Crunch Time

A Matter of Extremes

2010-01-22T17:02:00.002-06:00

I've been suffering an internal battle, lately...and not the kind that can be resolved with some fiber or pepto bismol, unfortunately.

The conflict is with, well, conflict. I'm not given to confrontation. It's not fear that has me shy away - after all, if defending myself would ever be a problem, all these martial arts have been a waste of time.

As an example, there's a guy a work, we'll call him Buzzkill, who MUST have his hands in everything: conversation, questions, issues, etc. And it's, frankly, very annoying. He not only puts himself in the middle of everything, he has backhanded comments & insults aplenty for everyone there who is obviously incompetent compared to him. Not to mention his CONSTANT complaining...

Now, I've spoken to my boss about this because talking to this looney toon is beyond pointless. However, the real issue is that it's becoming all about him. The office centers around this emotional terrorist & there's a palpable sense of gloom when he walks in at night. If I'm going to continue working there, this must stop.

Now, the conflict issue: I'm given to extremes in these cases. I've never been able to do anything but give up some ground or blast through in full-blown confrontation. A middle ground, where I don't wind up getting reprimanded by my boss but still let asshat buzzkill know his commentary needs to get lost, would be ideal.

I'm just not very good at the middle ground.

Honestly, I just want to tell him to STFU, stay out of my way & when I need his help, I will ask directly for it. (OK, I really want to go upside his head...which is one of those extremes) The problem is that I want him to get confrontational. I want him to get in my face & ask to take it outside. I'd love nothing more than to translate his emotional torture on us into a physical manifestation of my frustration.

That is plain wrong & to be a decent human being, it must be avoided.

How, then, do I confront this in a dignified manner, even if the antagonist is anything but dignified?

Woody Woodpecker

2010-01-20T12:55:00.002-06:00

A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem.

The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.

The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:

Apparently, Tiger Woods was right, when he said, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.

Weather Delay

2010-01-20T12:44:00.003-06:00

I went up to Iowa to visit Miss Hammy this past weekend & expected to fly out on Monday morning. On the way to the airport we got a call informing me my flight was delayed. After checking with the airline, we were flat-out told there's no way out of CR...

Well, that was a bummer (ha ha).

We met one of my friends for lunch & caught up a bit. Also, I was afforded the opportunity to go to class.

Now, I have a reputation for being a little tougher when leading - not that I want to run anyone into the ground - but I'll push the pace & if people need to catch their breath, there's no shame in it.

Four people accused me of trying to kill them...

C'mon, guys! I leave for a few months, show up for one class & you think I'm trying to put you six-feet under? Really?

Hapkido went a little better, with my techniques going well, my falls looking good & generally just having a good time. That's just a fun class for me.

Best of all, Miss Hammy & I had a whole extra day together! So, if that's how travel delays turn out, I'll take more of 'em!

3rd Degree In Separation

2010-01-11T07:04:00.002-06:00

I've decided to get ready for my 3rd degree test. I'm only a bit overdue (7/31/2009 was my eligibility date) so maybe I should think about getting ready.

The first step I took was joining the local gym - which I've been attending regularly. The workouts have been mostly cardio, though my brother has helped me with some minor weight training. He does a system of opposition: when he works one set of muscles, he then works the muscles that pull in the opposite direction. It feels balanced & it seems I'm not so sore the next day.

The second step is learning the two forms I need to promote to 3rd Degree: Choong-Jang & Juche. If you watch these, the former doesn't seem too bad to me. The latter is a bit more involved & I think it'll take a lot more time to put together (much less make it look good).

Next, I have to design 5 one-step sparring techniques (basically, punch defense) which are mostly complete. I'm centering this around punching combinations from an attacker. This came from the idea that an aggressor won't just stop after the first punch & the attacks will keep coming. It seems to flow well & I've even incorporated some good HKD concepts into them.

When all this comes together, I'll do a video of my forms, self-defense & one steps to send to my instructor. If he's satisfied with my performance, hopefully I'll be able to test for 3rd Degree after I do a refresher on all the terminology...

Guns & Ammo

2010-01-10T22:01:00.002-06:00

Well, let's worry about the gun, first...

