Happy Veterans' Day

Thank you to all those who have served & all those who are serving this great nation of ours. The freedoms you all protect are the greatest gift anyone can provide to another.

Memorial Day

As we enjoy a long weekend with our families & friends, please, let us all remember there are many men & women who have served this great nation who can only look down from Heaven & hope for one more moment, one more day or even one more word to the ones for whom they sacrificed everything. Keep in mind that we have to live for them - appreciate their courage & commitment to a grateful nation - and be thankful every day we bask in the glowing freedom each service member has provided.

Freedom is not free. The price paid, so terrible to those who have lost soldiers; Marines; airmen or sailors, guarantees we can wake up every day in a land that is free & strong in the face of adversity. Every morning all of us can look at our beautiful Flag & know that that day we awoke as a free people.

Honor these brave men & women for their memories truly deserve the very best we Americans have to offer.

Happy Mothers' Day!

To all you mothers out there who make this a better, brighter & funnier place in which to live, thank you & have a great day - you've earned it!

All of you have a thankless job whether you stay at home or split work at home with a career. As a former kid I can tell you from experience that the little devils we are sometimes will drive you crazy but we sons & daughters love our Mothers.

Have a beautiful & blessed Mothers' Day!

As my gift to you, tell your families to make sure the house is clean, Mom gets to do what she wants (or doesn't want) to do & everyone tell her how much she makes your world a better place...or Hap will give them a free "lesson". :-)

Merry Christmas from HR

MEMO TO ALL EMPLOYEES
RE: Christmas PARTY ON DEC. 23RD
DATE: DEC. 1ST

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 P.M. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.

We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?

Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is very little for a gift. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party — the days are so short this time of year — or else package everything for take home in little foil swans. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood problems to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts.
Sorry!

Did I miss anything?

Patty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party

So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based Goddess-worshiping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the band's breaks. Okay???


Patty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
Date: December 9
RE: Holiday Party

People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan,"
there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day.

Could we lighten up? Please????????? Also the company has changed their mind in announcing the special announcement at the gathering. You will get a notification in the mail sent to your home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All #%&$**@ Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The %#*&^%@*%^Holiday Party

I have no #%&*@*^ idea what the announcement is all about. What the %#&^!@ do I care...I KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO GET!!!!!!!!!!!! You change your address now and you are dead!!!!!!!!!!!! No more changes of address will be allowed in my office. Try to come in and change your address, I will have you hung from the ceiling in the warehouse!!!!!!!!!!!

Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your #$%^&*! salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have feelings, too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now! > HA !

I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me!!!!!!!!!!!

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM: Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Finally

I got the last of the gifts mailed out today.

All that's left is to endure the snowstorm we're getting tonight (& probably the next day) & three days of work before Christmas is finally here.

Speaking of work: my boss has been pointing the finger at me lately to blame for, well, random things that didn't directly involve me. Since there's no reason to his scapegoating, I think for Christmas I'd just like someone to point one particular finger at him...

Happy Veterans' Day

A big thank you to those who have served, those who are serving & most of all to those who made the ultimate sacrifice in defending this precious freedom we enjoy everyday.

May merciful God be with each and every one of you & may He help us all to fully appreciate the sacrifices you servants of America & your families make for this great land.

From one veteran to all others: I thank you all & may you always be safe in defending the USA - a country that loves you as much as you love her.

Happy Independence Day

In honor of the day, I present you with the greatest play in the history of sports:

Rick Monday, you're a true patriot!

Happy New Year

I want to wish all of you a Happy New Year!

There are some people in the blogosphere who deserve to be named:

Harvey, of Bad Example: Thanks for getting me started in blogging!

Roses, of Ack! Thbbbt: Your stories have been an inspiration since I first found your site.

And of course Mrs. Who, of House of Zathras: You're a great friend who listens, takes time for others (thanks for reading that essay) & always has something to say about my posts.

All of you out there have a great & Happy New Year!

Universal Christmas Greeting

To My Democrat Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion
of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the
religious /secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice
not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a
fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but
not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that
America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America
in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual
preference of the wish.


To My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Shopping Almost Done

It's been an adventure trying to get every gift together this year, but I'm almost there! The last of the ones shipping goes tomorrow & I only have to get one more (this Wednesday) for up here.

So far I've bought:

A ******* **** for Mom & Dad
2 **** *** ***** for my brother, Matt
A nice ******** **** ******* for my sister, Shannon
A year's worth of **** ******** **** for my friend, Scott
America's Army on XBox 360 for my friend, JP (already gave it to him)

All that remains is my brother, Michael's, present. I'm still really confounded on what to get him. I'll probably throw price to the wind & get him that ******* *** ****** I think he'd really like.

Blanks will be revealed after Christmas! MWAHAHAHA!!!

Holiday Gift Ideas

Timeless gifts that may be hard-to-find but are oh so worth it!

