Courtesy Of The US Congress

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What Do You Call This?

I was recently promoted at work.

More directly, I was told I would be promoted at work. That still stands
but as you will see, there is some confusion on my part.

Here's how the situation stands right now:

I was offered the Planner position. This is to the delight of Mr. G, who currently has the Planner position. Mr G. is moving to a dedicated account. Mr G. cannot leave the Planner position until I replace him. I cannot replace Mr. G until a replacement is hired for me. A replacement was hired for me but the department decided to put him into another position. Another replacement was hired. This person is now replacing another person who recently quit (gee, wonder why?). The company interviewed yet another potential replacement & decided not to hire him/her.

Mr. C runs the dedicated account & has to do Mr. G's job until he gets transferred. Mr. C is doing double duty & the account is suffering because of it. Mr. G is stuck in limbo with me & both of us are losing money as a result of this 2+ month fiasco.

Meanwhile Mrs. K interviewed, accepted & moved to her new job in under 2 weeks.

All of this is in the same department...& no, I don't work for the government!


Stick A Fork In It!

The amnesty bill is done! The Senate was unable to keep this horrible piece of legislation from collapsing on itself.

The bill, all 800 pages of it, somehow managed to make complicated what should be a simple stance on illegal immigration: If you're not here legally, you need to go home. Yes, people should be allowed to emigrate. Yes, the opportunity of America should be available, in turn, to people who want it. However, anyone who does want it needs to follow the rules.

My stance is simple:

1) Secure the border. Put the national guard there. You know, guarding the nation...

2) We don't need squads of state & federal agents running around looking for illegals. First, deport the ones arrested/cited for crimes & eliminate the "sanctuary city" policies.

3) Allow deported illegals to apply for visas/citizenship from their home countries. They will be at the back of the line with respect to all current applicants. Deported felons are not given consideration.

This will not affect current immigration regulations & still allow a fair shot even to people who violated America's laws. Senate/House, get a clue. The people don't want amnesty for illegals - they want the laws of the land to be upheld. Sadly, that seems beyond the interests of our current politicians.

Neither Do I

This one goes out to chlorinejenny of I Don't Play Well With Others...check out her site - she's got a great sense of humor, which is amazing for a liberal (j/k). We got into a bit of a comment-sparring match over how to best treat an escaped male prisoner on another blog & she gave as well as she got.

Well, chlorinejenny, this one's for you:

A daughter was watching her mother reading in a chair & noticed her grey hairs. Curious, she asked her mother how she got them.

"Well", the mother replied, "every time you do something that makes me sad or angry, I get a grey hair".

The child sat, thought for a second & quickly asked, "Mommy, then how come all of grammas hair is grey?" :-P


She Was In Vietnam?

In this MSNBC piece, former-president Bill Clinton states that the junior senator from New York "will never let a swiftboat-style attack go unanswered".

Taking into consideration that the term "swiftboat attack" is related to the 2004 presidential campaign of John F. Kerry, how else can we apply lessons learned for Mrs. Clinton?

1) Nuances. Yeah, that's the ticket to winning!

2) Say you're "mainstream". Of course, that's true if you don't count your socialist ideology or questionable ability to turn a small investment into a fortune.

3) Campaign slogan: "I'm Hillary Clinton & I'm reporting for duty!"

4) Learn how to eat a cheese steak...seriously.

5) Remind people constantly that you were First Lady (or in Vietnam).

6) Two words: "Global Test".

7) Assure potential voters that you "have a plan" but never actually outline what it is.

8) Pick a running mate that's affectionately known as "The Breck Girl".

9) Call for a recount in the state that cost you the election. Man, people looove lawyers in the democratic process.

10) Two words: "Flip-flop".


Insensitivity Training

I rear-ended a car a few days ago.

The driver got out of the other car & he was a DWARF!

He was pissed...

He looked up at me & yelled, "I am NOT Happy"!

I said, "Then which one are you?" :-P


This question goes out to anyone & everyone.

