Reverse Gear

I feel so backed against a wall right now.

Just got the rent renewal for my apartment - it's $120 more a month. Oh, but they'll give us $200 off the 1st month if we hurry & sign. Yeah, really. They're not giving us anything, just taking a little less.

Work is just stressful right now. It seems I bust my butt, accomplish what's set before me & then, somehow, one mistake - something inane & trivial - becomes the focus of my boss. He's a great boss but it makes me feel like an idiot. I'd understand if it was a world buster but we're talking a whoops-let-me-fix-that-real-quick kind of error.

I can't even seem to get into class. I bought my gear for Arnis yesterday morning just to realize I forgot my license & couldn't drive home & make class ontime. I really needed that stress reliever yesterday.

Of course, to add to it all, I pinched a nerve on the left side of my body & the resulting loss of strength (& a little numbness) is pissing me off to no end. It's reminding me that I can't do the stuff I love while it's there.

I just want to quit my job, move to SC & be done with this crap. This place isn't doing me any favors, I'm feeling trapped & I can't seem to catch the break I so desperately need. I don't want to pay more for my same apartment, I'm sick of one trivial mistake being a cause for concern & I cannot handle that my real support mechanism - something I love so much - seems to be slowly seeping away from my life.

I feel sick!


_Jon said...

You bring into your life those things that you focus upon.

In order to prevent unwanted things - and achieve wanted things - you need to focus on what you want.

Here are some specific things to do that are so simple and repetitive that most people don't do them. But as a martial arts guy, I trust that you understand how important the basic, repetitive things are.

Make lists of things you appreciate. Every.day.

- Get a notebook.
- On the inside cover write: "Book of Positive Aspects".
- On the first page, write the current date at the top.
- Below that write "3 things I am grateful for in my health".
- Below that, write those three things out. 1. 2. 3.
- Below that, draw a line.
- Write; "3 things I am grateful for about myself".
- Write them out. 1. 2. 3.
- Draw a line.
- Write: 3 things I am grateful for about my job".
- Write them out: 1. 2. 3.
- Close the notebook and go about your day.
- The next day, repeat. You can write the same nine things, about the same three topics, or you can change any or all. It is up to you - it depends upon your desired focus.

But it is important that you do this every day. It doesn't take long. It seems so simple, doesn't it? It seems like such a 'boring' task, doesn't it? Yet your entire existence is built upon such small, mundane, repetitive tasks, isn't it? Your cells do their work without variety. Your muscles, your stomach - all the same job, every day, all day. That focus is the key to their success. Same with you.

I'll briefly explain why this works, so that you can expand it yourself.

When you focus on the things you appreciate - the things you are grateful for - you put energy there. And, as is the nature of the Universe, where some energy goes, more energy goes. So as you focus on the good - by being grateful for it - you will bring more of that 'good' into your life.

It is a simple concept and a simple action. Too simple for most people. It's not too simple for you though, is it?

The choice is yours. It always is.
You will know this is working, because your life will get better. Most importantly, your attitude about your life will get better. And feeling good about your life is priceless.

(I've learned these things from other people. I can point you to them when you find it works for you, so you can learn more.)

Mrs. Who said...

What _jon said. And actually, Hap, you've said some pretty similar stuff to me in the past. Sometimes the hardest part of moving on is the first step. But you can do it. I know you can. I can't go 'cougar' on you otherwise. j/k!!!!!!!

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