For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.
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What is going to happen to Plastic Surgery if nObama gets a hold of it.
Or WORSE YET!!!!!!
Eiew......
8/24/09
Deep Thoughts: nObama Care and Plastic Surgery
For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.
Or WORSE YET!!!!!!
Eiew......
8/22/09
Deep Thoughts - Typos
For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.
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It occurs to me that the letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard.
This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending an email with the phrase "Regards" again.
hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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It occurs to me that the letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard.
This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending an email with the phrase "Regards" again.
hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
8/21/09
Deep Thoughts: Is that wrong?
For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.
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An internet friend of mine sent me this joke......and it got me thinking.
**** Joke****
Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.
In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white he called his doctor and told him of his problem.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.
Barack drank the concoction and replied, 'That tasted like bullcrap!'
The doctor replied, 'It was, you were a quart low.'
***********end of joke***********
So is that really racist being that nObama is half caucasian? I'm not sure wether to half laugh or half rebuke my internet friend. Then I had to think again .... Does it count that the friend is a African American? Or would it count that he was a Conservative African American.
Being PC is so freaking impossible.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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An internet friend of mine sent me this joke......and it got me thinking.
**** Joke****
Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.
In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white he called his doctor and told him of his problem.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.
Barack drank the concoction and replied, 'That tasted like bullcrap!'
The doctor replied, 'It was, you were a quart low.'
***********end of joke***********
So is that really racist being that nObama is half caucasian? I'm not sure wether to half laugh or half rebuke my internet friend. Then I had to think again .... Does it count that the friend is a African American? Or would it count that he was a Conservative African American.
Being PC is so freaking impossible.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
8/20/09
Cash For Codgers
JUST IN.....
Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.
President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named.....
"CASH FOR CODGERS".......
and it works like this..... Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers
will garner the highest amounts.
Special "Bonuses"......will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and
ANY member of the Republican Party.
Smaller bonuses......will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, ice cream or other dairy products, bacon, or Girl Scout Cookies.
All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.
Remember....... You heard it here first.....
Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.
President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named.....
"CASH FOR CODGERS".......
and it works like this..... Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers
will garner the highest amounts.
Special "Bonuses"......will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and
ANY member of the Republican Party.
Smaller bonuses......will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, ice cream or other dairy products, bacon, or Girl Scout Cookies.
All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.
Remember....... You heard it here first.....
8/7/09
Sleepytime Fun
Old Fart Football!!! **this was sent to me by Mrs. Engrish. ....don't get any ideas Mrs. Engrish or it's to the couch.**
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replied, 'It's fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says 'Touchdown, tie score.'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.'
Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable,he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the heck was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides."
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replied, 'It's fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says 'Touchdown, tie score.'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.'
Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable,he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the heck was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides."
Simple Science at Work
New Element Discovered (From an internet friend)
Scientists have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 Czar neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Scientists have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 Czar neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
8/5/09
Deep Thoughts: Teamwork
For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.
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Is it really called "Bipartisan if it is just a massive orgy of Democrat Liberals and Communists?
Hmmmmmmm.........
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Is it really called "Bipartisan if it is just a massive orgy of Democrat Liberals and Communists?
Hmmmmmmm.........
8/2/09
Moral Question
I was at the barn, with Miss Hammy, a few days ago & one of the cats had caught a small (chickadee, I think) bird. The feline was in the "playing" stage of the kill & hadn't yet caused any lasting damage.
When the kitty set the bird down in preparation for the festivities, I stepped in, shooed the cat away & picked up the bird (with a glove - wild birds can have parasites). We brought her over to a tree a ways off & she hopped up to a branch & flew away.
The question: Do you save the bird or let nature take its course?
When the kitty set the bird down in preparation for the festivities, I stepped in, shooed the cat away & picked up the bird (with a glove - wild birds can have parasites). We brought her over to a tree a ways off & she hopped up to a branch & flew away.
The question: Do you save the bird or let nature take its course?
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