Interesting "Facts"

A friend sent this to me at work. Since some of the below is untrue, I decided to have a little fun with it.

My comments in italics


VERY INTERESTING STUFF

In the 1400s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat
his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of
thumb"

Can't do much damage with that now, can we? Perhaps we shoulda called that
"rule of wrist"
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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into
the English language.

Women re-write history as they declare "Get Out, Lazy F**ks"
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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and
Wilma Flintstone.

Fred Flintstone later sued NBC for invasion of privacy
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury.

And yet the value of the Monopoly dollar remains strong
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

WHAT?
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Coca-Cola was originally green.

Yeah, and after you drank some of the original, you'd see lots of pretty colors
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

In Hapkido, we can make that possible for others. Plus, the guy who could do that naturally, would get ALL the women!
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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska

The State with the highest percentage of people who HAVE to walk to work:
Alabama - bad edumucation
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%

Yeah, but the other 72% is desert
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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The rest is actually habitable
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400

It's still cheaper than raising a kid for one year!
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The average number of people airborne over the US in any given hour:
61,000

And I'll bet you Al Gore is one of them...headed to a global warming benefit
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

That explains the nice, metallic sheen I have!
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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

First novel written in stone: Ten Commandments
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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

I think you're forgetting about the Clinton National Sperm Bank
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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David - Dead
Hearts - Charlemagne - Also, dead
Clubs -Alexander, the Great - Was kind of messed up. Drank himself to death or poisoned
Diamonds - Julius Caesar - Ouch. Stabby, stabby!
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

1 + 1 = 2
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the
air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air
the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has
all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Total BS. Nice try, though
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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John
Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the
last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

I'll bet that last, indecisive guy was a liberal...
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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

Count me out of that group. Losers.
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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name
requested?

A. Obsession

A close 2nd was "Big Daddy Longstroke"
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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

Or you could just say "a dozen" instead of 12
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

Yep, and you'll need one of them if a woman is angry, on-fire, crying on your car or wants to divorce your sorry butt.
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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

I think Spam is the same way...
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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

Ironically, most of these are to ask for money
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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer
to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

Also used mockingly to torture victims in the Spanish Inquisition
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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar
was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know
today as the honeymoon.

Yeah, cuz the guy needed to drink to cope with his mistake! When he sobered up, the "honeymoon was over"! :-P

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England ,
when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your
pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Funny, I thought that was related to drinking too much beer & messing
yourself on a pool table.

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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used
the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired
by this practice.

A lot of communicable diseases were, too.

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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

Again, see Hapkido...

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I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a
porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?


Yep, we're all retards.