This week on the DL: Special Honorary Member

From www.foxnews.com/oreilly 7-16-2008 the Pinheads and Patriots we have an honorary Leader in the DL list. Introducing John Wiley Price. Incidentally his middle name is from a cartoon character that the Road Runner made famous.

Actual Conversation
Other Commissioner: It sounds like Central Collections has become a black hole. (this commissioner is of a mostly Caucasian persuasion)

JOHN WILEY PRICE, DALLAS COUNTY COMMISSIONER: Can I get an apology from the commissioner? In this day and time, you don't sit around the table where you have diversity and refer to a black hole. (Johnnie is an African American but is apparently not up on his science.)

Other Commissioner: Well, sure I do...

(End of Conversation)...

Black hole is in space. Now John Wiley Price, one of the commissioners who was offended made it worse when he talked to a FOX News reporter.

(Actual Conversation:)

PRICE: If it's angel food cake, it's white. If it's devil's food cake, it's black. If you're the black sheep of the family, then you've got to be bad, you know? White sheep, you're OK. I'm OK if I'm bartering with you, I'm OK. But if I try to Jew you down, oh, is that racist? I thought it meant the same thing. No, maybe it doesn't.

(END Conversation.)
Pinhead doesn't even begin to cover this.

GEEZ. This Educated DL doesn't even know what a "Black Hole" is. I am pretty sure he know what a hole is. uhem. Sorry lord. couldn't resist.

What is next John?

Former - Current
Shell Shock - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Fat - Obese individual with a thyroid disorder beyond his/her control

Bum - Penniless Victim of society

Addict - Drug-addled Victim of society

Hippie - Anti-war protester

Black Hole - Large mass of concentrated matter by which time/space are inverted upon themselves.While it resembles the properties of a "hole", and is, in fact "black" due to the fact not even light can escape its influence, this is not a nomenclature acceptable at the Dallas City Government level.

I urge everyone to contact the Educated Man in Downtown Dallas and explain that a Black Hole has nothing to do with race. Just because John had the brains to leave his contact information on his website with the quote "To his constituents of Dallas County's District 3 he is simply, "Our Man Downtown." shhhheeesh. More like "The Village Idiot."

Call him, Fax him, Write him, Send him Pictures, Someone dig up the old Disney movie, stop by with charts and diagrams of what a Black Hole really is.
Dallas ... you have a commissioner who's communication cannot transcend racism. At the next election ....please tell him where to get off the stage. We would not want him seeing the Black Lights in the wings.

Dallas County Commissioner District No. 3
John Wiley Price411 Elm Street,
2nd Floor Dallas, Texas 75202
PH: 214-653-6671
FAX: 214-653-6622
email: secrb3@dallascounty.org

Congratulations John Wiley Price. You are the King of the DL. This guy is gonna be hard to beat but ya know. I got a funny feeling he will not be sitting on this throne very long.


The DL List - Car Trouble

A DL (Dumb Liberal) pushes his BMW into a gas station. He tells the mechanic it died.
After the Mechanic works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
The DL says, "What's the story?"
The Mechanic replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
The DL asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

Oh how long can I get away with this. This is too easy.


Introducing the DL List

Well apparently in an earlier blogpost our dear friend and founder of this site aptly predectied his demise with a lousy PUN. This site is currently HAPless as he managed to knock himself off the information superhighway. While he is waiting for the Geek Squad to respond to the ID Ten Tee alarm I will do my best to keep you from totally ignoring this web site.

So without further ado.....{drum roll}......
Today July 17th on the year of our Lord 2008 AD. We are ..... well I asked every one here and that's just me We are pleased to present you...
THE DL LIST ta........

Dumb Liberals: ON TRAVEL
Two Dumb Liberals living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one Dumb Liberal says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
The other Dumb Liberal turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ????? "

This is just a pilot program till Hapkido gets back and kicks me off. Hope you enjoy enuff to tell him to keep me on.


Little Johnny vs. Obama Fan-ism

A teacher in Elmira , New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.
Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for ......Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...again.

Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not an Obama fan.'

The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you an Obama fan?'

Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Republican.'