I'm (still) looking into purchasing a good firearm. So far, there are many good choices out there by Springfield, Taurus, S & W, Kimber (on the high end) & others.

What I want in a handgun are the following features:
- Semi-automatic
- Ambidextrous action **
- Potential for concealed carry but not too small (no subcompacts)
- Manageable recoil
- Simple maintenance

As for the (**) I need ambidextrous action only because I'm a lefty & I'm not aware of many lefty-specific guns out there. I tried a very nice Springfield that was well within my price range but the righty action was not practical in the slightest as my left index finger could not activate the slide.

For caliber, I'll go where it's best but .40 seems to work very well for me. I'd rather avoid the 9mm but am not averse to .45ACP if that load works for me.

So, with this refined list of ideas. are there any suggestions?

Thank You For Smoking

2010-01-10T04:09:00.002-06:00

I'm not a smoker...never have been (OK, unless you count an annual cigar).

So, understand that my topic here doesn't really support smoking so much as our ever-eroding liberties. Some of these, as you will read, are being removed at the simplest stroke of a pen with "feel good" tactics.

Recently, a local radio station (93.3 The Planet) played a commercial announcing a terrific new product available at all North Carolina (we're close to the border) restaurants & businesses: fresh air. This was accomplished by prohibiting smoking at all businesses, public & private.

I don't care so much on the public - if the state determines that will be the policy, the infringement on my rights, while it does exist, is sensible and minimal. This is a reasonable policy as few restaurants are publicly-owned & most public businesses are relevant to essential services (DMV, Registrar, etc.)

However, privately-owned businesses should be allowed to determine if smoking is allowed on their respective properties. If I'm the proprietor of Al Gore's House of Hummus and Holistic Medicine & want it to look/smell like a crowded pool hall on Saturday night, that's my right, not some elected clown riding a desk. If my revenue suffers because my target demographic - non-bathing, organic-loving, damn dirty hippies - wants to stay away from the bikers and union guys who frequent my place because it's OK to smoke, that's the risk I take as the owner.

The simple fact is it's my call as the proprietor of the business. While the state may claim to have an interest in prohibiting smoking to help the innocent non-smoker, the fact is the non-smoker may choose what places to frequent & avoid.

The military protects us. Bureaucrats? Not so much.

Where In The World

2010-01-08T17:39:00.003-06:00

OK, I've been gone for awhile...no particular reason other than being neglectful of my blogging responsibilities. I'm hoping to correct that & resume blogging more regularly.

Basically, I'm getting settled into a new routine in SC & pretty darn thankful to not have a freezing IA winter slapping me in the face. My new job is a job - basically a means of making money - that gives me little enjoyment because there's no organization in the organization/ Mostly, I get the idea management is in the "wishing" phase of improvements. Yeah, that doesn't inspire confidence...

My brother & I are planning to start JKD lessons next week. We got a pretty good deal for private lessons. Also, I ordered a TKD book for forms & it arrived today. Now, I can start working on my last 2 forms for 3rd degree. Lastly, there's a HKD school right down the road that my instructor's instructor knows & he's going to give a call on my behalf. I don't know that I'll attend classes but will at least give the courtesy of showing up & talking to the Chief Instructor there.

Also, I joined a local gym, Peak Fitness. Pretty nice, especially for $20/month. They have plenty of good equipment & a small room where I can work on my forms. I went over all of mine tonight & did pretty well...just a couple hiccups in Koryo, a 1st Degree form. Mostly, I just have to tighten them up & record a video to send to my instructor so he can be sure I'm ready to test.

Well, that's the quick & easy update. I hope all is well for y'all & talk to you soon!

Stupid Liberal Math

2010-01-06T19:20:00.002-06:00

Problem: Terrorists are contemplating or attempting to attack the United States. You are POTUS and a liberal who is beholden to your far-left constituency. How do you handle this problem overseas and domestically?

Overseas: Send in a double strike of Predator drones to hit a terrorist enclave in Pakistan, ensuring suspected terrorists are swept clean off the map and no longer a persistent threat to the USA.

