Part 4 - Recovery

Just a quick update.

I got out of the hospital today. Typing is tough with the right hand.

Doing well, though. Thanks to all of you who kept me in your thoughts & prayers.

Part 3.5

For all of you who are keeping tabs on Hap's progress.. I got word Wednesday that 'He's out and doing fine.'
He has not made an appearance on HapkidoCrunchTime yet but I anticipate that is to come shortly.

Part 3 - Update

Quite a few calls today, many not at all pleasant.

First, the ones that mean something:
There's a pre-op scheduled for tomorrow, 9/16, at 0700. Just getting things ready at this point.

The actual "opening" is 9/17 after a 0630 MRI.

Updates will come as soon as possible.

Now, the crap I could have done without...
1) Hospital called asking for deductible payment. Nice, jerks. You'll get your freaking money.

2) Work called to inform me I'm on disability - no surprise there - AND that I won't be paid for the 1st 5 days I'm off unless I burn vacation. I have 1 day left & 1 floating holiday. Really, morons, don't you think I have more pressing issues on my mind (sorry)?

On the above 2, you'd think both parties would show some tact & wait until things were settled down a bit. At least there's no rush getting back to work - I have 5 weeks of disability & should only have to use 3 at the most.

Part 2 - Diagnosis

The last 2 days were spent in the hospital, undergoing various tests...drawing blood (ouch), taking temperature & blood pressure (all good) & undergoing an MRI.

Now, the MRI is the big news here, so let me put the results out there: Yes, there is a benign growth (non-cancerous, thankfully) on the membrane surrounding the brain that is pressing in between the frontal & parietal lobes on the left side. This is what caused the seizure & it's removal should pretty well fix everything.

Fortunately, this growth is not "inside" the brain, instead it's pressing on it & as such will require no intrusion into those sensitive parts. The neurosurgeon has informed me the surgery (this Wednesday, 9/17) will take about 3-4 hours, will be sealed with staples & has less than 2% chance of complications. Given the nature of things, I'll take those odds any day. The staples should come out 10 days later & I guess all that's left is finding out how long I'll be on meds.

On the lighter side of things, any of you out there who think I need to have my head examined, you're about to get your wish... (hey, it's scary, I've got to get my humor in where I can).

Thanks again to all of my friends & family who are with me in body & soul. Your thoughts mean the world to me & you all have my promise that Hap is a fighter - he's sticking around for another 50 or 60 years...

Part 1 - Seizure

I was having a great time on my 2-week vacation in SC. We just got home from the store (I was driving) & walked up the steps to the house.

Something felt a little weird for a moment...I couldn't release the keys from my right hand & when I reached over with my left hand to grab them, I realized there was no feeling on the right arm.

That's when everything went tense & I managed to get the words out: "Something isn't right here!" before falling down in a really bad fit. This was definitely a first for me...

I woke up 5-minutes later to paramedics over me with an oxygen mask asking me questions. All I could do was ask myself if i had been driving. Thankfully, I remembered I wasn't & everyone was OK.

A few minutes later, we arrived at the hospital for a C/T scan & an x-ray. Nothing of note on the x-ray and the C/T showed a "significant mass" on the left hemisphere of my brain. I was left that evening being told I needed an MRI to determine the nature of the mass.

Ronny Engrish For Pres. 08

Ladies and Gentlemen ...my three readers. Because you have been so loyal to the Hapkido-Crunch site I am stating it here first ...uhm..er. second actually. Since the mid-eighties there have been interesting characters that have taken up the Independent Party Mantel and have made their best run at that Wall of Domination that is the Right Wing and the Left Wing Political Machines. Thus far no one has succeeded.

Today is time for Change. I am letting you all know that I, Ronny Engrish, am sending a message to the Real World that we in the Virtual World have a voice and we demand to be noticed. I am entering the 'Race' on a New Fourth Party known as:
The Bloggers United Liberty Legion of the Super Humble Independant Totalitarianists. It is long but the short version gets lost in translation ...or does it?

