I Prefer "Rubenesque"

Apparently, by 2015 the vast majority of Americans will be considered "heavy" or "obese" per a Johns Hopkins examination of various studies into those afflicted with big bone-itis.

Sure, a reasonable person might say that the majority of these people have complete control over their weight - that exercising a little discipline in this do-what-you-want culture would help them shed the extra blubber. But that's following reason. Progressives would have us believe that any person with a weight problem is a "victim" of societal pressures. Obviously, this is a culture falling more in love with lawsuits, finger-pointing & woe-is-me lamentations. If the individual cannot be blamed for his/her failings, then it's unquestionably the fault of the social realm.

Using that "logic", we can come to a few other conclusions:

- Crime: Yeah, this one's obviously #1 on the list. Crime isn't caused by criminals, sociopaths or looney, kleptomaniac former-National Security Advisors, it's the blame of you & me. We force them to lie, cheat, steal & do harm. Why not be more considerate of their feelings & look at it from their perspective? Robbers might just need that money to pay for strippers - a noble pursuit if there ever was one. Sociopaths might just be looking for a convenient means of making friends - they're just misunderstood.

- Frivolous Lawsuits: Yepper. Our fault again! You see, when "Butterfingers" McGee a few years back decided to sue McDonalds because she spilled her own coffee in her own lap, she set in motion a righteous declaration that all people have the right to sue others for their own ineptitude. Or how about "Muscles", a fella who sued the maker of a hand-truck strap because they didn't explicitly state said strap could not be used to tie a portable refrigerator to his back - for the purpose of running with it. A sane person might think these people are stupid & should be left to the shallow end of the gene pool. But no, we need to prop them up because we all know nothing in this world is as enduring as stupidity.

- Congress: Not much to say here. They have all the swagger of a 3-card Monty dealer...with the morals to match.

- Child Predators: Yes, technically in the "Crime" category but these deranged examples of humanity are, for some reason that defies any explanation, given special consideration by the kooks at the ACLU, certain judges and progressives in general. Sentences as ludicrous as 60 days probation have been handed down by judges that think justice is not only blind, it is also exceptionally tolerant of people who directly destroy the lives of innocent children. They claim it's a disease & that these "people" deserve treatment instead of punishment. Fine. We can agree there. If convicted, we give them one pill - 100% lead in a .45 dose.

- Race-Card Players: Yes, those wonderful ideologues of the political arena! Very much similar to Congress, these people claim they want to get their constituents ahead in the world though they're the ones who seem to do most of the getting ahead. It's society's fault that OJ was on trial - we're apparently all racist - nevermind the fact two people were murdered in cold blood. Jesse Jackson would never, for example, approach an organization like NASCAR & threaten to file suit for a lack of "racial diversity" in the sport...unless, of course, they're willing to make a
donation to his Rainbow/Push coalition.

- Political Opportunists: The people who love to shoot their mouth off & then "apologize" a week later like they were taken out of context. You know, like a certain, un-named Representative from Minnesota said that 9/11 was like the Reichstag fire in Germany - that it was all engineered to cement the president's power & that president Bush is like Hitler - only to say he didn't mean it about a week later. Well, why not cater to your audience & recant it afterwards? It's called having your cake & eating it too. Which is great. If you're at a birthday party. Say what you mean & mean what you say, people!

- Mets Fans: Sorry, Yankee-bashers. There's no excuse for this! How you can follow a team that so obviously lives in the shadow of the Yanks is beyond me. Though, I will give you credit for taking out the Red Sox in '86. Still, there have been so few reasons for so many people to make this one of baseball's most popular teams that it defies logic...plus, Shea stadium stinks!

- Cubs Fans: Yep. Same thing. But at least the Mets get to the series once in awhile!

- Harry Potter Maniacs: OK, so Potter is everywhere. I will credit J.K. Rowling with creating a delightful series of books & giving children the incentive to read again. That's a great contribution to society. What's not so great is all the people who jam your site (like poor Mrs. Who) with TONS of hits because you jokingly "posted" a Harry Potter spoiler. Obsession is a cologne, not a way of life. The book's out on Friday. Be patient!

- Ack! I used the words "Harry Potter" & "spoiler". Here come the crazies!


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