Domestically: Arrest the underwear bomber & read him his "rights" that are normally reserved to US citizens. Ensure he is given a trial in accordance with the US Constitution because, after all, he is innocent until proven guilty and this is not an act of war, it's a matter for the civilian courts. For others, pull them out of Guantanamo Bay and transport them to the scene of the horrific crime they perpetrated on the citizens of this country where they may also receive a trial under the protections of the US Constitution.

I'm OK with the overseas answer...it gets a B.

As for the domestic policy, it's not worth a letter, just the finger.

Wow! What a Day! Part II

2009-12-21T18:59:00.004-06:00

Hey Ya'll.

The final drill went suprisingly better than I had expected. It was a live person drill over the phone to fix an issue. I don't get to pick who was on the other side but nonetheless the call was successful. After the call I was asked what the name of my mock client was. Then the instructor's eyes got big and he asked me if I figured out who I was talking to. Truth was I didn't even think about it. After I thought about it for a few seconds I was able to put the face to the voice. Then my eyes got big.

....It was none other than the Site Director. My boss's, boss's boss. The highest ranking guy in my site... city... state. *A great guy I must add. How many top dogs do you all know that will stop what they are doing and help a trainee?*

All I can say is that I was glad I didn't know that before the call came in. My nerves were already pegged out. Besides, I passed with the Big Boss getting a first person view at my performance. That can't be all that bad.

Today we went live in a limited respect. We still have 1 week of training then four of us move on to an advanced training for another two weeks. In my limited live interactions I connected on 5 of 5 issues with only one mistep that was not a critical issue but still I wish I didn't miss that one. Overall I think I did quite well but to be honest I think I got 5 easy soft issues. I shuddered at what some of my co-workers received for first live interactions. Tomorrow is another day. There will be more than 5 interactions for sure. I hope I have as much faith in my skills tomorrow as I did today.

All in all. I love my new job. It is a 180 degree dynamic change from my previous abortion of an employer. Shoot. I couldn't get positive attention from a manager there let alone a Director. Life is good just as long as I don't watch the news.

Two Definitions

2009-12-20T22:46:00.002-06:00

There is a lot of discussion lately, with regards to this ~~government entrapment of the people~~ health care bill being justified by Article I, Section 8 of the U.S. Constitution, which authorizes Congress to "provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States".

However, I believe this is a shortsighted argument - based on two definitions.

The first definition comes from Merriam-Webster's dictionary on the word "amend":

1 : to put right; especially : to make emendations in (as a text)
2 a : to change or modify for the better : improve (amend a situation) b : to alter especially in phraseology; especially : to alter formally by modification, deletion, or addition (amend a constitution)

Specifically, I'm referring to definition 2b: to alter formally by modification, deletion or addition (amend a constitution). By adding an amendment to a document, the preceding terms listed are altered and new terms may be added. In the case of the United States Constitution, amendments are added to further restrict the powers of government (exceptions: 16th Amendment, authorizing Congress to collect taxes; 18th Amendment, restricting the rights of the people, which was repealed by the 21st amendment).

As a direct example of how amendments change the terms of those that precede them, all we need to do is look at Article 1, Section 8, Clause 1 (authorizes Congress to collect taxes) and the 24th Amendment (abolishing the poll tax). The federal government was granted a right and the United States Constitution, which inherently distrusts government, was amended to restrict this granted power.

This brings me to the second definition arguing against government-controlled health care - the 10th Amendment:

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

Now, Congress is authorized to provide for the "general Welfare". This is plainly written in Article I, Section 8, Enumerated Powers and not open for dispute. The United States Constitution, as we know, does not trust the federal government and the 10th Amendment, which I believe the Founders intentionally placed at the end of the Bill of Rights, explicitly states if the United States government is not explicitly granted a power by the Constitution, it is reserved to the States or the people.

For those who hold the 1st Amendment and 2nd Amendment sacred (as we all should), I implore you to look at the other 24 amendments in this boon of Liberty. The 10th Amendment was not placed last in the Bill of Rights because it was the least important. It is there because, as is fitting for any amendment to a contract, it is the most important in limiting what the government may do to the people.

Wow! What a day!

