8/18/08

The DL Montage with Obama Flair

Roe vs Wade

Back in college, Obama was sitting in class when the professor asked him if he knew what the Roe vs Wade decision was. He sat there for quite a while pondering this very profound question and finally said,"I think that is the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware."

***
Q: What is the difference between a President Obama and a UFO?


A: There have been sightings of UFOs.



***

Q: What do you see when you look directly into Obama's eyes?


A: The back of his head.


***

Q: What do you call Obama behind a steering wheel?


A: An air bag.



***

Ooooo this one is for the nerds....
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside of Obama's head?


A: A Space Invader.



***

Q: What do you call when Obama sits between Condoleezza Rice and Bill O'Reilly?


A: A mental block.



***

Q. What do twenty Dumb Liberals standing ear to ear make?


A. A wind tunnel. (this happens in Congress often)



***

Q. How do you make Obama laugh on Saturday?


A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.


***

Q. How do you confuse a Dumb Liberal? (this one was way too easy)

A. You can't, they have always been like that.





Q. Why is it good to have Obama as a passenger?


A. You get to park in the handicap zone.





Q. What does Obama say when you ask him what the last two words of the national anthem are?


A. Play ball!





Q. What was McCain Doing when he was standing between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama?


A. Interpreting.


Speeding
A police officer stops a Dumb Liberal for speeding and asks him very nicely if he could see the DL's license. The DL replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and now today you expect me to show it to you."





The Thermos
A Dumb Liberal was shopping at K-Mart and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it over to theclerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "why, that's a thermos....it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.""Wow," said the Dumb Liberal, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!" So she took the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss, who is also a Dumb Liberal, saw it on her desk. "What's that?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos...it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"she replied. "What do you have in it?"asked the boss.


"Two popsicles and some coffee"





You know you would think that making fun of Dumb Liberals would have somekind of enjoyable payout. But the more I do this the more I just shake my head.......

3 comments:

Mrs. Who said...

I needed this after the first day of students back at school!

(And I work with some of those DLs, durn it!)

RonnyEngrish said...

There is a Teacher Mrs. Who.
With considerable wisdom to boot
With Conviction and will
And 3 or 4 big pain-pills
A lesson she will get through.

But the student body's not alone
In the "Knowledge Lacking Zone"
With the lib establishment,
Being blind and obstinate,
And Skulls connected to tailbones.

But the knowledge she imparts
With courage and a heart
She keeps our hope alive
Conservatives will survive
Lib delusion will soon depart.

It is early. I need my coffee before I can get the rhythm down right.

I had a 4th grade teacher who was a liberal activist. Her focus was racial but she was a lib through and through. I almost did not survive the fourth grade because when my report card came home....My own mother would correct the spelling and fragment sentences and send it back. I was looking at my mom and thinking ... 'Geez thanks for throwing me under the bus.' That was back then.... Now I am glad she did. I learned to fight for what is right and that even a lib fanatic teacher can be beaten. Oh my fourth grade was harder than any other grade in Elementary school... but it made a conservative out of me and it made me see Libs for what they really are: Foundationless Twits.

Keep sowing the seeds of knowledge. Some day when those kids are older they will either adore you for making them think or they will hate you for making them think. One way or another; a thinking liberal is an endangered liberal. They may see the light.

Someone once told me: If you are not a liberal prior to 30 then you have no heart. BUT if you are not a conservative before 40 then you have no brain.
We must be heartless geniuses (or is that Geniusi).
Hang in there.

RonnyEngrish said...

Oh Mrs. Who. there were other teachers didn't like the Lib activist teacher either. :) I think at last count it was....1,2,3,4,5....no... yeah all of them.

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