12/31/07

Poise! Gotta Love Poise!

The Recipe For Hapkido

3 parts Vigor
2 parts Defiance
1 part Impishness

Splash of Poise

Sip slowly on the beach

12/30/07

Annoying Trend 2

OK, this is one I'm sure all of us have encountered heading to the store:

That one jerk that's blocking the entire row because he/she is waiting to get that good parking spot. Of course, never mind that there's a space about 5 spots down & the person on whom they're waiting has 3 kids & hasn't unlocked their doors.

No, sparky can't save 2 minutes & walk 20 extra feet, which he/she probably needs for exercise anyway. Instead, that car of his will hold everyone up until the line is backed up & every one's so pissed they'd kick their own mother-in-law to get a space. Not that we're talking much of a stretch here but you get my point.

Annoying Trend 1

I've noticed more & more that people, particularly women, are doing something that completely annoys me. It's not really a rude thing so much as a haughty, entitled & i-am-oh-so-privileged act that makes me want to smack them. The transgression?

Drinking coffee while shopping at the supermarket.

It's pretentious & acting like you're some rich, privileged aristocrat only accentuates the irony that you're out there shopping when a rich person wouldn't actually have to do that.

Stop it people, please!

Maybe More Will Get Done

I guess the UN thinks people have finally figured out that the international organization, 1/5 funded by the US taxpayers, is disgustingly impotent in the face of everything except global warming.

Considering the group, which includes despots, thugs & communist nations, seems to be more of a source of extra income for higher-ranking members, I can only think they're calling on Spidey because they hope maybe those three movies were real. It's obvious how they shrink from any challenge (& call on the USA to bail them out) that they don't have that "presence" enemies will fear.

Since they need to revitalize their image, I suggest they try a different tack than comic book heroes:

Get a pair.



The excerpt, courtesy of FoxNews:
Comic Relief

The United Nations is joining forces with Marvel Comics — creators of "Spider-Man" and "The Incredible Hulk" — in an effort to revive the U.N.'s troubled image.

The joint effort is supposed to result in a comic book showing the international body working with superheroes to solve bloody conflicts and rid the world of disease.

The comic will be distributed free to 1 million U.S. schoolchildren and will be set in a war-torn fictional country. The U.N. then hopes to translate the comic into other languages and distribute it worldwide.

Former U.S. ambassador to the U.N. and staunch critic John Bolton tells FOX News: "I'd like to know who's paying for this comic episode."

12/29/07

Results vs. "isms"

I was re-reading an e-mail entitled "How To Be A Good Democrat" sent to me by a friend a while back. It was funny, seemed largely true along party lines & I got a good chuckle out of some of the 22 points.

As I went back through the list, one of them caught my eye:
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas
Edison, and A.G. Bell.

For those of you who don't know, Margaret Sanger founded the American Birth Control League & Gloria Steinem is a well-known feminist.

What really stopped me on this one is the "real" argument of the statement (as I see it). A.G Bell gave us inventions such as the telephone; Thomas Edison invented the phonograph & light bulb; Thomas Jefferson was, of course, president & the primary writer of the Declaration of Independence. These are very real & tangible things. Results, if you will.

The people listed above gave us ideas brought to fruition that improved our lives on different levels. One could easily argue that democracy is more valuable than the light bulb but I'm not talking magnitude here - just productive vs. non-productive efforts. We, as Americans, can see the great things these men have done for us every day we live.

Now, to the other side of the argument.

"Isms", such as those espoused by Gloria Steinem & the late Margaret Sanger do not produce results. This is not to say women don't deserve equal rights, nor is it to claim fighting for equality is a bad thing. It's simply to state that certain & prominent ideals in these ideologies stink because they have been hijacked & perverted by the standard-bearers. If "payback" is part of your agenda, your ideology is counter-productive.

Take socialism, for example. We have a system that says everyone shall enjoy equal conditions. Wow! Sign me up. That's a great thing, right? No matter how little effort I put in, I'm guaranteed to live at the same level as everyone else. Take that, free market!

Of course, we see how that's worked for Europe and the former Soviet Union: not so good. While a capitalist society will largely have the individual support themselves & a family - this is a motivating factor - the socialist society expects many individuals to prop up the whole as if they were a team. That would be great - if we were ants.

Or robots.

Which puts us at liberalism. The common mantra of the liberal is all about "good intentions". (Note to younger readers: "Bush lied" is a more recent catch phrase) I can't think of too many cases where liberalism has led to results. Oh sure, it gave us social security, but go over that "socialism" part up there to see where that goes.

