You can't make this stuff up. Pt. 2

A friend of mine worked for a great company but for ....well a pair of Asshats. They cut down their underlings mercilessly and for some reason their reign of terror still exists to this day. They use mostly temporary help because finding someone to sell their soul for a paycheck that is not in politics is just rare. But sometimes ..... Sometimes the underling is just a little more clever than the Asshat. Okay they are ALWAYS more clever than the Asshat but sometimes the underling is willing to go the distance with the Asshat. My friend reached that level and the following is a VERY TRUE story.

This Asshat Supervisor pair was looking for some way to inspire their underlings to work harder and faster and love them for this 6 grader attempt at team building. They were to create their own award/recognition system for people who bust their butts for statistical superiority or figure out how to manipulate their numbers and work the system as it always goes.

First question I had was: What was the award? Money?, Gift Certificates?, A free lunch at the company cafeteria? a roaming cheap rumagesale trophy?

The profound answer: "Nothing."

Now how profound can "Nothing" be. oh it gets better.

My friend came up with and submitted and the deep and vast wisdom of the Asshats passed this on to the team for a vote. The team also in on the award declared the following the winner:

This is an excerpt from the actual email...

Subject: Revised award program name...

As a team, you provided the suggestions......and as a team you voted.
Now, without further ado.....I would like to introduce the name of our new, revised award program............
and it is.........

The 'Notable Offering To Honor Impressive Numerical Greatness' Award.

Thank you to everyone who participated in the name selection process! Thank you to XNameOmittedToProtectTheGuiltyX as well for suggesting this magnificent name!!!!! I will be providing more specifics regarding our revised awards program at a later time. Stay tuned!!!


They totally missed it.
Notable
Offering
To
Honor
Impressive
Numerical
Greatness award.

Hmmmmm very profound, the reward was a perfect fit.

Why do people not understand that you get what you pay for..........
Unless you steal it from tax payers.


There is only so far I can go with out a political smack.