I'm divided in my thoughts. First, I want to leave Iowa. OK, that's not news & I definitely don't need a Freudian interpretation of my feelings. This state sucks & I'm better without it. Now that the negative stuff is out of the way, let me get to the point:

I obviously would like to be closer to my family (They live in South Carolina). They're important to me & I get along with all of them. Sure, it's probably because I don't see them all the time but still. I love them very much & spending all the time with them I can would be priceless. Moving to South Carolina makes sense. I unfortunately don't see much option to continue my education, though. That brings me to the other side of this coin...

I absolutely fell in love (the healthy, clean kind) with Texas when I was down there! It's beautiful, the people are friendly (a pox on you, Cedar Rapids!) & College Station/Bryan,TX is just the right size of town for me. I can finish my education at Texas A&M - a school to which I was accepted in 1997. I've always been a fan of the Corps of Cadets (Motto: Soldier, Statesman, Knightly Gentleman) & would be honored to attend a university that, unlike the University of Iowa, has a notable appreciation for our men & women in uniform.

So, what I'm asking is if you had the two above choices, what would you decide is best? I am unusually torn in this case.


What! No pillaging?

Online Dating

Mingle2 - Online Dating

This rating was determined because of the following words:
rape (x2) kill (x1)


Davenport, Iowa

An apparent road rage attack left one woman in a coma & two men severely beaten. The two perpetrators used golf clubs & a tire iron to carry out the attack.

OK, folks, as you can see from the attached article there's not much detail to offer. What I can advise in this case is don't get involved with road rage - let your pride go! I'm not saying let people walk all over you but I am saying it's not worth your life to prove a (superfluous) point. Even the most experienced martial artist/police officer/soldier is in a bind where multiple attackers are concerned. Add to that short-tempered thugs like the monsters in this case & you have a nightmare situation.

Like the last time I posted on this we're talking about a small town where this kind of thing just "doesn't happen". In cases of road rage, I think people feel powerful behind the wheel & certainly become more aggressive. Sadly, when people take it to the next level - hostile behavior - that illusion is broken & leaves this kind of disgusting crime in it's wake.


Just What We Need...

ANOTHER woman who knows everything!

A child, Georgia Brown, is apparently proportionately as intelligent as
Stephen Hawking. Her creative abilities are off the chart & she can already
use the word "arrogant" in conversation. You know what this means, right?

We have a two year-old little girl who is already capable of telling people
they're wrong ALL the time (152 IQ), able to fabricate a tremendous excuse
for any situation (creativity) & describe your personal shortcomings
("arrogant"). Ladies & gentlemen, I give you...

Woman 2.0!



I'm Back, Baby!

After an enjoyable (AND eventful) trip to College Station,TX I have finally returned. For four straight days, I didn't give one darn care about life in (blech!) Iowa.

I'll be posting some pics - mostly of the beautiful A&M campus - that I took during the trip. Of course, a picture may say a thousand words (does that count when you're writing an article?) but regaling you with tales of woe & adventure through standard prose is more entertaining for me.

Day 1) Relatively uneventful. We started a touch later than planned but my brilliant planning in using a shorter route made up for that. Yes, it actually *was* a shortcut!

We stopped at Red Robin around Kansas City,MO & had a good, fast lunch. Discovered parking a full size Penske truck, with car trailer, is even more space-consuming than Rosie O'Donnell's posterior...but not by much.

After arriving in Durant,OK (stopped there for the night) we checked in to the hotel, cleaned up & went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Unfortunately, none of them really spoke English. Fortunately, little sis Liz speaks it very well! Ah, dinner was excellent - if incomprehensible.

Day 2) Woke up about 530am to get ready. Liz & Mickey wanted to sleep in. After politely telling them to get off their duffs, we got ready to go. Mickey & I were trying to get breakfast at the hotel (good stuff - omelet sandwich, cinnamon rolls, coffee) & Liz was doing her best to get us going immediately. A T-storm had knocked out power at the local diesel station, so we headed to the next exit for fuel.

Not only did we find the fuel we were looking for but also the very hard-to-find Onyx brand cigar. I picked up three & we headed out.

This is where the real fun begins.

As we crossed into Texas (yee haw!) there was a massive T-storm moving in. Now, I used to live in Kansas, so I've seen a few of these. What I haven't seen is the incredible torrent that caused flooding on US-69 (heh!). Cars on the frontage roads were under water, traffic was stopped & you could hardly see. I guess that's why we missed the obvious...