Liberals apparently think that words, not deeds are all that is needed to enjoy success. It may be that way for them come election time but no one ever seems to win when all you have to show for a democrat congress is higher taxes, impotence and, of course, good intentions.

12/25/07

How Much Was The Tip?

It looks like those bureaucratic whackos in Boston finally completed the "Big Dig" to alleviate the traffic conditions in that busted-up burg.

The cost to us taxpayers? $14.8 Billion

Of course, I couldn't help but wonder how that money could have been better spent. You know, instead of lining Senator Kennedy's pockets. Obviously, such a large amount of money is not required for a traffic construction project, no matter how big.

Better Ways To Spend That $14.8B:
1) 3 Aircraft Carriers. Power projection galore!

2) Spend it on the troops! Libs claim to support them, right?

3) Replace all those mailboxes Roses took out during winter months.

4) Truman Show 2: Hillary In The Dome - Let her think she won the presidency & keep her out of our lives!

5) I'm sure Bill's on-board with that.

6) Start Luxury SUV company. Flagship? "The Guzzler", 2mpg, seal-skin interior with bald eagle down. Give away year's supply of gas to further thumb nose at Al Gore.

7) And yes, I'd offer a "monster tire" option.

8) Dump it into a volcano.

9) Junk food, candy & video games...

Leading to:

10) Liposuction, personal trainer & LASIK surgery.


Heck, everything above is better than wasting it on traffic - something that's always going to be a problem in Boston - and politicians feeding at the trough. Not that Senator Kennedy would ever do something questionable or illegal...

Unfortunate "Epiphany"

Did you ever just sit there and realize that you're just a tool for some people?

I'm by no means perfect, of course, but I do try to give help to people who need it. Unfortunately, I think those same people have become all to used to it.

Look, I'm a young, single person who has some time & a decent amount of money in the bank - I like to help people out instead of being all "me, me, me". Apparently, that's a siren-song for some "friends" that decide the goodness of my heart is exploitable.

And I suppose that's true.

I had friends that needed help moving. No problem, I took a day off of work going into a 3-day weekend & drove, 1000 miles, in a darn uncomfortable truck to help them out. They didn't owe me a thing but they did pay to fly me home - something that was very generous. I figure they're getting a good start & was glad to see them beginning their new life.

Of course, I couldn't tell you how their life has been because they've been incommunicado for the past, oh, 6 months or so. I've tried to call, text, e-mail, etc. Hell, maybe smoke signals or carrier pigeons would work. Funny how they disappear when you're irrelevant, huh?

I won't bore you with any-more trifles. Let's just say I realized tonight, after doing a favor for which I was criticized after following through, that I've been a complete tool for people longer than I care to remember.

I think I started it so people would appreciate/like me more. Of course, that probably didn't help much. People either like you or they don't - favors have very little to do with it. So here I find myself: 33; single; living a life in standby.

Dammit, this sucks.

12/24/07

How To Listen To Classical Music

Just plain awesome!


video

Interesting "Facts"

A friend sent this to me at work. Since some of the below is untrue, I decided to have a little fun with it.

My comments in italics


VERY INTERESTING STUFF

In the 1400s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat
his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of
thumb"

Can't do much damage with that now, can we? Perhaps we shoulda called that
"rule of wrist"

-------------------------------------------

Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into
the English language.

Women re-write history as they declare "Get Out, Lazy F**ks"
-------------------------------------------

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and
Wilma Flintstone.

Fred Flintstone later sued NBC for invasion of privacy
-------------------------------------------

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury.

And yet the value of the Monopoly dollar remains strong
-------------------------------------------
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

WHAT?
-------------------------------------------

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Yeah, and after you drank some of the original, you'd see lots of pretty colors
-------------------------------------------

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

In Hapkido, we can make that possible for others. Plus, the guy who could do that naturally, would get ALL the women!
-------------------------------------------

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska

The State with the highest percentage of people who HAVE to walk to work:
Alabama - bad edumucation
-------------------------------------------

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%

Yeah, but the other 72% is desert
-------------------------------------------

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The rest is actually habitable
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400

It's still cheaper than raising a kid for one year!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The average number of people airborne over the US in any given hour:
61,000

And I'll bet you Al Gore is one of them...headed to a global warming benefit
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

That explains the nice, metallic sheen I have!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

First novel written in stone: Ten Commandments
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

I think you're forgetting about the Clinton National Sperm Bank
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David - Dead
Hearts - Charlemagne - Also, dead
Clubs -Alexander, the Great - Was kind of messed up. Drank himself to death or poisoned
Diamonds - Julius Caesar - Ouch. Stabby, stabby!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

1 + 1 = 2
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the
air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air
the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has
all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Total BS. Nice try, though
----------------------------------------------------------------- -------
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John
Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the
last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

I'll bet that last, indecisive guy was a liberal...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

Count me out of that group. Losers.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name
requested?

