Black Belt Humility

Even when you think there's plenty of humility in your martial arts career, someone comes along to remind you...

I was working with a very nice lady in class today, who is also a white belt. She has a good attitude, keeps her mind open & listens to the instructors.

She's pretty & kind of looks like Catherine Bell (of JAG fame) but I digress.

We're working on the "statue" drill & I was showing her the footwork needed to coordinate this activity with both hands. Then, a compliment she gave me went horribly awry!

Her: "You're so graceful with those moves. It shows how much you've done this."

Me: "Actually, I haven't done this drill all that much." (Not false modesty. It's true.)

Her: "Oh, well it's obvious you're a trained dancer."

Me: ...

Her: "I'm a good dancer, myself."

Me: "Well, all I really do is Taekwondo..."

OK, ladies, telling a guy he's a good dancer is a compliment. No question about it. Telling a guy he looks like a trained dancer = telling him you question his masculinity. At this point, any guy worth the arrow on that circle will start talking sports, lower his voice an octave & make various grunting noises.

Of course, I was VERY polite - realizing that she's allowed to hit me in class without fear of retribution - and managed to steer the training conversation away from any accusations of me jumping around all nimbly, bimbly.


Mrs. Who said...

*shakes head*

Dear, dear Hap. She finds you SEXY. She was wanting to dance with you.

For god's sake, she was hitting on you!!

We need to talk.

Hapkido said...

Mrs. Who,
Oh, I've considered that possibility. Maybe, maybe not. She was definitely complimentary, but she's very courteous to everyone in the class. I don't like to think I stand out in any way (other than that cool, black uniform. ha ha).

Also, I've been burned before with that whole "she's interested" thought in my head. Not to mention I can't drive & really don't feel like opening up to someone I see in a romantic light about the whole "head" thing. I feel vulnerable in the best of cases & this sure puts a load on my mind.

(Presumptuous, self-sure quip: Of course, who WOULDN'T find me sexy?) :-P

Lastly, there's a fine line to walk when you're an instructor in a self-defense class. Being wrong could mean pushing someone out of a class she wants to take.

Bitterroot said...

I'm sorry to admit I had to Google, because I watch almost NO television and had no idea who Catherine Bell is. Having said that...

HOLY CRAP, MAN! How do you define 'opportunity?'

When a girl who looks like THIS compliments you on your moves, voices her assumption that you must be a good dancer and THEN says:

"I'm a good dancer, myself."

SHE. IS. FLIRTING. WITH. YOU! That was practically an invitation, for pete's sake!!

Gah! [slaps forehead]

And I understand the instructor-student barrier. But you know you can totally keep her from kicking your butt... For a while, at least! ;)

RonnyEngrish said...

Ronny Engrish to CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!! HELLO!!! Fer GAWDS SAKE MAN!!! She was diggin you!! [Jumping around like Favre threw a bad interception. again.]

I Ronny Engrish, in my vast experience as a super-spy agent have come to the acquaintance of quite a few female operatives and I shall divulge a few of the lessons that I have learned. Sometimes from breaking said rules but lets not go there.

Rule #1. Maintain your Cool. Stay composed.

Rule #2 The only time you break rule #1 is if in sparring, she uses a throw move in which she "accidentally" grabs your nether parts. Then scream like a girl. That hurts! Be warned, she may be into that rough stuff. After all you are both in a Martial Arts class.

Rule #3 If a girl asks you to dance...you better know how to dance. This does not mean: Tap, Jazzercise, River Dance or ....uh hem Ballet.
Dancing is a safe excuse to invade another person's personal space. It is kinda kinky but in a good kinda way.

Rule #4 SHE'S HOT DUDE! You gotta know for sure. If it is her saying "no" that you are afraid of, Sorry man get over it. Brush it off and thank the Gods that the women in your life before said no because then you would not have the opportunity that is before you now.

Rule #5 Don't rush. BUT DON'T DINK AROUND EITHER! Pay attention to her. Notice when she changes her hair or something but be subtle. "Did you do something different with your hair?"
"Why Yes." (Unless it is a Mohawk) use the same response if she says "No." then say "Hmmm." then look at her (from the neck up son - we aren't going there yet). Then smile and say: "Looks nice." Then move on to the next topic. Chicks dig compliments on their looks.

Rule #5 Moderation. Moderation. Moderation. This ties into Rule #1.

Rule #6 Humor is a good thing but only if it does not break Rule #1 or Rule #5.

Rule #7 Be yourself. but only if it does not break Rule #1 or Rule #5.

Rule #8 You're right. You're not perfect. Guess what? Neither is she. Relationships don't ever "Just happen" It is not magic. It is work. You worry about being a good you and that is all you can do. Find things to appreciate about her and let her know what they are ...... when appropriate.

Hap. She is digging you. A blind man can see that. She may just be curious so far, but rest assured she does not think you are Mikhail Baryshnikov, or Gregory Hines. (I had to Google that one.)

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