A wall of water went OVER the truck! We were going about 45mph & this huge flow of the wet stuff running across the highway just rolled over us as we plowed through it. Seriously, I was looking for the stuff & never saw it. We did make it through OK, counted our blessings & forged ahead.

I've always believed God has a sense of humor. Why else then would we have a blowout on the trailer tire after just getting away from the storm? We sat on the side of the road (no spare - I know how to change them) for about 1/2 hour & called road service. Triangles out, flashers on, etc. We noticed the storm was rolling around to us & decided to limp up to the next exit to wait for road service. As we got out to pick up the triangles, God decided our morning showers weren't enough to get the three of us clean & sent us enough water to make my red shirt see-through (ICK!).

After waiting two hours at the gas station, we were repaired & rolling out. We hit a minor traffic delay near Dallas but the rest of the trip was uneventful. We arrived in College Station,TX about 230pm or so.

We went through the process of checking Liz & Mickey in to the apartment (small, but a very nice place) & unloaded a few of the bigger things from the truck. Since we were tired, sweaty & such, showers were the order of the day. Lunch was at Dave's BBQ across the street. $18.00 for 1lb of Brisket, three drinks & two sides. The food was hot, juicy & melted right in your mouth! Great BBQ if you can get it. I lived in Memphis for awhile, so you can take my word on it.

Day 3) HOT! Yes, here's the day when we toured the A&M campus. Beautiful place. I'll be posting that soon enough. I actually might go there to finish college. Just fell in love with it. First stop was IHOP for breakfast. Yummy. Later, we stopped at the school store to pick up some baubles (A&M metal car tag, ball cap for me) & looked around the place for a bit. We did tons of stuff all day & were just dead tired at the end of it. Took Mickey & Liz to Outback (2 blocks from their apartment - how cool is that?) for dinner since I had to leave on Wednesday. Still didn't get to smoke the cigars...

Day 4) :-( Had to fly out of College Station, lay over in Dallas for five hours & fly into Iowa (blech!). Met some nice people on the plane - one guy who started a business in LA, but lived in TX. Other had family in the Navy - which I was in - so we had stuff to talk about.

Layover in Dallas wasn't five hours. It was 7 hours. The flight got pushed back an hour, the pilot didn't show up for a 1/2 hour after that & we had to wait (seventh in line) to take off. They made up time on the trip, but I didn't get into CR until about 1045pm.

So, there's the recap of my first excursion into Texas. I must say, I do see why everyone who lives there loves the state. It's big, beautiful & the people are friendly beyond belief. If you get the chance to visit the people of College Station, do so. I promise you won't be disappointed. ($7.50 for TWO double shots of Dewar's on the rocks doesn't hurt, either!)


Can We De-Tenure Professors?

OK, in the attached article, we see that District Attorney Mike Nifong -
brought to fame through misconduct in the Duke "rape" case - was disbarred.
To the DA's credit, he owned up to it & did not fight the decision (better
late than never, I guess).

My question is: What about the 88 Duke University professors who were so
quick to convict these innocent children? They signed a petition, they
spoke as to how these privileged children - as if that makes being accused
of rape any easier - had life so easy. Yes, apparently coming from affluent
means makes you incredibly likely to commit unspeakable acts against
another person. Of course, I disagree.

Here's a(nother) case where justice may be blind, but it sure can smell

Honestly, I think the teachers should step up, admit they were wrong in
their "rush to judgement" (gee, sounds like other liberals accused a
certain elected executive of the same) & take their collective medicine. Of
course, like most leftist accusers in this society, they'll skulk away in
the shadows of their own embarrassment & get off scott-free. Why seek
forgiveness when you can just pretend you didn't commit a libelous act
against someone?

You'll notice these same cowards who ruthlessly attacked these boys - in
writing, no less - were remarkably reticent when it came to chiding the
accuser. Maybe "justice" really is a one-way street for the liberal



Fathers' Day Anecdote

Before I leave you for the brief excursion to Texas, I thought I'd post this gem from a few years back that my Father gave to a hapless gas station attendant on I-380 exit 10.

Dad: Parks right in front of the store, walks in, grabs two Aquafina brand bottles of water (oh yeah, the big ones!). Walks up to register to pay.