For The Troops

In honor of our brave men & women, fighting for us all of the year and particularly this Holiday season, I'd like to post the following. This was sent to me by my friend, Ron, and read to drivers of a local trucking company by my friend, James, on a CD that was sent to all of them last year.

I can't tell you who wrote it and I suppose that's not really the point. The fact is, whether you support the War on Terror or not, all Americans owe our military a bottomless debt of gratitude for the rights they provide through their daily sacrifices. No protester can claim such a thing. No mere politician could be labeled as a champion for the cause of Freedom. Only the Soldier, Sailor, Airman and Marine are worthy of such an honor.


The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Soldier, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."

"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

Happy Independence Day

I'd like to wish each of you (belated to our great neighbors to the north) a happy Independence Day this July 4^th! This is probably my favorite holiday of the year. Though we enjoy our freedom every day of the year, we set aside this one day to commemorate our declaration of independence (& the Declaration of Independence) that was to become the beacon of freedom throughout the world.


Keep in mind, as you enjoy this great holiday, that we bask in the warmth of freedom's glow because men & women - brave & standing sure in their defense of this great nation - serve us every day. Without these vaunted people in uniform this day, no, ALL days would be left with liberty in question.


If you have the good fortune to see anyone who is, or has, served, thank them. It's a small gesture and a courtesy that shows them their dedication to their country is appreciated & is not forgotten.


Happy Independence Day, everyone!

Wonderful Easter News

Not only do we celebrate the Resurrection on Easter but I was given yet another reason for a joyful mood.


JP of IdLike2bnTX is going to be a Dad! That's right folks, you heard it here first! Now go to his site & congratulate the Texas gentleman properly!


I can say he's a man of outstanding moral conviction, subtle humor & brilliant methods in everything he does. The person who would make a better parent doesn't exist. I seriously mean that from the bottom of my heart. I count myself fortunate to know he is among my best friends.


Congratulations, JP, & best wishes to you & your family on this Easter Sunday!

Happy New Year

As the year comes to a close, I'd like to thank all of you who read this blog on a (semi-) regular basis. I hope you enjoy reading it almost as I enjoy the writing.


I'd like to say thanks to a few people who helped me get things rolling. I figure now is as good a time as any to give credit where it's due...


Harvey - Thanks for getting me started on this blogging thing. Your help has been invaluable as has your advice on the tupperdor/baggiedor.


Brian - I appreciate the spotlight & the flattering review of my site. Keep up the great work on yours & yes, the excellent commentary!


Scott - Thanks for your input & letting me bounce ideas for posts off your head.


James - Thanks for your comments & START A BLOG ALREADY! You've got a lot to say.


All the students/instructors at CVDA - Without out you guys, I'd have nothing constructive to do nor anything to write about it.


Master Matt Rion - What can I say? You're a great teacher, a mentor & trusted friend. I appreciate you allowing me to be the first black belt promoted at your school. It's an honor I'll treasure my whole life.


I wish all of you out there a happy & prosperous new year. May all of your beer be rich, your friends likewise (so you can mooch if needed) & your blogs witty.

For Our Troops

It really wouldn't be right if this blog didn't wish all our men & women in uniform a Merry Christmas.


For those of you who are serving and have served the United States both at home & overseas, this young veteran thanks you for your courage, patriotism and the noble sacrifice that both you & your families are making during this Holiday season.


Truly, without all of you defending our freedom & serving as a beacon of hope & goodwill towards the entire world, none of us would enjoy this precious liberty only our men & women in uniform can provide.


I wish each of you a very Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah & a safe, prosperous New Year.

Thanksgiving

Wow, it's almost the holiday season?!? The year's really flown by. Of course, when you work in transportation like I do, holidays just aren't as fun. For example - I work Thanksgiving AND Christmas this year. Yeah, I get paid for it & all but all things being equal, I'd rather not work.


Adding to it, we only have class Monday & Tuesday this week. This means I work Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday (pretty much the usual schedule) with only 2 days to vent some steam. Oh well, them's the breaks...

Christmas Music Already?

104.5, KDAT, here in town started playing Christmas music on November 1st. Hey, I'm all about being in the Christmas spirit...WHEN it's time for Christmas. For me, that's after Thanksgiving.


From November 1st to December 25th we get that self-righteous blowhard Delilah to tell us how flipping wonderful everything is *and* she shoves that down our gullet with a Jingle Bells dessert. Again, life IS good, but experience it, folks. Having some over-the-top radio personality who specializes in getting hyper-sensitive goofs to air their dirty laundry to the world tell you that doesn't do a thing for anyone.


Fortunately, the intelligent (& some holiday-jaded) have prevailed. We've had that silly radio station turned to one with some sense as to what people want to hear. The problem I really have with playing Christmas music so early is that people get sick of it. Christmas is something to be enjoyed in it's season. Starting it up earlier & earlier every year would be like going to the beach in February to kick off summer - you have a snowball's chance in Hades of really enjoying yourself.