A. Obsession

A close 2nd was "Big Daddy Longstroke"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

Or you could just say "a dozen" instead of 12
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

Yep, and you'll need one of them if a woman is angry, on-fire, crying on your car or wants to divorce your sorry butt.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

I think Spam is the same way...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

Ironically, most of these are to ask for money
------------------------------------------------------------

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer
to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

Also used mockingly to torture victims in the Spanish Inquisition
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar
was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know
today as the honeymoon.

Yeah, cuz the guy needed to drink to cope with his mistake! When he sobered up, the "honeymoon was over"! :-P

------------------------------------------------------------------------
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England ,
when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your
pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Funny, I thought that was related to drinking too much beer & messing
yourself on a pool table.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used
the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired
by this practice.

A lot of communicable diseases were, too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

Again, see Hapkido...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a
porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?


Yep, we're all retards.

12/23/07

Universal Christmas Greeting

To My Democrat Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion
of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the
religious /secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice
not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a
fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but
not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that
America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America
in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual
preference of the wish.


To My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

12/16/07

Prayers, Please

I have a good friend in the blogging community who is having a rough Christmas season. I won't be mentioning names - that's not what this is about.

I just ask that everyone say a quick prayer for this friend: that the problems now will be solved in good time and to remember that friends and family will always be near to help.

Shopping Almost Done

It's been an adventure trying to get every gift together this year, but I'm almost there! The last of the ones shipping goes tomorrow & I only have to get one more (this Wednesday) for up here.

So far I've bought:

A ******* **** for Mom & Dad
2 **** *** ***** for my brother, Matt
A nice ******** **** ******* for my sister, Shannon
A year's worth of **** ******** **** for my friend, Scott
America's Army on XBox 360 for my friend, JP (already gave it to him)

All that remains is my brother, Michael's, present. I'm still really confounded on what to get him. I'll probably throw price to the wind & get him that ******* *** ****** I think he'd really like.

Blanks will be revealed after Christmas! MWAHAHAHA!!!

12/14/07

Are You Taliban?

YOU MIGHT BE A TALIBAN IF...

You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

You own a $300 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

You have more wives than teeth.

You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

You've opened a can of falafel with a mortar round.

You've had your camel repossessed.

You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

You've never been asked, "Does this burka make my butt look big?"

You've felt the urge to "rub her out" after seeing a woman's exposed ankle.

You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

You've never uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean".

Holiday Gift Ideas

Timeless gifts that may be hard-to-find but are oh so worth it!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

12/12/07

Go Greyhound

A supervisor tried to throw me under the bus this week.

Over something that I never knew about. He claimed I was notified of an
issue & put it in writing to my boss.

More specifically, he lied about me being involved in the issue being
discussed. Even better, I was able to prove he was not being truthful. Of
course, I'd better enjoy that fact because we all know he's not getting
called on the carpet for this BS like I would.

Still, it darn sure felt good to push back & know I was the good guy.

12/11/07

Stupid Weather

TKD & HKD were canceled tonight because of ANOTHER bleeping ice storm! OK, I've had my fill of winter & it's not even winter yet!

If I could just land a job in SC - where it was 78 today, BTW - I would rarely have to deal with this freezing-my-hiney-off weather & almost never see snow. Even then, when it snows in SC there's a certain appreciation for the white stuff. Up here it's like an unwelcome acquaintance ("Oh, it's YOU again").

Anyone else sick of this crap already?

Nicely Summarized

I came across this article while browsing Rush Limbaugh's site.

It explores the common thread between terrorism, liberalism & socialism with a bit of Marquis de Sade thrown in for good measure. I've always felt liberals are too capitulatory when it comes to jihadists & this article provides a good explanation for that:

They are both perversions of humanity.

While liberalism seeks to explain perversion away - I don't even think the word "perversion" would be used by a liberal-minded thinker - terrorism exploits it & liberalism for its own gains. The article provides a far better read than you'll get from my opinion, so check it out.