Cashier: [Rings up items] "Do you have gas?" (In a conversational tone)

Dad: (Not missing a beat) "No, I'm just really thirsty."

Wah, wah, waaaaah!!! :-P


The Stars At Night...

Well, I'm headed to Texas for a brief excursion. I'll be taking off on Sunday morning & driving (oh! the humanity!) all the way down to College Station,TX to help my little sis, Liz, & her fiance move there for college.

This is my first time through Oklahoma & Texas, so I'm at least excited about that. I'm slightly less excited about the 100-degree heat, humidity & fact that my southern drawl has long since been lost when I left South Carolina. I do have that "honorary" Texan card from my friend, JP, so maybe I'll be able to survive. ;-)

I'll be out of town until Wednesday night, so if there's a lack of posting, y'all don't blame me, OK? I'm on an adventure!


Why Worry About It, Then?

London-based Oil Depletion Analysis Centre (LODACrap) have determined world oil supplies will dwindle in as little as four years. Naturally, this brings forward some issues to consider. First in my mind is:

Global warming. Well, it can be as HUGE a problem like Al "Carbon Footprint" Gore says, because the main cause of this trend - according to Mr. Gore - is humans burning fossil fuels. With one form of those devastatingly evil resources gone, you'd think the hippies would be headed back to their wanton celebrations of the 60s again!

Of course, what we really get in this scenario is a socialist's dream: excessively high oil prices, potential global recession & limited ability to produce items popular in capitalist culture.

Here's a few "concerns" noted in the list:

- Crippling of oil-dependent countries. "In the 1970s a reduction of just 5 per cent caused a price increase of more than 400 per cent". Yeah, and Jimmy Carter didn't help things, either.

- Everyday household items. "Most plastics...are made from oil-based substances". Hey, hippies, good luck getting people to recycle plastic bags when you can't make them in the first place. Time to kill trees for paper bags! TIMBER!!!

- Health & Beauty. "Metal production...cosmetics, hair dye, ink and...painkillers rely on oil" OK, so hippies don't use cosmetics - or even shower - much. I can't imagine ink is a big concern since they only e-mail on Macs from various coffee shops.

- Irony. "Most renewable energy equipment requires large amounts of oil to produce". Not as "renewable" as you claimed, was it?

Sure, we'll probably see the left go all 1999 New Years when the oil does actually run out. The fact is if oil does run out in four years, as predicted, then the global warming advocates will lose the big bucks rolling in from government spending because there's one less concern for said crackpot theory.

Gee, maybe they were right about that "global recession" thing, after all!


Harvey, Is There Something You Want To Say?

I came across this interesting comic on the Day by Day website.

Interesting because it gives me the distinct impression that our pal, Harvey, of Bad Example may be:

1) A source for the mainstream media in Iraq


2) The Easter Bunny

I'm having trouble figuring out which...


Let's Ground The Wing-Nuts!

Leftist groups in San Francisco are pushing to ground the U.S. Navy's Blue
Angels team during the city's annual Fleet Week. Ironically, Fleet Week is
held in San Francisco as an opportunity to give thanks to the men & women
in the military for their service to this great nation. San Francisco's
populace, a majority of which apparently loathes the military (JROTC,
anyone?), has demonstrated they do not deserve to have any support -
particularly economic - from the military.

Groups such as Code Pink, Global Exchange & Veterans for Peace (don't all
of us veterans want peace? That's what the military is there to provide!)
are citing various wing-nut reasons such as "wasted fuel" (talk to Al
"Private Jet" Gore), or "barreling" into the Golden Gate bridge (Yeah, you
probably blame the victims of plane crashes, too). This sort of pathetic
vitriol is no surprise coming from these obviously radical organizations.

As I've said before, I cannot appreciate the irony of these anti-American
loons protesting the very organization that gives life & limb to protect
them. As a veteran myself, I believe those who have served & are serving -
regardless of political/ideological affiliation - should be given the
utmost of respect & courtesy for providing this warm blanket of freedom we
enjoy every day. Those who have served & argue against the military & it's
mission in defending this country: SHAME ON YOU! You, of all people in this
country, should know how often those who serve are in harm's way. They
fight for the very peace you claim in your organization's title.

