In Case Of Emergency

I have a favorite blog post.

Strangely, it's not one of my own - though I'm glad of that fact, since it suggests I'm not nearly so full of myself as I thought. ;-)

I recommend everyone who visits this site - if you've ever had a bad day, been pissed off at someone you care about or even just wondered "what's the point in trying?" - go to this blogger's site & read this short, meaningful story. Even if you only have a minute to spare, I promise it'll be the best minute of your day. The post is that good.

Roses, yet again (my 3rd read), this story has moved me beyond adequate words to describe the feeling. Take a bow, you deserve it.


Dangerous, At Least

***Warning! Horrible pun ahead***

If I wasn't a blogger on this site, would that make it Hap-less?

I am so, so sorry. :-P



I don't know if it was just the rough day at work or everything else going on but I am freaking worn out on life right now.

Oh, I've had a few good days in a row (none bad, to be honest) & I even thought I had run into an old friend from high school (false alarm, as it turns out) but man, something has left me feeling drained...


2 Out Of 3 Ain't Bad

We had three good students test last night in TKD - all brown belts. It was a long test for that level & I'm confident my instructor threw everything at them that was reasonable.

I'm actually going to say I was impressed by all three. I don't think that's ever happened.

One part of the test involved them defending against me touching their head. This was full-speed, open-hand (don't do damage) & they had to successfully block my "attack". Well, the first two did well on the block but forgot the main part of what we teach them: Move. Your. Head. They both got tapped.

The third young man, Alan, DID move his head when he blocked & I never came close to touching him. Bravo! Exactly what he should have done. While I know there are plenty of people faster than me, it's still no small feat for a youth to dodge a full-speed strike from an adult.

As for the rest of test, they're actually ahead of where I was at the same level. Ouch. I'd say forms need a little touching up - OK, cut them some slack, they're still young - and very little else needed work. Self-defense was strong & technique was good for all three.

Not So Frivolous

I'm not normally in favor of lawsuits. In this case, however, I can say it's completely justified.

Congressman Murtha completely stepped over the line in declaring these fine Marines guilty before any evidence was presented towards to assert that accusation. As it turns out, all but one have been exonerated & I'd expect the final Marine will have the charges dismissed as well.

Who has the nerve to declare ANY person serving in our military guilty before evidence is presented? Shouldn't these standard bearers of our great nation be the first to deserve the benefit of the doubt? I would think a former Marine (yes, former - the first time I've heard that applied to any Marine) should be the last one who would presume guilt on serving Marines.

He damn sure owes these men an apology.


Are You Freaking Serious?

Just saw this on Michelle Malkin's site. We're sending $1.1 Billion (with a "B") to Mexico for their effing border security? Hello! How about that huge, gaping hole we have called a border in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona & California? Any one of you clowns in Congress want to think about plugging that sucker up, first?

It's the simplest of rules, people. Even the airlines follow it with oxygen masks: Take care of your emergency situation before you try to bail others out...if for no other reason than you can't help if you're unconscious.

Oh, and in this case, the "person" you're helping with that mask happens to be a habitual drug-dealing, gun-running coyote with a strangulation fetish.

Hey, instead of moving troops down to the border (as we should), why not move all the homes of Congress down there? I'll bet that boundary would be sealed tighter than Ebenezer Scrooge's coin purse in under a month.


My Advice

Lady, I'm sure you were in a hurry when you changed lanes suddenly. I'm even sure that in the shock of seeing my vehicle stop suddenly to avoid becoming part of your driver's seat prevented you from feeling that very slight impact where you rubbed against my bumper (be thankful I reacted quickly, or someone may have been hurt).

However, simply giving me an "Oh my gosh!" face & driving off doesn't cut it. The damage was negligible & I was incredibly decent to you & your father when I finally contacted you (after having to call the police to get your info).

My advice to you is make sure you stop in the unfortunate instance this happens again. The next person might not be so courteous as I was.

Just A Reminder

That my full name makes the best anagram ever!