12/7/07

Air Fall

Well, it's been months but at long last here's the video of my air fall. While I'll admit it's not my best (height-wise, that is - I've gone much higher) I've improved dramatically since this video was recorded months ago.

Confidence works wonders!

video

12/5/07

For The Troops

In honor of our brave men & women, fighting for us all of the year and particularly this Holiday season, I'd like to post the following. This was sent to me by my friend, Ron, and read to drivers of a local trucking company by my friend, James, on a CD that was sent to all of them last year.

I can't tell you who wrote it and I suppose that's not really the point. The fact is, whether you support the War on Terror or not, all Americans owe our military a bottomless debt of gratitude for the rights they provide through their daily sacrifices. No protester can claim such a thing. No mere politician could be labeled as a champion for the cause of Freedom. Only the Soldier, Sailor, Airman and Marine are worthy of such an honor.


The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Soldier, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."

"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

12/4/07

Joke Theme, Continued

This one's in honor of hunting season:

Three men are duck hunting when the discussion turns to their dogs - all
black Labrador Retrievers with excellent pedigrees. Each man is bragging
about how great his dog is & they decide to put money on it.

When the hunters down their first ducks, the first man sends his dog out.
It takes him two trips but he gets both ducks.

The second group of ducks comes in & this time the hunters get four ducks.
The second hunter's dog swims out, gets all the ducks in one try & brings
them back.

Finally, the last dog is sent after the next round of ducks. There's only
two but the dog hops out, runs ON THE WATER & retrieves the ducks in record
time. The third hunter, smug in the knowledge he had won, turned to the
others & asked, "What do you guys think about that?"

The first hunter shot back, "Wow, you must be so embarrassed!"

"How do you figure that?", the third hunter replied.

The first continued, "You spent all that money on a dog that can't even
swim?"

CJenny's Back!!!

Oh, today was a good, GOOD day! Blogfriend ChlorineJenny of IDPWWO is back after an apparently busy hiatus from blogging.

If you haven't visited her site & subjected yourself to her oh-so-subtle brand of humor, you need to do so immediately. If you think I'm just building her up, know that I checked her site frequently while she was gone, just hoping that she'd post something new.

Today, I just decided to check again & BAM, she was right back at posting!

Welcome back, CJenny, good to see you in the blogosphere again! :-)

My New Form

It's been about 3 months (I think) since I was promoted to 2nd Degree in TKD. Considering we had a regular testing right after that & my somewhat recent promotion, my opportunities have been limited to actually learn my new forms.

This one's called Eui-Am ("WE AM") & it has 45 movements. This is the longest form I've had to learn so far (OK, by one move - Ge Baek was 44) but the next, Choong Jang, has 52. Fortunately, I allow myself 6 to 8 months to learn one of these things, so there's not a rush on any one form (that would kind of defeat the purpose).

I managed to find the video of it with pretty decent quality. Watch if you like, but keep in mind videos are like diagrams - they're really only useful if you basically already know what you're doing. In other words: don't try this at home.

12/3/07

Good Joke

This one just popped into my head for no good reason. But first, some back story...

We had a priest in South Carolina, Father Jerry, who, for his homily, always lead off with some sort of related joke. Now, as you can imagine, they weren't racy but still funny.

A priest decided to skip church on Sunday to play golf. He called for a replacement, saying he was sick & hit the links.

As the priest played through, St. Peter noticed the wayward pastor was having the game of his life: 6 under par after 9 holes. The gately saint shook his head in dismay & went to God, asking that He intervene.

God simply looked at St. Peter & said, "All will be taken care of, my son".

With that, St. Peter continued to watch the priest & was shocked to see he was doing even better after 17 holes. He was 15 under par! Completely flabbergasted at this, the saint ran to God & asked how this was possible to reward a priest for skipping mass.

God quietly replied, "Watch, my son".

As the priest got to the 18th hole, a par five, he hit the ball. The wind carried it aloft the full distance to the green where it rolled gently to the cup & went in for a hole in one!

St. Peter was incensed! He turned to the Creator, asking how He could do such a thing - rewarding this priest with a once-in-a-lifetime achievement for committing a blatant sin like skipping mass.

God smiled & said, "Who's he going to tell?"

The Real Debate

I noticed this article by Neil Cavuto while perusing the Fox News website. In it he asks a question that is relevant to almost every American & could mean the difference between happiness or misery in our future.

