Prop 'em Up!

A Connecticut senator is asking that the government prop up some failing newspapers in his state. Obviously, there are some concerns about the government owning a stake in supposedly free market reporting agencies (You know that whole, "Congress shall make no law..." statement in the First Amendment). Some people think it's a bad idea for the state to own & influence the media.

"Balderdash", I say! There's plenty of advantages to government being able to push the media around. Let's take a look at the benefits...

Government-owned Media Possibilities:
1) Media lapdogs now required to pander to The Obama. (Instead of just wanting to)

2) Bill Clinton would have cleaned up that darn blue dress!

3) Hillary Clinton shown dodging sniper fire just like in "The Matrix".

4) Blagojevich? Ahmadinejad? Heck the only problem we have is spelling their names.

5) The NYT can keep the Red Sox! (worst team in baseball...Go Yankees!)

6) New "no live feeds" policy for Joe Biden spares embarrassment on all those gaffes.

7) Can report election results without being bothered by those pesky votes.

8) Maybe honest reporting will become an actual requirement...

9) ...except in cases of democrat scandals, of course.

10) They speak truth to power...if Congress passes the bill.


RonnyEngrish said...

Sorry newspaper guys. Not into birds.

What do 'birds' have to do with newspapers you ask?

Because all those rags are good for is catching poop?

The only bailout they need is some ENGRISH LESSONS. IfyaknowwhatImean.

Hapkido said...

I think even discriminating parrots will only use the "editorial" section...

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