Reverse Gear

I feel so backed against a wall right now.

Just got the rent renewal for my apartment - it's $120 more a month. Oh, but they'll give us $200 off the 1st month if we hurry & sign. Yeah, really. They're not giving us anything, just taking a little less.

Work is just stressful right now. It seems I bust my butt, accomplish what's set before me & then, somehow, one mistake - something inane & trivial - becomes the focus of my boss. He's a great boss but it makes me feel like an idiot. I'd understand if it was a world buster but we're talking a whoops-let-me-fix-that-real-quick kind of error.

I can't even seem to get into class. I bought my gear for Arnis yesterday morning just to realize I forgot my license & couldn't drive home & make class ontime. I really needed that stress reliever yesterday.

Of course, to add to it all, I pinched a nerve on the left side of my body & the resulting loss of strength (& a little numbness) is pissing me off to no end. It's reminding me that I can't do the stuff I love while it's there.

I just want to quit my job, move to SC & be done with this crap. This place isn't doing me any favors, I'm feeling trapped & I can't seem to catch the break I so desperately need. I don't want to pay more for my same apartment, I'm sick of one trivial mistake being a cause for concern & I cannot handle that my real support mechanism - something I love so much - seems to be slowly seeping away from my life.

I feel sick!

Really? Mine Too!

A cowboy is driving down a back road in Texas . A sign in front of a restaurant reads:

HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL
Lobster Tail and Beer

'Lord almighty' he says to himself, 'my three favorite things!!'

Inside Info

I managed to get a hold of the 2008 DNC National Convention itinerary. Don't ask me how - some things are better left undiscovered.

I can't say there are really any surprises here but I figured you all would like to know what's going on from the left side of the aisle insanity.

2008 Democrat National Convention

Schedule of Events

7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING

7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N.

7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton

7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah

7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:00 pm HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore

8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell

8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:40 pm OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry

9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:05 pm COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY - Sean Penn

11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:50 pm HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean

12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am NOMINATION OF HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON - Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

1:05 am CORONATION OF HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON

1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home

I Swear

I actually forgot about a really good blog. Fortunately, Harvey of Bad Example tagged _Jon of We Swear in a meme, which reminded me of this great site!

I first learned of _Jon when he commented on my site & asked Harvey if _Jon had a blog. Well, he didn't at the time but Harvey apparently convinced him to start one up & We Swear is the result. It's an enjoyable site with some serious, some humor & all of it worth your time.

Check it out. You won't be disappointed.

Presto PopLite

Product: Hot Air Popper
Where: Wal-Mart
Cost: $16.75 + tax

I picked up this little baby at Wal-Mart a couple days ago. In the back of my head, all I could think was how B-A-D air poppers have been in the past. You get stale popcorn & sometimes it burns, etc. Just crappy.

However, when I first used this one, the result was nice, fluffy popcorn! It takes about 3 minutes to get about a gallon of popcorn & the butter melting cup lets you get multi-task - as is so popular these days.

If you're looking for a far better alternative to microwaved crappy popcorn, this is your product. It's cheaper in the long run & much better for you. Give this one a shot.

Pretty Much Like It Says

In Case You Need A Laugh

Two guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87 year old said "Well, I eat Jewish rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.

He said, "Do you have any Jewish rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it . Would you like some?"

He said, "I want 5 loaves ".

She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves...by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard"

He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this but me.

Here's Some Perspective

Here's Earth & the other terrestrial planets (yeah, lay off on the Pluto debate!):


Now, here's the planets of the solar system - to scale:


Continuing, we have the planets in scale to the Sun:


Feeling small yet? Just wait - we're only getting started:


Well, the last one was humbling, but that's nothing compared to the next scale:


Keep in mind that Antares isn't even the largest star in the sky. That honor goes to Canis Majoris - about 1800 to 2100 times the size of Sol.

It's pretty humbling isn't it? I guess when you see this in comparison to Earth, it makes us seem so small & insignificant.

So Close...

And yet so, so far.

I got a call from a company in South Carolina interested in doing an interview. I'm thinking, "at least it's a step in the right direction". Here, I have an opportunity to get down there (FINALLY) & be rid of this horrible, horrible winter weather.

Until they found out how much I made.

Yeah, not much of a response from those guys on that. Sure, I'm not pulling down 6-figures but I make OK money. I guess it's just a little to "OK" for their tastes.

It's not that I want to move in the middle of winter, necessarily, but I really was hoping this would be my chance to get out of here & back to where my family, decent people & humane weather all exist in one place. In the meantime, I guess I'll have to settle for one out of three (thanks to the TKD/HKD guys for being that "one").

