I guess I can give the ladies a little gender-appropriate humor. Heck, most of the below is true, anyway...
1. Men are like Laxatives... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like Bananas... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather… Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders… You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like Government Bonds... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like Mascara… They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms.... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots… All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
3/30/08
3/27/08
Political Controversy
OK, I'm staring one of my own. First, I'd like to give credit to Mrs. Who of House of Zathras for her advice on this post. She reviewed it to make sure no bias* (intended or otherwise) creeped into what I'm about to suggest...
*Disclaimer: Only the party suggestions are intended to be bias-free. The rest is free for me, baby!
I'm not sure how many of you (as I do) believe that our political parties just aren't serving us as a nation. C'mon, you can't convince me Senator McCain is a conservative any more than you could convince me that Al Sharpton cares about anyone other than Al Sharpton. All the candidates - heck all of our federal elected officials - seem more interested in their political power than the legitimate issues that affect all Americans. For me, I care about national security; less government involvement in our lives and businesses; and reducing government spending on ridiculous pork (pet projects, sacrilegious "art", etc).
Now, I'm not proposing a direct way of fixing the above. Let's face it, I'm just not that smart. What I am putting forth is that, given the increasingly pale colors of our two major political parties, it's impossible to tell towards what direction a candidate leans & thus equally impossible to discern how he or she will stand on the concerns of constituents. The parties are broken, antiquated and simply do not address the scope of modern politics - namely the contrast between traditional & progressive ideals.
Now, it won't surprise any of my readers that I'm heavily in the traditional camp - I'm conservative, a veteran & believe that America is a force for good in this world because we are a moral, benevolent society. However, you don't have to be conservative to be traditional. Senator Lieberman is a liberal, to be sure, and he is also a firm believer that America is a noble country. These values are NOT contradictory. I firmly believe that the average liberal & conservative love this great nation very much & from this, we have our common ground.
And so, I give you the:
Traditional Party:
It doesn't matter if you're liberal, conservative or moderate.
The Traditional party believes in America as a force for good in the world - a country that serves as an example to other nations of freedom. We are one nation under God & the Founding Fathers set an incredibly high standard to which we, as honorable Americans, will strive to achieve. To be sure, that is a difficult standard and we recognize mankind must have ideals towards which we aspire. America is a beacon of freedom & example to the world of how unlimited is our potential.
We believe in a strong, capable military. One that is a volunteer force, well-respected & necessary for the defense of America. Our military will protect our nation's interests be it through armed conflict or providing assistance & comfort to our allies. The government is to provide for the common defense, as mandated by our Constitution, our military will be well-funded.
Government is beholden to the people. The people determine in what direction government moves & citizens deserve a limited, frugal government based upon the Framers' original intent.
We believe in a clear definition of right and wrong. Laws are there for the benefit of the people & can be changed by the will of the people. Existing laws - based on absolute morality - and their enforcement defines a healthy country. Justice is best served when the punishment is appropriate to the offense. {END}
Of course, with our country based on a two-party system, we can't have only one. No, that just wouldn't do. There are Americans who share differing beliefs than those listed above. I want to be clear here: I don't think just because you don't agree with the vision of the founders and/or don't want God mentioned in the public arena that you're a bad person or un-American. We're allowed to disagree and that's the whole point of debate.
That debate needs to be honest, however, and that's where the alternative political party comes in. There should be representation for those who hold a progressive vision for the United States.
And thus, we have the:
Progressive party:
America is a prosperous nation that should share that prosperity across all its citizenry. This is to benefit all of society as a whole. Europe, a collection of nations our from which our ancestors expatriated - due to religious & political persecution - governs upon these principles & has existed for hundreds of years. Social programs should be instituted to ensure the most prosperous provide opportunity to the less-fortunate.
The Constitution prohibits a state-endorsed religion. We believe that while privately-held beliefs are in the spirit of American values, these same beliefs need not be a part of governing the nation. Religious references shall be exempted from the public circle so as to prevent an (intentional or inadvertent) endorsement of religious belief.
Education is at the forefront of a prosperous society. To better ensure our future generations enjoy a competitive advantage, the state should provide a fair standard upon which all children will be taught. An elective curriculum should be afforded to all students so they may best determine their path of development. The government will provide this educational improvement from its own revenues.
Society should be nurturing to all of its citizenry and to those who aspire towards eventual citizenship. America is an open-minded and compassionate place that seeks to help those who are in need; be it financial misfortune or legal difficulties. People shall have every opportunity to become productive members of society. This is best accomplished through a system of restorative justice - one that focuses on healing the individual instead of punitive measures.
Medical care should be universal and for the people, by the people. No one should be without access to affordable, practical health care. It is the responsibility of government to provide for it's citizens and ensure a national standard of health.
We support our military in its mission. Our men and women in uniform serve us best by maintaining a strong domestic presence, thereby demonstrating to the world America's commitment to peaceable international relations.
The United States should further an international policy of prosperity by participating in a global economy. The bounty of this nation can serve to aid those states that are economically impoverished and bring about an end to global conflict by way of this shared prosperity. {END}
(Thanks to Bill O'Reilly for his excellent book "Culture Warrior" for inspiring the above parties & issues)
I think it's obvious which party would have the most members - as I can't think most Americans buy into the progressive ideals above - however, I'm looking at it from the eyes of a traditional thinker.
The above frames the common issues we face in American society today. As I stated earlier, conservative & liberal just don't quite cut it for political debate anymore. If you need any more proof, look at the three major political candidates running for POTUS: all are completely similar with the exception of one who supports the war in Iraq - hardly delineated along party lines, wouldn't you agree?