Harlot's Phenomenal Joy

Whoops! I forgot the link! Thanks, Harvey, for pointing it out.

Next Time, Pick It Up

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization:

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange . When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.

Looking a round, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

By tying this string to the tip of our you know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

Hissstory Channel

Hey, guys at History Channel, or History, whatever you call yourselves now:

Do you have some sort of EEOC quota for people with lisps? Seriously, there's nothing like watching a show about the history of astronomy just to have any serious aspect of it ruined by some disheveled kook with a lisp that would make a drag queen envious.

If you happen to have an extraordinarily gifted scientist, with whom the show can't go on, please, PLEASE find an equally gifted person in the field of public speaking so we don't have to endure that annoying sound of steam escaping.


Workout Schedule

Oh, you'll love this one.

Here's my workout for today:

00:35 - Wii Fit (20 minutes boxing, 15 minutes stepping)

01:00 - Taekwondo - Including sparring with a very talented lady. Great workout!

01:00 - Hapkido - Less intense than TKD for cardio, but still a good workout.

00:40 - Wii Fit (10 minutes boxing, 30 minutes stepping - count was 2982)

By my count, that's 3 hours, 15 minutes I spent exercising today! Man, I feel great & I wish I could do this everyday. I'm sure I won't feel that way in the morning but right now, all the above was completely worth it!

Ninja Gaiden 2 (XBOX 360)

Summary: Most violent game...EVER!

If you have kids, are thinking about having kids or ever have kids at your house DO. NOT. GET. THIS. GAME! It's as violent as I could possibly stand to watch.

Aside from that, it's every bit as good as the first game & the storyline doesn't disappoint. Battles are fast, furious & overly bloody - which is frighteningly realistic with the spectacular graphics. Controls are tighter than that pair of jeans from college you tried to squeeze into last week.

Given all the options (tons of weapons, combos, unlockables, etc.) there's very little chance you could ever get bored with this game. Heck, the nightmares you'll have as a result of the overkill will allow you (unfortunately) take it into your sleep time.

Difficulty. How do I sum this up? Well, the only thing possibly more brutal than the images in this game is the difficulty. These enemies will mess you up. Bad. They don't pull punches, they do a lot of damage & they fight dirtier than a democrat at election time. There's even an "Achievement" awarded for your 100th continue. Yeah, it's that tough.

The camera can mess with you a bit in battles, but it's a minimal issue. I've never had problems when scaling walls or getting around tough obstacles - which is where a camera needs to work. I haven't lost a battle as a result of camera crappiness. I do miss how Ninja Gaiden would let you lock on in the last game. That would help, maybe. Then again, with the sheer number of enemies on screen, it might get you killed that much faster.

Anyway, I do think it's a great game. Nothing, on paper, says it's less-than-perfect. However, the violence will probably be a big turnoff for most people. If it were a movie, I can bet you'd see an NC-17 rating for how retchingly horrific some of the images are.

Wii Fit

Yes, I've got one. Envy me, mere mortals! MWAHAHAHA

It's a great platform, to be honest. If you have the means, I highly suggest picking one up. My favorite is the boxing exercise in the Cardio section. You have 3, 6 & 10-minute intervals (so far) & each one gets faster than the previous. It really gets a sweat going & loosens you up.

All the exercises show you exactly where they're meant to work on your body. And, for you cheaters out there, it CAN tell when you're cheating based on balance - so trying to half-a$$ that yoga pose isn't going to cut it.

Sadly, the thing I should be best at (Balance) is my worst thing by far. If I could bonk those soccer balls or slalom worth a darn, it would make my day. Unfortunately, that's not in the cards. It seems I'm better at taking someones balance than I am at keeping my own.

The sets are: Yoga, Strength, Cardio and Balance. You can also choose an option to do you favorite exercises & even create your own! I'll let you know if that includes kicks but martial arts as a whole probably won't translate too well.

In short: GET IT GET IT GET IT!!!

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