Here's me for the next few months (click to view):

Sinking Feeling?

Students were assigned to read two books, "Titanic" and "My Life", by Bill Clinton. One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His professor had a sense of humor and gave the student an A for his report.

TITANIC vs. MY LIFE
Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over three hours to read
Clinton: Over three hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn't remember jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica.. ooh, let's not go there either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary... basically the same thing

Sexism

One thing I really don't like about this presidential race is how race & gender are playing such a large part in politics.

Now, for my part, I want the best candidate to win. If that's a woman - and in Hillary's case, it isn't - she should be elected. I don't think race & gender should be a factor. Which is why things like this make me so darn mad. So what if Oprah Winfrey supports Barack Obama? She has the right to endorse the Geico gecko if she wants. Does that mean she's a traitor to the AFLAC duck?

The fact people get so excited about someone being "the first..." shows how far we have to go in terms of viewing people as, well, just PEOPLE! To me, it's patronizing. It's like treating someone as an "inferior" who just managed to pull out a miracle. How, in America - the land of opportunity - could that ever be the case?

A person should be elected on his or her merits - not skin color, ancestry, gender or (especially) nepotism. While I realize that last one dings Hillary Clinton because she's really only running on her association to Bill Clinton, it's fair to say she's not running on any other platform as she's sealed her records from the White House years.

While I do not support Barack Obama for POTUS, I think he's a charismatic individual who presents himself incredibly well. He's running on his record & intentions, so I can't argue with his candidacy. He's too liberal for my tastes but still a reasonable candidate.

My point is that voting for a woman because she's a woman is every bit as sexist as voting for a man because he's a man. It makes no sense. It's like picking the school bully for class president: Sure, you avoid that one wedgie by appeasing him/her but the electoral wedgie you'll be getting isn't worth offering your blind obedience.

Book Game

I got this one off Mrs. Who's site & it looked fun, so I gave it a go. The rules are simple:

1) Grab the nearest book

2) Open said book to page 123 - if you're a liberal, comic books don't often go that high.

3) Find the 5th sentence

4) Post sentences 5, 6 & 7 on your site, along with these directions (because Mrs. Who says so!)

5) Be realistic. Just because you have that Sarte book (that you haven't touched since college) doesn't mean you should use it to convince people how "deep" you are. Grab the closest book!


Here's my selection:

"The [Secular-Progressive] spearhead knew exactly what it wanted to achieve when it marched into Carmen Dixon's life: that is, a court ruling demonstrating that a parent has no right to supervise a child surreptitiously. For the secular-progressive movement to achieve its goals in America, it must undermine traditional parental authority and convince children there's a brave new world out there that does not include being raised in the traditional way. The [Secular-Progressive] goal is to diminish parental authority that, in the past, had been unquestioned".

"Culture Warrior", by Bill O'Reilly, in reference to Christensen v. State of Washington where a mother eavesdropped on her teenage daughter. What can I say? I'm a bit of a political nerd.

Apt, I Tell You!

If there ever was a great analogy, this is it...

In a news conference Deanna Favre announced she will be the starting QB for the Packers this coming Sunday. Deanna asserts that she is qualified to be starting QB because she has spent the past 16 years married to Brett while he played QB for the Packers.

During this period of time she became familiar with the definition of a corner blitz, and is now completely comfortable with other terminology of the Packers offense. A survey of Packers fans shows that 50% of those polled supported the move.

Does this sounds idiotic and unbelievable to you? Well, Hillary Clinton makes the same claims as to why she is qualified to be President and 50% of democrats polled agreed. She has never run a City, County, or State.

When told Hillary Clinton has experience because she has 8 years in the White House, Dick Morris stated "so has the pastry chef".

Germans vs Arabs

Teachings From Genesis

Since We're Being PC...

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred
to as "HILLBILLIES."

You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.


In the same vein, there are also euphemisms for other people:

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

3. She is not a "DUMB BLOND" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

5 . She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER OF HORIZONTAL SERVICES."



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

6. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

Hope You Brought Protection

In case the horrible event of Hillary getting elected comes to pass, we need to brace ourselves.

Here's a video to demonstrate what it'll be like:

Happy New Year

I want to wish all of you a Happy New Year!

There are some people in the blogosphere who deserve to be named:

Harvey, of Bad Example: Thanks for getting me started in blogging!

Roses, of Ack! Thbbbt: Your stories have been an inspiration since I first found your site.

And of course Mrs. Who, of House of Zathras: You're a great friend who listens, takes time for others (thanks for reading that essay) & always has something to say about my posts.

All of you out there have a great & Happy New Year!