Gift certificates: Yes or No?

Personally, I'm against them. Not only do they show no thought - the complete opposite of a home-made gift (all thought but you come off as cheap if you're not a master craftsman or a kid) - but you can also screw up where the certificate is from. Friend on a diet? Smooth move getting them that Wendys gift card. Does he or she rent an apartment? Hey, good call on that Lowes certificate, buddy!

Is there a case where I'll buy one? Absolutely. You know those friends/family who, when you ask what they want for Christmas, solemnly reply, "nothing", or something like that? Well, those little impersonators of fence-riding moderates can learn to like a Target gift card! If you're not willing to at least drop me a hint, I'm not going to exhaust myself on something special for you.

***Note: Unless you've made it painfully obvious you can use something.

I know far too many people who go right to the gift card & that shows, IMO, they're either too lazy or don't know anything about the gifted. Of course, guys get a special exception in this whole gift buying thing: women are darn near impossible to shop for.

Which leads me to the big problem with gifting: Women. (That's right, I said it!)

Women, you seem to think dropping a subtle hint in February on how badly you want that 12-in-1 bath set with the lavender bubble bath, scented candles & Godiva chocolates by saying, "I just want to relax", tells the entire world what you want 10 months from now. Well, if you haven't been privy to this little secret by now, let me tell you: MEN. DON'T. TAKE. HINTS!!!

Now, this is not to say we men don't cause our own set of problems. We just don't make people suffer for getting us the wrong thing. Sure, we all have a relative - in my case, my Father - who says, "you don't have to get me anything". Which inevitably leads us to buy them a sweater we found on-sale at JC Penney. Nope, that thing will never see the light of day.

Considering all the crap gift buying forces us to endure, I'm left with only the thought that a gift card at least means the person can get exactly what they want.

And you can't look that gift horse in the mouth.

12/1/07

Some "Religion of Peace"

According to this article in The Sun, protesters want the teacher who allowed her students to name a teddy bear "Mohammed" put to death.

But this is the "religion of peace", right?

Honestly, you can't convince me since the bombing of the barracks in Beirut (1983), the USS Cole attack (1990), the first attack on the WTC (1993) and the attack on 9/11/2001 that the extremists who have taken this religion as their own care one darn bit about peace.

Considering the teddy bear is supposedly named for Theodore Roosevelt, the Rough Rider and president, I can only wonder how he'd respond to such insanity over a namesake bear's name:

Ways Theodore Roosevelt Would Respond to Stupid Protests:
1) Big stick

2) Great White Fleet 2. CVN 71 leads the way.

3) Ride in, guns blazing, showing them how real men settle disputes.

4) "Square Deal" applied to terrorists like corrupt business.

Yeah, Because Prohibition Worked

This, courtesy of the Drudge Report:

Feds consider national ban on selling all candy, soda, fatty food in school vending machines and cafeteria lines... Developing...

I say it's high time! After all, Prohibition worked 100%, which, I'm assuming, is why it was repealed so quickly. People cannot be trusted to control their own bodies & parents definitely have no responsibility to say how their kids are reared. It's government, specifically big government bureaucracy, that can show us all the way to better health & how to follow a shining example of responsibility.

For example, never in the history of government has an elected representative of the people been charged with accepting bribes. No, William Jefferson of Louisiana doesn't count! He's a democrat. Nor has a president ever been charged with impropriety or making false statements.

No, unlike us petty, unwashed masses who are subject to all manner of temptation, the government is steadfast in its morals, unwavering in its dedication to responsible behavior. That's why we should trust them to tell us how to run out lives! I can't imagine a world where I was allowed to think for myself. The thought is too daunting for a feeble-brained person such as myself.

Now, i know it's been a couple generations (eons, in political terms) since Prohibition was enacted/repealed but has our Congress - which has the lowest approval rating in my lifetime - really considered this as a good move?

I'm not the biggest consumer of "junk food" but if you tell me it's illegal to eat a Snickers Dark, someones going to get hurt! Sure, it's just schools...for now. You know how those wacky libs think, though. Soon it'll be all major cities (trans-fat, anyone?) & move on to the smaller ones.

Regulating this kind of crap is 1) exactly what liberals love to do; and 2) exactly what will make people want to do it more. Taking something that's legal & banning is like putting a big red button in someones face & telling them not to push it. You'll be safe in the knowledge they won't - for all of five seconds.

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