Here is a the news that most of you probably missed due to the huge coverage of the last two Presidential Conventions.

http://www.inews3.com/topstory.php?id=526f6e6e797c456e6772697368

Vote a few times if you feel like it. We need to get some change in Washington and I don't mean the change you have left from a Kid's meal at your local fast-food establishment. They have enough of that.


Well to my Three Readers: Good Night and Good Luck.

DL also stands for David Letterman.

Good Evening to my Three Readers - you know who you are. Don't worry, Your identities will not be revealed.

I should have known better but what was I thinking? Did you all know that the talking head of Tonight's Top Ten List fame is a flaming dumb liberal? I just cruised the channels tonight and stopped on David Letterman. I had not really appreciated Jay Leno's taking the great Johnny Carson's seat on the Tonight Show (kinda like my difficulty seeing another QB running the Pack. Not as good as the Legendary Brett Favre now Jett Favre.) So I skipped Jaws and I stopped and watched Letterman. Tonight must have been the humor writer's day off and Howard Dean was filling in. All he did was rip on everything GOP but none of it was humorous in the least. He poked crap at about McCain's Age after a mild admission of McCain's survival of 5 years in the dreaded Hanoi Hilton. It was 5 and a half years. I think the half was well worth mentioning but what could we expect from a DL. Then he had the gall to say (paraphrasing) "What would happen if while President McCain was sleeping ... after living a long fulfilling life....he does not wake up? Look who we got for President now????" Then proceeded to bash Sarah’s experience. I know there will be age jokes about McCain and if that is all they have...geez they are desperate.
And am I the only one who finds this DL Dumb Logic...confusing? This week nObama was just quoted as saying that he had more experience than the GOP-Veep-To-Be because nObama has run a campaign for president. He even had all (yes ALL) his facts wrong from the number of employees to the size of the budget.
I ask my Three Readers...Since when did running a campaign garner more experience than governing the Union's LARGEST STATE??? AND....Why is this not funny stuff?!? Shoot I could have written a ton of jokes about this. What I find even more disturbing is that the Dem. Pres. Nominee actually saw that it was necessary to defend himself from not only the GOP Presidential Nom. but ALSO the VEEP from the other ticket. Holy crud they are running scared. And why is THAT not funny?
DL even took the low road, and ripped on Palin's Daughter's situation. Why was starting a family at 17 such a freaking scandal over nObama's Alcoholic Drug using Teenage years any less a scandal? And….Say it with me ….WHY IS THAT NOT FUNNY?
Craig Ferguson on the Late Late Night Show (I couldn't sleep) actually had a joke about Palin's Daughter being pregnant too. He said it "is not news and should not be news, UNLESS John Edwards is the father." Now THAT is funny. His political jokes were well balanced and he stayed away from 'low class' themes. Well lemme rephrase that...(thinking)... okay Craig plays with gutter humor not gutter politics.

Well it is late I am tired of watching the crap that the seriously delusional dope smoking censors have somehow found fit for public access television. I am going to bed. I can’t wait to hear Sarah Palin rip it up Wednesday night at the GOP convention.

Good Night to all (three of you).

500!!!

Crunch Time has finally reached the 500 post milestone!

Congratulations to Ronny Engrish who agonizingly ran the anchor leg of this blog & gave us a DL list for # 500.

Here's to another 500 posts!

Fly AirTran

I flew from Moline, IL to Atlanta,GA today. It's the start of a 16-day vacation for me & despite the early hour (530 AM), I was pretty jazzed about getting to SC.

Once we boarded the aircraft, I noticed a soldier boarded the plane & walked to his seat towards the back. I remember thinking to myself, "This guy should be in First class".

No sooner did that cross my mind than one of the flight attendants walked back to the uniformed gentleman & invited him up to First class. The attendant didn't make big deal out of it, no show or flash - he just invited the soldier to the front & proceeded to see to his every comfort.

It's beautiful to see an airline (or, in this case, a representative) do the right thing with only the intention of recognizing a brave man who gives more to his country than most of us ever will.

DLs and the Sears Catalog

Two Dumb Liberals (DLs) were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.


One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this
catalog?'


The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the
price!'