Veterans' Day

Unfortunately, those with courage to guarantee our rights & fight every day so we can enjoy the vast liberty afforded us are taken for granted.


With that in mind, I find this quote particularly appropriate in the face of so many willing to demonize either the military or the chain-of-command. Folks, freedom is not free. It's been fought & paid for more times than any agitator dared picket & protest on a college campus. I truly believe peace can only be obtained through strength & the willingness to demonstrate it. Pacifists want peace at any cost - even liberty.


I'd like to thank every soldier, sailor, Marine & airman who is or has ever served this great nation. Ladies & gentleman, without your daily sacrifice none of us would be able to breathe the freedom we so sweetly are afforded. Thank you all for your noble generosity & know that you are appreciated by this former sailor.


"We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we will always be free".
Ronald Reagan

Seminar

It was an incredible seminar! I spent the 1st half of day one with GM Pellegrini & the remainder of the two day event with GM Bill "Superfoot" Wallace. I'm always impressed with GM P & this time was no exception. The experience with GM Wallace was something new to me. I didn't know if his part was going to be more of the same kicking drills or something new. Let's just sum it up this way...

I learned the most with GM Wallace. He worked us through sparring & boxing drills after extended periods of warm-ups & stretches. If nothing else, the stretching exercises were worth the cost of the seminar. Everything is based off simple fundamentals. The man has a Masters in Human Kinesology, so it's hard to question his knowledge of human mechanics. I just can't figure out that diet plan for the life of me.


There are 3 T's involved in stretching. They are...WAIT!!! If you want 'em, try one of his seminars & learn that way! :-) Seriously, I'm no pro at this stuff & I don't want to give anyone bad info. I will say that I've never been able to open stretch as far or as efficiently as I have since this seminar. If you want more info on GM Wallace, you can check out his site. It includes info on DVDs for stretching, kicking & books on the same. Hey, it's a shameless plug, but worth the look!


GM Wallace is 61 years-old & a helluva lot faster than I'll ever be. Most of us are 1/2 his age or less & he just blew us away with a combination of speed & technique. His efficiency of movement & complete mastery of his preferred moves is jaw-dropping. Maybe it's experience, but I'd like to think it's a combination of that with practical knowledge of how the human body works & adapts. More impressive than any kick was his ability to explain the motion of your body in an enthralling way. At no point could you lose interest in his topics.


The most impressive aspect of the man is how cordial he was. There's definitely a dash of humility there, but I think the best part of him is how he relates to the "average" person - he talks to you exactly as an equal - not like he's a record-holding GM in kickboxing. You could ask a question & the reply would be direct, witty & have just a touch of humor. You also can't help being impressed with someone who just loves every part of what he does. OK, back to the seminar.


We worked on front leg roundhouse kick (closed stance), front leg side kick (open stance) & backfist. I'm no slouch at any of these, though after this time well spent in Omaha, I know where I can find better ways to perform. Backfist was probably the easiest of the three since we were instructed to do it just the way I practice - that is, snapping it out to the target & right back in. Sure, I'm no "Superfoot" but I'm not 1/2 bad, either.


Roundhouse kick is where I was most surprised. I really thought I was decent with it & I suppose I am "decent" but not that fast. A lot of work to be done there. Keeping your center of gravity in the same place (not stepping forward), snapping the kick up in the shortest distance possible, not telegraphing the thing like you're delivering for Western Union, etc...


As for accommodations our friend, Trent, whose from our HKD group & recently relocated to North Dakota, invited us to stay at his house. Really nice place. If you're in the market for a house under $180,000 in the Omaha area, let me know. I'll be happy to send him an e-mail. ;-) It's a great place & has 3 bedrooms with a finished basement & a hot tub. Great neighborhood, too. All in all, the sleeping arrangements were great...with the exception of "Darth" Kitson that 1st night. ha ha


We had breakfast the 1st morning at a little "Ma & Pa" diner. Excellent food & the service was great. Overall, I think the food was spectacular in Omaha. This restaurant we went to (Can't recall the name) had a truly succulent prime rib. I never cared for it before that experience. You could eat a steak at this place every day & not get tired of it...fat, but definitely not tired.


After wrapping up the 2nd day (GM Wallace had to leave at 3pm instead of the planned 4pm) we packed up our stuff (man, my car holds a LOT of crap!) & headed out, "deciding" - OK, guided by man instinct - to stop at the new Bass Pro Shops in Council Bluffs. MAN! That place is h-u-g-e! Really loved it through the whole place. They designed it to make outdoors-type folks comfortable, I guess. It just makes you want to grab a tent & hang out for the night.


Unfortunately, the camping trip was precluded by the others needing to be home for work Monday. We reeled it in & made a quick stop in Des Moines for food, fuel & a stretch before getting to "the beach" as Bill Reif would say. Got the guys to Master Rion's about 1130pm & we all made it home safe.


All in all, an excellent "mancation" that needs to be repeated.