*Disclaimer: Only the party suggestions are intended to be bias-free. The rest is free for me, baby!
I'm not sure how many of you (as I do) believe that our political parties just aren't serving us as a nation. C'mon, you can't convince me Senator McCain is a conservative any more than you could convince me that Al Sharpton cares about anyone other than Al Sharpton. All the candidates - heck all of our federal elected officials - seem more interested in their political power than the legitimate issues that affect all Americans. For me, I care about national security; less government involvement in our lives and businesses; and reducing government spending on ridiculous pork (pet projects, sacrilegious "art", etc).
Now, I'm not proposing a direct way of fixing the above. Let's face it, I'm just not that smart. What I am putting forth is that, given the increasingly pale colors of our two major political parties, it's impossible to tell towards what direction a candidate leans & thus equally impossible to discern how he or she will stand on the concerns of constituents. The parties are broken, antiquated and simply do not address the scope of modern politics - namely the contrast between traditional & progressive ideals.
Now, it won't surprise any of my readers that I'm heavily in the traditional camp - I'm conservative, a veteran & believe that America is a force for good in this world because we are a moral, benevolent society. However, you don't have to be conservative to be traditional. Senator Lieberman is a liberal, to be sure, and he is also a firm believer that America is a noble country. These values are NOT contradictory. I firmly believe that the average liberal & conservative love this great nation very much & from this, we have our common ground.
And so, I give you the:
Traditional Party:
It doesn't matter if you're liberal, conservative or moderate.
The Traditional party believes in America as a force for good in the world - a country that serves as an example to other nations of freedom. We are one nation under God & the Founding Fathers set an incredibly high standard to which we, as honorable Americans, will strive to achieve. To be sure, that is a difficult standard and we recognize mankind must have ideals towards which we aspire. America is a beacon of freedom & example to the world of how unlimited is our potential.
We believe in a strong, capable military. One that is a volunteer force, well-respected & necessary for the defense of America. Our military will protect our nation's interests be it through armed conflict or providing assistance & comfort to our allies. The government is to provide for the common defense, as mandated by our Constitution, our military will be well-funded.
Government is beholden to the people. The people determine in what direction government moves & citizens deserve a limited, frugal government based upon the Framers' original intent.
We believe in a clear definition of right and wrong. Laws are there for the benefit of the people & can be changed by the will of the people. Existing laws - based on absolute morality - and their enforcement defines a healthy country. Justice is best served when the punishment is appropriate to the offense. {END}
Of course, with our country based on a two-party system, we can't have only one. No, that just wouldn't do. There are Americans who share differing beliefs than those listed above. I want to be clear here: I don't think just because you don't agree with the vision of the founders and/or don't want God mentioned in the public arena that you're a bad person or un-American. We're allowed to disagree and that's the whole point of debate.
That debate needs to be honest, however, and that's where the alternative political party comes in. There should be representation for those who hold a progressive vision for the United States.
And thus, we have the:
Progressive party:
America is a prosperous nation that should share that prosperity across all its citizenry. This is to benefit all of society as a whole. Europe, a collection of nations our from which our ancestors expatriated - due to religious & political persecution - governs upon these principles & has existed for hundreds of years. Social programs should be instituted to ensure the most prosperous provide opportunity to the less-fortunate.
The Constitution prohibits a state-endorsed religion. We believe that while privately-held beliefs are in the spirit of American values, these same beliefs need not be a part of governing the nation. Religious references shall be exempted from the public circle so as to prevent an (intentional or inadvertent) endorsement of religious belief.
Education is at the forefront of a prosperous society. To better ensure our future generations enjoy a competitive advantage, the state should provide a fair standard upon which all children will be taught. An elective curriculum should be afforded to all students so they may best determine their path of development. The government will provide this educational improvement from its own revenues.
Society should be nurturing to all of its citizenry and to those who aspire towards eventual citizenship. America is an open-minded and compassionate place that seeks to help those who are in need; be it financial misfortune or legal difficulties. People shall have every opportunity to become productive members of society. This is best accomplished through a system of restorative justice - one that focuses on healing the individual instead of punitive measures.
Medical care should be universal and for the people, by the people. No one should be without access to affordable, practical health care. It is the responsibility of government to provide for it's citizens and ensure a national standard of health.
We support our military in its mission. Our men and women in uniform serve us best by maintaining a strong domestic presence, thereby demonstrating to the world America's commitment to peaceable international relations.
The United States should further an international policy of prosperity by participating in a global economy. The bounty of this nation can serve to aid those states that are economically impoverished and bring about an end to global conflict by way of this shared prosperity. {END}
(Thanks to Bill O'Reilly for his excellent book "Culture Warrior" for inspiring the above parties & issues)
I think it's obvious which party would have the most members - as I can't think most Americans buy into the progressive ideals above - however, I'm looking at it from the eyes of a traditional thinker.
The above frames the common issues we face in American society today. As I stated earlier, conservative & liberal just don't quite cut it for political debate anymore. If you need any more proof, look at the three major political candidates running for POTUS: all are completely similar with the exception of one who supports the war in Iraq - hardly delineated along party lines, wouldn't you agree?
Yeah, I'm Back
After enduring the horror of sunny, 70-degree days with my family & driving around in Dad's 1965 Pontiac GTO Post coupe (with 389 removed & 467 added), I'm back in the land of corn, pigs & bone-chilling weather.
Uh, don't I have another vacation coming up soon?
Uh, don't I have another vacation coming up soon?
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