I've been suffering an internal battle, lately...and not the kind that can be resolved with some fiber or pepto bismol, unfortunately.
The conflict is with, well, conflict. I'm not given to confrontation. It's not fear that has me shy away - after all, if defending myself would ever be a problem, all these martial arts have been a waste of time.
As an example, there's a guy a work, we'll call him Buzzkill, who MUST have his hands in everything: conversation, questions, issues, etc. And it's, frankly, very annoying. He not only puts himself in the middle of everything, he has backhanded comments & insults aplenty for everyone there who is obviously incompetent compared to him. Not to mention his CONSTANT complaining...
Now, I've spoken to my boss about this because talking to this looney toon is beyond pointless. However, the real issue is that it's becoming all about him. The office centers around this emotional terrorist & there's a palpable sense of gloom when he walks in at night. If I'm going to continue working there, this must stop.
Now, the conflict issue: I'm given to extremes in these cases. I've never been able to do anything but give up some ground or blast through in full-blown confrontation. A middle ground, where I don't wind up getting reprimanded by my boss but still let asshat buzzkill know his commentary needs to get lost, would be ideal.
I'm just not very good at the middle ground.
Honestly, I just want to tell him to STFU, stay out of my way & when I need his help, I will ask directly for it. (OK, I really want to go upside his head...which is one of those extremes) The problem is that I want him to get confrontational. I want him to get in my face & ask to take it outside. I'd love nothing more than to translate his emotional torture on us into a physical manifestation of my frustration.
That is plain wrong & to be a decent human being, it must be avoided.
How, then, do I confront this in a dignified manner, even if the antagonist is anything but dignified?