The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At
this price, I'm buying one.'


The second one smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea! Order one and
if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too.'


Three weeks later, the youngest DL asks his friend, 'Did you ever
receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?'


The second DL replies, 'No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her
clothes yesterday!'

The Art of the Out of Office Message

Oh you know when Political correctness has gone too far when you start having staff meetings regarding what is appropriate to place in Out of Office messages.

So then they open it up to questions....heh heh heh To which we intellictual miscrants decided to start examples of what would not be appropriate.

"Would you say that it would be incorrect to use the following as ...yadayada..."

Here are the winners of that list.

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.

If I were in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.

You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

8. I've run away to join a different circus.

9. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons.

When I return, please refer to me as Kate instead of Dave.

10. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

Who has a better one? Real or makebelieve we don't care all it has to be is funny.

The DL side of the coin

I have picked on DLs for a while now. Someone once told me that you should not judge someone till you could walk a mile in their shoes.

Hmmm. Okay so I have decided to find a way to look at reality from the other side of the political arena.

In that honor I have decided to switch parties and VOTE DEMOCRAT. You heard it here folks.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending my income than I would.

I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I'm voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as Government sees fit.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don't have to hide from us over there, they will come over here and I shouldn't have any guns in the house to fight them off with.

I'm voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

Makes ya wonder why anyone would EVER vote Republican, now doesn't it?

If you believe that.... you are on the DL List.

Just The Ticket

I just realized with the choice of such an obviously weak running mate in Senator Joe Biden that we need to focus some of our efforts on helping this soon-to-be-struggling campaign out. Leaving the democrats with a crushing defeat will result in the abundant over-use of tissue paper. Since I don't have stock in Kleenex or Puffs, that's something that just can't happen. Besides, according to the enviro-whackos, all those liberal tears will also lead to global warming.

Obama '08 Campaign Slogans:
1) Biding our time: Biden this time!

2) Snobbery, Plaigarism & Seedy Housing Deals: Welcome back to the Clinton years!

3) Hope & Change: Pray you have either left when we're done!

4) Hey, it's not Dukakis or Mondale.

5) Only tough decisions are above our paygrades.

6) Draft Dodger? Never heard of a draft.

7) Obama '08: Turning live terrorists into "freedom fighters" since '04.

8) Young & Old, Change & Hope, Sick & Tired.

9) Obama/Biden: One opposed Reagan, the other is even crazier.

10) Obama/Biden: Like Laurel & Hardy without the funny.

Go Home, Commie

Nothing steams me more than seeing a hot-headed, bullying poor sport in martial arts. Add to the mix that it's a person in one of the arts I practice & you have a recipe for full-blown rage.

A Cuban TKD champion kicked a referee in the face after he was disqualified in a Bronze medal match for men's (over 80kg) sparring. The disqualification came because the certified jerk used more time than is allowed by regulation to recover from an injury. International rules allow for 60 seconds.

Look, fella. You were sent to represent not only your crappy, despot-led nation but the sport of TKD as a whole. I'm not saying you can't be upset at the call. I AM saying that kicking the referee in the head for following the rules is a load of crap & you deserve that lifetime ban.

I'm an advocate of pulling TKD out of the Olympics, anyway. It's been made a mockery of its former self by the way you clowns hold your hands down to the side. It's supposed to be mock fighting, guys! There should be at least an implication that a punch might be thrown.

Since I'm not a democrat, I should be expected to offer a reasonable alternative, right? Well, I have one: Traditional Hapkido sparring. Not only does it have the kicks of TKD, it also has takedowns & sweeps. It's not MMA, it's not tag with your feet, it is a more readily enjoyable sport than TKD sparring.

Alternatively, bring back Pankration! It was created by the Greeks (didn't they have something to do with the Olympics), doesn't allow punches to the head, has takedowns, joint locks & is very enjoyable to watch.

Now, the above doesn't eliminate poor sports - they'll always be around in one form or another. It does remove one of the silliest displays in the Olympics, replacing it with a more practical demonstration of human ability, and ensures martial arts will be better represented as a whole.