The military exists FOR peace! That may seem like a contradiction in terms
but I beg to differ. The only way you can ensure someone is less-likely to
attack you is to convince them you are not an easy target. For the United
States, a nation that serves as an example of freedom, resolve & the
ability to defend yourself is paramount. Any dictator, despot or thug - all
enemies of liberty - will, without exception, stand against this nation &
hope for our demise. Those who rally against the strength of our military -
the guarantor of our way of life - serve only to give these foes comfort &

We, as civilians, can do very little to honor their dedication, sacrifice &
courage. These men & women in uniform honor themselves in every action. We
can only offer our support.


2nd Degree Essay

Well, it's all done!

One rough draft & many revisions later I have what I consider to be my finest work. I dare say my writing was bold, when needed, subtle, when nuance was appropriate, and organized, like a Bad Example comment attack. I even went so far as to have an English teacher review my paper. If there's anything as blunt-force trauma through criticism, an English teacher can show you!

It's also my longest piece ever. 1o pages, single spaced.

So, when can everyone read it? >:-)




You can't! Well, at least not until my instructor reads it & accepts my thesis for teaching. After that, it's going to the public domain. In the mean time, feel free to read my 1st Degree Essay.


Edward Kennedy's "Frankenstein"

With all respects to Mary Shelley's classic work.

Senator Kennedy, along with the assistance of his faithful lackey, Igor Senator Harry Reid, intends to revive the amnesty immigration amnesty bill that failed in the Senate, 45 - 50.

Other than affording me the chance to use too many strikethroughs, how is this like Frankenstein?

In a remarkable parallel to the maniacal doctor, Senator Kennedy & his lab assistants foolishly believe they can give life to an abomination that defies the laws of this nation. The massive public outcry (think mob raiding a castle) against this bill says it all: Let this monster never be given life.

Remarkably, Senator Reid practically guessed I was going to write this post. As if granting me license, he stated the following:

"I'm a creature of the Senate. I understand we live by the rules that govern this body. I accept that. We're going to do everything we can to pass this bill as soon as we can. When is that? I don't know, but we're going to work hard and try to put aside the hurt feelings that we have. The country needs and the Senate needs to do this."

With all the eloquence of "Yes, master!", he agrees with the senior Senator from Massachusetts that this aberration should be thrust upon the people against their will.

What the supporters of this bill are asking is we Americans accept that the only way to stop illegal immigration is to grant a blanket amnesty for those already here. That's like trying to stop murder by killing the victims - there's no sense behind it.

Here's my solution to the problem:

1) Deport all illegal aliens & those with expired visas. Any legal alien convicted of a felony is also sent home. Sanctuary policies of cities are abolished.

2) All illegal aliens (non-felons) may apply for citizenship/resident alien status from their home countries AFTER regular applications are processed.

3) Stick the National Guard on the southern border. All illegals captured will be detained & deported. Any vehicle used in transporting illegals from Mexico is demolished.

Sure, it's point-blank for a solution but this subject just isn't funny anymore. I welcome anyone who wants to be a citizen of this country & does so legally. Anyone else will need to know that trying to get here illegally is a long, hard road to citizenship.


Flirty McGee, Part Two

Whoops! Looks like someone let slip the nickname I have for a co-worker
here. Well, since I'm not a confrontational guy & certainly don't like
rocking the boat, I'd like to apologize...

For someone not taking a well-meaning Simpson-esque joke like the humorous
jab that it was.

I'm sure as heck not apologizing for what I said! For Pete's sake, I said
it, I meant it & I'd only retract it if it was proven to be false. Society
seems to think everyone's owed an apology for everything. Not this guy!
Whether she saw it on this website (Hey, no such thing as bad publicity,
right?) or from someone else, it was a darn funny nickname!

Take this as a lesson, folks. As we're all growing up we get "picked on",
are the butt of the joke, etc. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it sucks but
we all have the responsibility to get over it. Believe me, many of you
would weep for me - OK, maybe just sympathize - if you knew how miserable
it was for me in high school. The solution? Well, I can't very well go back
& get back at all of them. I definitely can't do anything to change the
past - I'm not brilliant enough to create a time machine. Reasonably,
there's only one thing I could do:


Time For Al Gore To Run

That's right. Al Gore visited Chicago for a book signing on 6/6 & heard some of the crowd chanting "Run Al, run" - apparently in hopes that the former vice-president would take up the campaign trail once again.

