ASPCA Animal Lover Prize

Fresh on the heels of President Barack Hussein Obama (mmm, mmmm, mmmmmm!) winning the Nobel Peace Prize & shocking the world by doing so with under two week's experience AND without any significant accomplishments to further peace in the world, comes another timely choice for an award:

The APSCA World Animal Lover Prize has been awarded to Michael Vick, of the Philadelphia Eagles for his notable accomplishments in expressing his regret for operating Bad Newz Kennels - a now-infamous dogfighting ring.

"Sure, he abused, mistreated and ultimately maimed poor animals", stated the ASPCA spokesperson, "but you have to look at his words since then, which decidedly paints him in the light of a person who regrets what he did because it cost him millions...uh, can we edit that last sentence out?"

Vick, who recently was allowed back into the NFL after being released from prison, obviously was deserving of the prize because, as the ASPCA spokesperson puts it, "While he hasn't actually shown real remorse for his actions, Mr. Vick was overheard saying, 'I'll bet you I never try that sh*t again!' to a fellow Eagles player. This indicates his intention to love animals and thus earned him our coveted award this year".

Other winners of the ASPCA Animal Lover Prize include Britney Spears and rapper DMX.