As for the loser who struck the ref: Hey, pal, have fun in Cuba. I'm sure the Castros won't take it out on you at all...

Moving Day

Today, I trekked to Ames to help little sis Sarah move back for college. It was a nice change of pace for me - as I've been somewhat busy (yet bored at the same time).

The trip was fun & we talked about tons of stuff (best joke: What are the sexiest animals on a farm?). It took just under 2 hours & we only needed an hour to move her in - it's not a big moving day at ISU, apparently.

Now, I don't know when the last time was any of you saw a dorm room but HOLY CRAP! This thing was huge. Sure, it's technically 3 rooms, 6 people but that's TWO floors, TWO full bathrooms, a living area, kitchen across the hall, etc. This place is amazing. Heck, it's almost better than my apartment! It's light years better than the dorms at UI (miserable bastion of liberalism that it is).

So, after a rather enjoyable, uneventful move-in, we all went to lunch at Applebees - which is a nice enough place...when you're not getting a bit of the food poisoning, that is. Yeah, less than 1 hour later, ol' big brother is in the bathroom making more noise than a high school marching band backed up by a 747 jet engine. It was bad.

Still, I recovered & it was a good day. I left about 1pm & made it home about 3 - just in time to get ready for class...

The DL Montage with Obama Flair

Roe vs Wade

Back in college, Obama was sitting in class when the professor asked him if he knew what the Roe vs Wade decision was. He sat there for quite a while pondering this very profound question and finally said,"I think that is the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware."

***
Q: What is the difference between a President Obama and a UFO?


A: There have been sightings of UFOs.



***

Q: What do you see when you look directly into Obama's eyes?


A: The back of his head.


***

Q: What do you call Obama behind a steering wheel?


A: An air bag.



***

Ooooo this one is for the nerds....
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside of Obama's head?


A: A Space Invader.



***

Q: What do you call when Obama sits between Condoleezza Rice and Bill O'Reilly?


A: A mental block.



***

Q. What do twenty Dumb Liberals standing ear to ear make?


A. A wind tunnel. (this happens in Congress often)



***

Q. How do you make Obama laugh on Saturday?


A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.


***

Q. How do you confuse a Dumb Liberal? (this one was way too easy)

A. You can't, they have always been like that.





Q. Why is it good to have Obama as a passenger?


A. You get to park in the handicap zone.





Q. What does Obama say when you ask him what the last two words of the national anthem are?


A. Play ball!





Q. What was McCain Doing when he was standing between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama?


A. Interpreting.


Speeding
A police officer stops a Dumb Liberal for speeding and asks him very nicely if he could see the DL's license. The DL replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and now today you expect me to show it to you."





The Thermos
A Dumb Liberal was shopping at K-Mart and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it over to theclerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "why, that's a thermos....it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.""Wow," said the Dumb Liberal, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!" So she took the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss, who is also a Dumb Liberal, saw it on her desk. "What's that?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos...it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"she replied. "What do you have in it?"asked the boss.


"Two popsicles and some coffee"





You know you would think that making fun of Dumb Liberals would have somekind of enjoyable payout. But the more I do this the more I just shake my head.......

Geek SquaSHEd

Geek Squad Tech Support,

You kept Hap's PC for a month. He can kill with his pinky and an evil stare. You won't like him when he's angry.

Here's Your Sign.

The Taliban Education System.

I saw this and for some odd reason I though of Hapkido's Martial Arts class.

Made Up Your Mind, Eh?

Seen on a local idiot's person's car...

Bumper sticker #1:
Obama '08

Bumper sticker #2:
"I'm already against the next war."

I'm sure someone once said, "Those who will fight for nothing, deserve it".

I'm willing to bet you can add the above clown to that group. Sure, other than ending Communism, toppling the Berlin Wall, ending WW II, providing us our Independence, ending slavery and freeing the Iraqi people, a righteous use of force has never done anything for anyone.

Get a clue you "anti" kooks out there. It's easy to be against something. Take a stand, get a pair & be for something greater than yourself.

Just Too Good

My brother did a good one on this caption...