Well, I think it's high time this pillar of integrity & impartiality takes up the mantle of "candidate" once more & rises to meet the people. After all, nothing says "mandate" like a couple hundred fanatics rushing to a book signing.

Mr. Gore, who gave us the liberal bible "An Inconvenient Truth" & the recent "The Assault On Reason" is a politically-neutral individual who would never try to push an agenda of any sort! For example, it's only coincidence that the global warming phenomenon - a concept alien to anyone whose ever endured an Iowa winter - is a predominately liberal brainchild. Everyone knows if Al Gore says it, we must take it as fact.

So, sure I think he'd be a great candidate. He's definitely not a divisive person - as his many rounds of recounts in Florida to overturn the 2000 vote demonstrate. He's certainly not one to push an agenda - such as global warming or silencing opposing political voices. No, Al Gore deserves the "bumper sticker" slogan (not that one, John Edwards) that says it all...

"Run Al, run!"

Now, that goes on the front bumper, right?

New Black Belts!

We had six, count 'em, six, students test for either recommended black belt, junior black belt or 1st Degree black belt tonight! Since they all deserve an individual recognition, here's my breakdown of each candidate's test:

1) Dylan (1st Degree): Above standards, as always. He's a talented kid of (almost) 16 who enjoys TKD, HKD & Arnis. Not only were all of his techniques better than I'd expect of someone testing for 1st degree, his knowledge of all required terminology was perfect! Add to that a student who shows respect to every person in class & you have a young man who earned his black belt in every way.

2) Broc (Junior Black Belt): Because he's under 16, Broc wasn't eligible to receive his 1st Degree belt. In some ways that's a shame because Broc, whom I graded, knocked it out of the park! Not only did he impress me with much-improved kicks & strikes, he also managed to answer every question but one when I tested him on terminology. For anyone who's ever had to endure my form of inquisition, they'll tell you it's not easy.

3) Zach (Junior Black Belt): Another solid test. He does need to work on forms - his only weak point - but the rest of his test was excellent. He's never one to hesitate when sparring or practicing self-defense & that's where he really shined.

4) Michael (Junior Black Belt): Michael is a student at the Cedar Rapids school. He's well-balanced in most aspects of the art & tonight was no disappointment. His forms, one-steps & sparring were all respectable. Where he needs to improve is reaction time for self-defense. There were a couple spots where he hesitated. Still, that's why we work on these things in class.

5) Josh (Recommended Black): Josh holds himself to very high standards. This was evident in the test where he did very well in every part - no exceptions. He broke one of two boards & you could see the disappointment on his face. I explained to him that wanting to improve is fine - feeling disappointed because you earned a 99 out of 100 on a test isn't. He did a good job & he should believe that - I'm not an easy judge.

6) Katie (Recommended Black): Other than Dylan, Katie is the one for whom I had the highest expectations. Though just a young teenager, she was in gymnastics before TKD & her natural flexibility & endurance as a gymnast show. That being said, I'm happy to see she doesn't take that ability for granted & puts effort into every part of class. Focused is how I'd best describe her when in class or testing.

Again, congratulations to all the new black belts! You all earned every bit of the black belts you can now wear.


Doctors have labeled a new ailment for those of us (me, too) who have a Nintendo Wii & use it a bit too much.

The new disorder, called Wiiitis (defined as affecting the shoulder from repetitive motion), is not only the newest fad in medicine...but also the only time I've ever seen the letter "i" used three times in a row.

I predict this won't be the end of the new "itis" phase. With everything being a disease - from obesity to criminal behavior - there's a plethora of opportunities for rip-off artists, doctors, insurance companies to make money by naming even more.

I own a Wii. I enjoy my Wii. I don't have "Wiiitis" because I don't spend all day with my Wii. If you're starting to feel a twinge in your shoulder STOP. PLAYING.

Doesn't Get Much Better...

Than having your humble work posted on IMAO, of all places!

Harvey, my blog-muse at Bad Example, liked one of my posts & decided to grant me a link on what I consider one of the best political humor sites on the web.