2009-12-14T19:29:00.005-06:00

I once ate at a great Chinese Restaurant in Dillon Colorado where I learned a valuable lesson. I had ordered a dish that was advertized as spicy about a week earlier and had returned with about a dozen friends and ordered that same dish. This time I asked the waitress if I could get it "A little spicy, because the last time it wasn't that spicy." MISTAKE! The dish that came out of the kitchen could be used in the NASA space program to launch shuttles into space. My face had the tint of Carrot Top's hair. I ate every morsel even though the poor waitress had to upgrade me from a glass of water to a pitcher.

I tell that story to tell you this one. Some lessons learned have more than one application.

Recently I found myself in a Job Transplant situation not unlike our friend Hap but without the relocation and Praise God, in a much shorter timeline. *Hap. Much love and respect for surviving that and making the relo decision. It was a hard choice, and probably harder than anyone will ever know.*

I currently find myself in a class of intelligent people who even with multiple holidays, and inclement weather closing us down for a day, somehow find ourselves ahead of the learning schedule. The speed at which we have learned the information I attribute to the skills of our instructors. Those instructors recently asked for feedback. Someone *not naming names ME* suggested a variety of real-life scenarios instead of the typical ideal lesson-reinforcement scenario. Just so we do not get caught blindsided when we see one. For some reason the Chinese Restaurant lesson did not seem to be applicable in this instance. BOY WAS I WRONG.
About 3 PM today my brain came to a screeching halt. I had a total cranial meltdown. The scenario we encountered was not just one realistic situation but five all wrapped up into one with a twist. I could not believe how many mistakes I made. I still don't know how this one got ironed out in real life. *Yeah someone actually went there.*

Everyone needed help. It was ugly.

No more pride. No more asking for the advanced stuff.

That was real smooth of me and tomorrow is the first, and biggest, of the make-it-or-break-it drills. Where did my confidence go? Oh yeah it is sitting in the back seat with my pride. I think I will do okay but one thing is for certain: I have tons of respect for my peers who have gone before me.

Honorary Belting

2009-11-20T19:20:00.002-06:00

This article was passed to me by Harvey of Bad Example. President Obama, during his recent visit to South Korea - as part of his apparent world tour (take that global warming believers!) - was awarded an honorary black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Since I'm a black belt in TKD, it's well within my authority to comment on this "achievement".

First, I assume he's 1st degree. Being a second degree, I outrank him.

Second, I'm not offended at the award even though it wasn't earned. It's an honorary belt, just like an honorary doctorate from a university. In fact, this is an apt reference since one may actually get a degree in TKD in some South Korean universities.

Many of the comments on the article are just waaaaay too sensitive on the subject of an honorary award. No, it's not like the Nobel Peace prize. While both are political awards in my mind, the Peace prize denotes some form of accomplishment while the black belt, in reality, is just a piece of cloth around one's waist - the perceived value is put there by the observer.

Also, and let's be honest, there are black belts available for the asking out there. If you want to look at any martial arts website out there, you can order the belt & an official-looking certificate and *BOOM*, you're a black belt. It's a symbol, not a determination of actual competence in an art.

Now, it would be inappropriate for the president to claim status as a black belt since it was given & not earned AND the fact everyone will know it's honorary from the start of class. Accomplishment allows for character building, not the other way around.

Here's what a black belt means in my opinion. Yes, I wrote an essay for my 1st degree (AND got my cool tagline from Harvey as a result!).

Dr. Seuss Redux

2009-11-13T17:09:00.005-06:00

For the older kids out there...

New Job

2009-11-13T06:42:00.003-06:00

3 weeks in.

3 days of training in the first week. None since

No supervisor. (Not as sweet as you might think)

No organization in the organization.

Suggestion: Get a clue, dummies.

Happy Veterans' Day

2009-11-11T14:13:00.002-06:00

Thank you to all those who have served & all those who are serving this great nation of ours. The freedoms you all protect are the greatest gift anyone can provide to another.

Gun Wrongs

2009-11-03T17:28:00.001-06:00

Because there's an obvious opposite to Gun Rights...

Wow. The School's WebSite actually says that?!?

