Unfortunate "Epiphany"

Did you ever just sit there and realize that you're just a tool for some people?

I'm by no means perfect, of course, but I do try to give help to people who need it. Unfortunately, I think those same people have become all to used to it.

Look, I'm a young, single person who has some time & a decent amount of money in the bank - I like to help people out instead of being all "me, me, me". Apparently, that's a siren-song for some "friends" that decide the goodness of my heart is exploitable.

And I suppose that's true.

I had friends that needed help moving. No problem, I took a day off of work going into a 3-day weekend & drove, 1000 miles, in a darn uncomfortable truck to help them out. They didn't owe me a thing but they did pay to fly me home - something that was very generous. I figure they're getting a good start & was glad to see them beginning their new life.

Of course, I couldn't tell you how their life has been because they've been incommunicado for the past, oh, 6 months or so. I've tried to call, text, e-mail, etc. Hell, maybe smoke signals or carrier pigeons would work. Funny how they disappear when you're irrelevant, huh?

I won't bore you with any-more trifles. Let's just say I realized tonight, after doing a favor for which I was criticized after following through, that I've been a complete tool for people longer than I care to remember.

I think I started it so people would appreciate/like me more. Of course, that probably didn't help much. People either like you or they don't - favors have very little to do with it. So here I find myself: 33; single; living a life in standby.

Dammit, this sucks.