Thanks again, Harvey. You've got one very jazzed blog-groupie here!


Let's Put Blame Where Blame Is Due!

After Representative John Murtha (D-PA) decided to blame the United States for the terror plot to level JFK Airport (because 0f our troops in Iraq) I realized it's high time we place blame where blame is due in other areas of interest.

Let's face it: fighting terrorism only causes more terrorism, so we've got to stop fighting it & it'll just go away. You know, just like every other problem in the world. Here are some other examples of where good people are to blame for bad things...

1) U.S. Taxpayers - That's right, ya jerks! Paying your taxes only causes taxes to go higher. Sure, you thought, like I once did, that it's because you elected Democrats. But no, it's paying them that causes it!

2) Doctors - Here's another example of wrongdoing. By fighting disease, these oppressive opportunists are simply paving the way for more airborne attacks at the microscopic level.

3) Construction Workers - You knew this one had to be on the list. Every time you see those guys & gals slaving under a hot sun for 12+ hours a day, you think they're helping you drive on safer roads? HA! They're really causing more potholes.

4) Justice System - Locking up criminals prevents them from committing crimes, right? WRONG!!! Locking up criminals causes perfectly innocent people to become deranged, sociopathic warmongers who go on crime sprees just to keep the percentages of murder, armed robbery, etc. at their "normal levels". C'mon! Quit wasting our tax dollars on fighting something that's going to be a problem anyway.

4a) I'll bet Representative Murtha fully supports #4. Especially if we're talking about bribery charges!

5) Teachers - You think working tons of overtime, with low pay, being unappreciated & dealing with recalcitrant miscreants in the name of fighting illiteracy is noble? Nah. You need to wake up & smell what's being shoveled. Teachers cause illiteracy by fighting it!

I think Representative Murtha has hit the nail on the head when it comes to placing blame. Heck, anyone who tries to do good in the world is subject, no, DESERVES to be impugned in this matter. As a former Marine, you'd think he'd have a clue of right from wrong. Marines - in my experience as a subordinate to one in my Navy days - tend to have very clear moral clarity. I've never met one I wouldn't be proud to count as a friend (or have on my side in a fight). Somewhere, that Marine lost his way.


Hey, How'd That End Last Time?

It seems Vladimir Putin, the "former" KGB agent & president of Russia, wants to renew the former Soviet republic's interest in targeting Europe. This in response to the United States & our allies building a missile "shield" in the event Iran acquires nuclear weapons.

Look, I have no problems with the Russkies covering their collective (pun intended) backsides - that's just common sense. However, playing this as another arms race when the reality is we're helping defend Israel is just dirty pool. Not that I expect Putin plays by anyone's rules (poison, anyone?).

This really comes down to the Russian support of Iran since the Soviet days when the Shah was deposed. Old, nostalgic Vladi longs for the days of yore - nuclear standoffs between two superpowers, tensions high around the globe, liberals cowering before the power of communists (better red than dead, my eye!) - counting on the fact there's no great unity in the West to counter the encroachment of a seemingly recovering evil empire. I've got news for you there. We still remember Ronald Reagan & how he stared down four of your Soviet premiers to the point of faltering. You'd do well to recall the same.

Well, like the Byzantine Empire nearly re-established Rome (one can only dream), the Russians must know that the world body - at least the ones who count - will not endure another rise of communism attempting to impose its will around the world. Surely, the people of the world - particularly those who lived behind the iron curtain - would stand as one & defy such an imperious move...

OK, I'm not so sure about that last part. Unless Putin changes his name to "Bush", I don't think NATO, the UN, etc will be clamoring over each other to denounce the erection of missile sites aimed at Europe. Sorry, but the UN is corrupt, wasteful & has a spine that makes a jellyfish look rigid. NATO's "teeth" basically comes from the US & UK - two countries without which the world would be an even more terrifying place.

Well, Get To It!

Some citizens of Vermont - you know, the state that's notoriously lenient on child predators - are talking about seceding from the union. Apparently, these people's sympathies rest with believing the United States is an "empire" on the verge of faltering & they want out.

Well, enough talk, I say! Go ahead & go!

