8/26/08

The Art of the Out of Office Message

Oh you know when Political correctness has gone too far when you start having staff meetings regarding what is appropriate to place in Out of Office messages.

So then they open it up to questions....heh heh heh To which we intellictual miscrants decided to start examples of what would not be appropriate.

"Would you say that it would be incorrect to use the following as ...yadayada..."

Here are the winners of that list.

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.

If I were in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.

You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

8. I've run away to join a different circus.

9. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.

When I return, please refer to me as Kate instead of Dave.

10. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

Who has a better one? Real or makebelieve we don't care all it has to be is funny.

76 comments:

Hapkido said...

If I could actually figure out how to make the billing process work, I'd definitely implement that.

As a plus, I could be my own hired muscle to collect!

Harvey said...

Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty I am free at last!

Mrs. Who said...

Message? I don't need your stinkin' message.

RonnyEngrish said...

Hap - IF you figure that out let me know. My IRA could use a boost. BTW you still owe me for last month's Friend Tax. heh heh heh.

Harv - Nice. We all 'Have A Dream' - Early Retirement. Like most of these, I think that if I would put that one up it would be about as prophetic as Hap's 'Hapless' blog right before his PC took a leave of absense. I don't look good in 'Pink Slips'. Just have to trust me on that one.

Mrs. Dubya - I like it! Boom. Short and to the point. I read it to Mrs. Engrish and she got a good chuckle out of it too.

All of them good - Thanks to 'My Three Readers.'

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