6/26/09

Where in the world is HAP?!?

I am not sure anyone noticed or not but Mr. Hap has been ...missing for a while.

As a joke a while back I sent him a Russian Mail Order Bride catalog.... no I didn't..... and neither did he.
He wanted me to tell you that he DID NOT GO TO ARGENTINA!!!

Last week Hap told me (paraphrased) that he may be going to just about the coolest place he's ever wanted to visit! He said it would be very likely that he will be there by the end of the week. He did not want to ruin the surprise for us all but we'll definitely agree this is one "must see" place in a lifetime.

So he is visiting someplace that most of our readers all want to visit at least once in their lifetimes. I will let your minds wander and please GUESS AWAY. (I got it in three guess ...four if you count one of my associates guessing another location incorrectly as well.)

Rest assured Hap will be back and with some stories and Pics of his gallivanting.

I can't wait! This is gonna be good!

Deep Thoughts: Green Electric Cars

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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Dumb question.

Did anyone stop to think of where we are going to dispose of all the batteries from these Electric Cars? Last I checked they were an environmental hazzard. Some one correct me if I am wrong. The gas powered vehicles are recycleable to the relatively small battery. These Hybrid cars rely more on their batteries than the gas cars. One would expect that in this Green World; batteries would be in higher demand and replaced more often requireing NON-ENVIONMENTAL FRIENDY waste.

Also Carbon Dioxide was something that was reversable. I don't know of anything that reverses Battery Acid into something useable.

I don't know.... the whole thing seems stupid to me. Weaker less effecient cars that do more harm than good replacing better but albeit stinkier cars.

Maria Belen Chapur

I have to wonder about the quality of Eye Care in Argentina and in South Carolina.


Gov. Sanford heads South of the Border in more ways than one and we get rumors of this mystery woman.


Rest assured as I have used my vast investigative resources and intelligence contacts we have hunted down this mystery woman know only as Maria Belen Chapur. But the quote from the media states: "A witness who works near her home described her to Buenos Aires Continental Radio as a beautiful brunette with big eyes who plays tennis on a nearby lawn and runs every morning in her neighborhood."


Like FoxNews States.


We'll Report You Decide.


Deep Thoughts: The King is Dead & Other Random Thoughts

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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The King is Dead. And sympathies to his family and family friends who were real friends not the moochers.

Okay I got that outta the way.
Random thoughts.....
Too much Jesus Juice? The Batteries ran out? Macaulay Culkin wouldn't take a collect call from him?

What ever the cause maybe the Environmentalists can rest easy. We can recycle 90% of him.

Something that is kind of puzzling .... With soooo many wax museums around the country with Jacko as featured display, why couldn't they find the spare parts? Were they already outdated models and incompatible with the Michael Jackson 9.5?
"We can rebuild him. We have the technology." and millions of spare parts.

It's sad really. Now Lady Gaga has to find another potential boyfriend. (That lady reminds me of a guy in drag. eiew.)

I see a conspiracy brewing too.... Heath Ledger played The Joker in one of the best roles of a bad guy yet. Truly one of my favorites. He dies last year. This year the guy who emulated The Joker in real life dies........ I am really concerned.... How is Jack Nicholson doing????

6/11/09

Horse Sense

SEGUIN, TEXAS...

A man is sitting in a bar far from home when Barack Obama comes on TV. The man looks at the TV and says, "Obama is a horse's ass." Out of nowhere, a local jumps up and punches him in the face, knocking the first guy off his bar stool, then stomps out.

He gets up, rubbing his cheek and orders another beer. Shortly after, Michelle Obama appears on the TV. He looks at the TV and says, "She is a horse's ass too!"

Out of nowhere, another local punches him on the other side of the face, knocking him off his bar stool again.

He gets back up and looks at the bartender, "I take it this is Obama country?"

"Nope." replies the bartender. "Horse country."

6/10/09

Dumb Liberal Humor

A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to the place of eternal torment, he saw a democrat making passionate love to a beautiful woman.
"What a ripoff," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity and that democrat gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."
Jabbing the man with his pitchfork, the escorting demon snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punnishment?"

****
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On the way back to through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear," replied the mother. "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said "Here lies a democrat and an honest man."

****
You are trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a democrat. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?

Shoot the democrat. Twice.

****
Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of democrats?

He threatened to release one every hour if his demands wern't met.


:)

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