2009-10-29T17:05:00.003-05:00

I was looking at a friend of mine's high school website. He went to an inner city school that he likes to say was more like a prison than an actual school. His wife emphatically agrees. When she saw where he went to school and grew up she was surprised. He eventually moved away from that environment and now states that the worst school in our area is better than the school for the gifted where he grew up. I thought he was feeding me his usual line of 'hee-yuck hee-yuck' humor but then I went out to his school's web site which he admitted he was surprised it even existed. It is a pretty basic website obviously done in-house by the students, but to our surprise one of the links is pretty telling of what they deal with in that school system.

Under the heading: "Odds and Ends / Found on the Wall..." it states:

Found on the Wall...

Found on the wall in the literacy center at South Division High School in Milwaukee

If ever there was an argument for why throwing more money at our public schools is not the best way to get higher achievement, this is it.

The problem facing our schools today is not lack of funds; it is lack of talent. We have under qualified people filling many of the key positions at our inner city schools. Some half-wit administrator felt that allocating funds to develop a “literacy” center in place of assigning those funds to attract a teacher with the talents and skills needed to improve the skills of the students.

Maybe there was a need for a literacy center. I wouldn’t be critical of an administrator developing such a program if it proved to be useful. It is going to be an incredibly hard sell to merit a literacy center staffed by people who can’t even write a simple sentence. But I am critical. I am critical that a person could be hired to work in a literacy center who struggles with basic syntax.

“Discovery the doors to books open.” This seems like it could almost make sense. "Books open the doors to discovery" is a great message to send. I can’t even imagine the hell a dyslexic individual trying to get help in this “literacy” center must be going through.

I have an idea. Let’s not hire incompetent people to teach. What happens when incompetent people teach? They teach incompetently. Therefore, no education takes place and we have just hired a $30,000/year baby-sitter with benefits.

Here is the link if you don't believe me:
http://www.1dynamicplace.com/SDHS/index.html?lang=en-us&target=d136.html

All I could say was.... "Wow" and it made it past all the censors. Way to go sneaky Web admins. Just goes to show you that the school administrators don't know how to use a computer and check on this kind of stuff. But what do I know I am just a dumb country bumpkin.

Sounds to me like Acorn was alive and well in the Inner City Public School System. If this is not an advertizement for Home Schooling than I don't know what is.

More Equestrian Math

2009-10-12T21:11:00.004-05:00

In this equation (wow, that really works for this!), we have the following:

1 - Hap (the fateful protagonist of our story) - 180lbs

2 - Packer (the very cool, calm & collected Paint) - 1200lbs

3 - Random Horse #14 (big, stupid doo-doo head) - 1000lbs

So, here's the situation: Hap & Packer leave Barn at approximately 2pm, moving at a fast walk (6 mph, or so). After the first turn, they encounter Random Horse #14, who decides his curiosity, and possibly non-gelding equipment, is suitable for a challenge to the Hap/Packer team.

If Packer decides that RH14 is, in fact, deserving of being put in his place, how long can Hap hang on for the wild ride?

Bonus question: When do Hap's lungs give out from the screaming?

Stop Playing Football

2009-10-10T19:59:00.002-05:00

President Obama, S-T-O-P using our military as a political football for your special-interest buddies!

First, you were indecisive about taking out the Somali pirates who held an American ship & her crew hostage. Next, you had to be shamed into meeting with Gen. McChrystal - probably a major inconvenience between pitching Chicago for the 2016 Olympics & your talk show tour - for a whole 1/2 hour.

Now, you've decided to openly allow gays in the military - a move that, based on your few previous actions, suggests you intend to further suppress morale among our brave men & women in uniform by using them as the impetus for your next special-interest "touchdown".

Before we get any farther...do I have an objection to any person, regardless of sexual orientation, serving his or her country? No. People have done so, honorably, and without some self-aggrandizing need to trumpet their preference in human genitalia. My objection is making sexual orientation the issue. Openly allowing homosexuals in the military - particularly on the heels of the POTUS showing ZERO leadership in responding to his commanding General - will tell the good people currently serving that they're part of some beltway experiment in political correctness.

Damned if that's what we relegate them to!