The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mom 's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican.'

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, 'That would make me ......an Obama fan.'


(Possible) Good Call

I've been to the Statue of Liberty before. I've even seen the breathtaking view from the crown (a must in anyone's lifetime). I suppose as a New Yorker, it's pretty much one of those things that can be taken for granted because it's, well, always there in the background of the big city. Standing at the top of those steps as a child, foremost I was stunned by exactly high up it is! Sure, the walk up took a long time but when you're a kid walking two blocks is "forevvvvvvver"! This young fella could have never grasped the concept of being up so high & staring down to certain doom upon a fall.

And then, I looked forward.

I'm sure we've all seen the skyline of New York, New York in photography. My wall is adorned with a picture taken in the 70s - just after the Twin Towers went up (1973, I think) - that was given to me by my parents. This view, however, defied all imagination. A world of activity before you - boats, planes, and the realization that I while cannot grasp in my mind the greatness of America, I can sure enjoy the beauty of it all.

Now, a kid doesn't really appreciate these things as a child. No, it takes time, experiences both home & away from our nation's shores to get even an idea of what one glimpse from that crown really means. Maybe that's where I fell in love with my country - not that I realized at the time - and the idea of just how special this great land is was born in a lad's mind.

The Statue has always been our sentinel on the water. Even when it was closed for repairs (you can't enter the torch anymore) she never lost sight of us. Yes, I'll admit at times I forgot she was ever-present. OK, once in a great while, New Jersey would remind us of the Empire State's most enduring symbol by claiming she's in their waters (yeah? come & get it, Garden Staters!) & briefly the great lady will come back into focus, only to be relegated to the darkness at the back of our minds. We New Yorkers have a complicated & apathetic relationship with her...no wonder she's turned green over the years!

So, upon reading the city may finally re-open the crown & once again offer one of the most amazing views in the world (unless you've summited Everest, don't argue), I find the embers of that memory rekindled and the awe reborn.

When this Statue of Liberty once again is opened to the public, take the trip and go take in what will stand as the most amazing vision in your natural life: America.


Hero: A Definition

For any of you who want an example of a hero, read this story.

I don't think there's a true American out there who would doubt the courage, patriotism & dedication of the "average" Navy SEAL and Petty Officer Michael A. Monsoor's actions set him as an exceptional man among exceptional men.

The fact his fellow SEALs set their Tridents into the top of his coffin offers the proof of how great a man he was.

Happy Independence Day

In honor of the day, I present you with the greatest play in the history of sports:

Rick Monday, you're a true patriot!


K-9s now piss off muslims?? WTH?!?

Ad Featuring Popular Police Pup Sparks Anger in Scottish Muslim Communities

Story here.

"Muslims in the Scottish district of Tayside are outraged by the appearance of a wide-eyed, 6-week-old puppy on postcards distributed by the local police force, according to the Daily Mail.
Postcards showing police dog-in-training Rebel, a German shepherd born in early December, are causing a furor among the region’s Muslims who believe dogs are "ritually unclean," the Daily Mail reports.
The cute cards were meant to notify locals of a new telephone number for non-emergency phone calls but instead have become a flashpoint for a clash of cultures. Shopkeepers are refusing to display the offending ad and a Dundee city councilor is calling for an investigation."

You can't please all the people all of the time. Apparently you cannot please Muslims (at least the pissy ones) any of the time. Hey Ornery Muslim dudes.... I can understand if the dog was pissing on a turban but that clearly was not the case here. There isn't a hidden Quran inside the had for potty training either. They are UNCLEAN.... No CRAP? Notice to all people. These are Police Dogs. YOU DON'T FREAKING EAT THEM!!! If you are not careful they will eat you. So by this one can deduce that our very own McGruff is offensive to Muslims.

To the Tayside Police: MAN UP AND TELL THEM TO STUFF IT. You're the police. Grow a spine and quit bending over backward for the whiners. They keep doing this and making your life miserable because THEY CAN.

Here is the score settler. Let's be fair and Take a vote (via Comments). Majority rules.
Who's for the cute Puppy? Who is not? Vote on Crunch Time.

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