Sure, there will now be a tariff if you want to impress your lady-friend with one of those saccharine teddy bears the state churns out during Valentine's Day but, really, I think it's worth a few $$$ to be rid of the state that gave us the first (official) socialist in the U.S. Senate.

Now, there's going to be logistical concerns in the People's Republic of Vermont (all communist countries have names like that), so I'd like to offer them some advice:

1) Start buttering up Canada RIGHT AWAY!!! If you're going to try importing goods over foreign (read: American) soil, you can bet your former nation won't be too keen on letting things through. Sure, you can try to send it by air but we Americans have a top-notch military that loves slow-moving targets.

2) Pray those teddy bears can support your failing maple syrup-dependent economy.

3) Get that socialist back from the oppressive halls of Washington, D.C. & name him El Presidente! Socialism has never failed where it's been tried, so that's the safest bet for a robust, prosperous country.

4) Name a few of those child predators - you know, the ones you think aren't punishable - as your "founding fathers". Nothing gets respect like having aging perverts as powerful political figures. Think Bill Clinton, without an age limit.

5) Well, he might check for ID...

6) Change your currency from the dollar - a perpetually value-less piece of paper - to the ruble. Ah, the ruble. Now THAT'S a powerhouse of the global economy.

7) The "Green Mountain Manifesto" sounds like it would make a great constitution. Anything with the name "manifesto" in it sounds catchy.

8) To wacky socialist co-eds.

I guess if they do secede, we'll have a neighbor called the People's Republic of Vermont (PeRVrt for short). It'll be just like a country, only smaller!


Party's Over?

With the "shamnesty" bill (credit to Michelle Malkin for the perfect word)
being debated in Congress & being propped up by the White House, I really
can't believe anyone running the Republican party actually wants to keep it
running. The fact they've lost 40% (read that somewhere) of funding means
they're well on the way to reducing their budget & (soon to follow)
expenses! Why can't they manage to do that in government.

I don't know if saying the party is going down in flames is fair but it IS
starting to look like a WW II bomber that's riddled with bullets, losing
altitude & fuel. In fact, I'd take that analogy a step farther & say that
only the pilot & copilot think this thing's not headed for disaster - 1/2
the crew has already bailed.

Ronald Reagan (cringe liberals!) once gave a speech titled "No Pale
Pastels", in which he admonishes those in the Republican party who believed
the base of the party should be "broader". In his terms, it was a call to
"fuzz up and blur" the contrasts between liberals & conservatives,
Democrats & Republicans. The problem, of course, is that when you can't
tell the difference between candidates & parties how can you know for what
(if anything) they stand?

In my opinion, the current predicament with illegal immigration & the
capitulation of granting amnesty simply demonstrates the cowardice, on this
particular issue, of Republican leadership to do what is right: secure the
borders, oust the illegals & allow those who are otherwise law-abiding to
apply for citizenship FROM THEIR OWN COUNTRIES. In effect, the Republican
party has not only raised that banner of "Pale Pastels", it is waving it
with the pride that should be reserved for Old Glory - a flag of bold,
defined colors that represents the best of this country.

What we have is a call to relativism, something that leads to nothing
better than collectivist ideals - a belief that doing what is right is
counter to the common good. In fact, both political parties have blurred
the lines & relegated themselves to doing what is easy - granting amnesty
to illegals - instead of deporting them & upholding the laws of this
nation. By demonstrating willingness to grant amnesty to illegal aliens,
the government acknowledges they are allowing the laws they have sworn to
uphold are being violated on a daily basis.

Until leadership with a belief of absolute morality (that's called "right &
wrong" for you relativists) is present in any political party, there's no
reason to claim membership in one. The current incarnation of Republican
leadership has been a disappointment since taking control of Congress. At
no point did any political party have so great an opportunity to DO for the
American people & yet deliver on so little. Blame does not rest with
Democrats, liberals, dissenting votes, etc. The burden of unrealized
opportunity rests with those who had providence before them & feared to
claim it for their own. Republican leadership, don't spend time looking in
the mirror. Placing blame never fixed anything. Recognize what is BEST for
America in the long term & abandon the path of least resistance. This
nation was founded on a path of principle, moral value & respect for the
law. We can only aspire to live up to that vision.

And aspire we must.

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