So, Mr. President, you score points with your hard-left constituents, most of whom probably loathe the military more than Rosie O'Donnell hates spinach. Of course, the goal is not to prevent, "cutting from the military's ranks people with needed skills for fighting". That's a total political answer that disguises chagrin as consideration. The idea seems to be unsettling the military to the point of discouraging recruitment.

In a word: Shameful.

Deep Thoughts: Nobel Prize title for winners.

2009-10-09T17:15:00.002-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

***************************

I got to thinking today, when I person gets knighted they attain a certain status. They can be called "Sir Knight". When someone reaches the heights of their education in their line of study they get to be called "Doctor". When a martial artist kicks enough butt in Badaahhhhh... *uhem* Bad Arse style (keeping it clean for Mrs. Who ;) ) they get to be called Master.

I think now that Barak Hussein Obama has earned the title of Nobel Peace Prize Winner he should be able to use the title "Leader Extraordinaire."

Yeah I think it should do.

Barak
Hussein
Obama
Leader
Extraordinaire

Anyone else got a fitting title for this new prize winner?

Hmmmmmmm.

ASPCA Animal Lover Prize

2009-10-09T13:16:00.004-05:00

Fresh on the heels of President Barack Hussein Obama (mmm, mmmm, mmmmmm!) winning the Nobel Peace Prize & shocking the world by doing so with under two week's experience AND without any significant accomplishments to further peace in the world, comes another timely choice for an award:

The APSCA World Animal Lover Prize has been awarded to Michael Vick, of the Philadelphia Eagles for his notable accomplishments in expressing his regret for operating Bad Newz Kennels - a now-infamous dogfighting ring.

"Sure, he abused, mistreated and ultimately maimed poor animals", stated the ASPCA spokesperson, "but you have to look at his words since then, which decidedly paints him in the light of a person who regrets what he did because it cost him millions...uh, can we edit that last sentence out?"

Vick, who recently was allowed back into the NFL after being released from prison, obviously was deserving of the prize because, as the ASPCA spokesperson puts it, "While he hasn't actually shown real remorse for his actions, Mr. Vick was overheard saying, 'I'll bet you I never try that sh*t again!' to a fellow Eagles player. This indicates his intention to love animals and thus earned him our coveted award this year".

Other winners of the ASPCA Animal Lover Prize include Britney Spears and rapper DMX.

Hap vs. 5,000 Volts

2009-10-07T21:52:00.002-05:00

In a word: OUCH!

This incident involved wet ground, an electrified fence & a 1200lb Paint Quarterhorse.

In other words: 1200lb horse + 175lb Hap x 5000 Volts = ?

Juggle that equation in your head for awhile & let me know what you think...

Congress Shall Make No Law...

2009-10-07T08:55:00.002-05:00

But that apparently doesn't apply to the courts. Who can decide what's best for us by judicial fiat.

The main argument against a cross memorializing the sacrifice of WW I veterans is that it "excludes" other veterans from being honored.

Excuse me f***tards but just because a memorial is in honor of a particular group doesn't mean it's specifically intended to give a different group the proverbial finger. Yes, I'll grant that the park agency should have allowed a Buddhist symbol to be placed on the land. However, tearing down the cross doesn't put a Buddhist symbol up there.

I'd be inclined to believe this was a pro 1st Amendment argument if it was constructive (i.e. - let's allow ALL religious symbols to be placed) in nature. Of course, the ACLU, in it's infinite Christian-bashing "wisdom", cannot abide a cross on federal land & supported a former National Park Service employee who quite possibly had honorable intentions for bringing forth the lawsuit.

THE Christmas Gift of the Year

2009-10-06T09:57:00.004-05:00

Folks, have you ever wondered what it would be like to experience, firsthand, the generosity of "The One"?

Do you find yourself in contempt of the American economy, way of life & capitalism, in general?

Admit it, you've secretly hoped for a game you could play that allows you to do both of these wonderful things at once.

Introducing: Obamopoly!!!

The object of the game is to destroy American capitalism by having the government take over EVERYTHING!

Tokens include a bus, a teleprompter, a sprig of arugula (have you seen the cost of that lately?) & a waffle iron.

So, do you wanna play? NO??? Well, too bad, everyone's playing and, quite frankly, in this game, nobody wins...

Killing Kittens Since 1992...

2009-10-05T13:27:00.002-05:00

Barack "Chamberlain" Obama

2009-10-02T13:23:00.003-05:00

That's the name he's getting from now on.

Of course, there needs to be justification for attaching such a moniker to anyone. Now, where could I find some sort of proof of concept?

Oh! That's right: he gave up our missile shield in Europe for nothing, sold out our allies (Poland & the Czech Republic) & all to make nicey-nice with Russia - a power who only benefits from a weak United States.

Now, maybe I'm reaching here. After all, it's not like PM Neville Chamberlain sold out an ally (Austria) by volunteering a peace offering (the Sudetenland) in the interest of making nicey-nice to a belligerent power (Nazi Germany) who only benefited from a weak Britain.

"Appeasement" is a stinky cologne, Mr. President...

Double Trouble

2009-09-30T09:50:00.003-05:00

Comedienne Whoopi Goldberg - who long ago forgot how to deliver teh funny - joined with over 100 Hollywood ~~actors~~ whackos in diminishing Roman Polanski's rape of a 13-year old girl in the 1970s. The wingnut declared, in typical leftist confusion, that Polanski didn't commit "rape-rape" - apparently, he "only" committed rape.

Wow, with that obvious post on the moral high ground as proof that rape isn't as bad as "rape-rape", I wonder what ways the left would defend the abominations of their other cohorts:

* Bill Clinton didn't have "sex-sex" with Monica Lewinsky.
* Jimmy Carter's presidency wasn't "lame-lame".
* Kanye West wasn't "rude-rude" when he took Taylor Swift's mic.
* Jenny Slate didn't say "f*ck-f*ck".
* The U.N. isn't "against-against" Israel's survival.
* The G20 protesters weren't "violent-violent" (um, that was the TEA party guys!)
* Charles Manson isn't "crazy-crazy".
* The public option isn't "bad-bad".

Any other ideas? Leave 'em in the comments...

Prius verses the competition

2009-09-29T08:40:00.002-05:00

Cruising through in internet researching car info I ran across this little gem that I have modified to fit my deep dispise for dePrius.

Question: Head to head versus the competition how does the Prius (formerly known as the leCar) stack up?

Answer: (look closely.)

Deep Thoughts: Cash For Clunkers Positive Angle.

2009-09-28T09:47:00.003-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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I have decided to try to take a more positive look on the current hole we are in. So here we go:

The POSITIVE results in the Cash For Clunkers program:

It has taken thousands of Obama bumper stickers off the road...

How did I do?

hmmmmmm.....

Oh, They Can't?

2009-09-23T12:40:00.002-05:00

Who says women can't drive?

That was a retired teacher, grandma who just ran a 9.74 1/4 mile in her GTO!!!

It Does Exist!

2009-09-23T11:43:00.004-05:00

Waaay back, I doubted the very existence of Whataburger. My friends told me it didn't exist, people mocked me for believing in Whataburger. My life was filled with doubt, fear & worry that, in fact, there WAS no Whataburger!

I just didn't know how I could go on in a world where Whataburger wasn't real...

Then, like Sarah Palin setting liberals straight on big government, Mrs. Who stepped in & renewed my hope for a real Whataburger! I was overjoyed with a bolstered sense of hope & possibility in the world that, one day, I too might enjoy the delicious wonder that is the Whataburger!

Well, that day finally arrived! I have eaten the Whataburger & it was freakin' delicious! Thanks, Mrs. Who, for not letting me give up hope. :-)

Here's my proof Whataburger exists:

And here's my proof it is good:

Awww...

2009-09-23T00:17:00.002-05:00

This is just the sweetest little thing I have ever seen!

As a matter of fact, this Italian Teddy Bear is possibly cuter & cuddlier than I am!

Um, possibly NSFW if you have folks with tender ears...

Taking A Gamble

2009-09-21T13:21:00.004-05:00

The trip to OK was a good one. We stayed in Springfield at Miss Hammy's brother's house & ate at Lambert's (the home of the Throwed Roll) - that place is just plain incredible! If you ever get the chance to eat there (there's also one in Foley,AL), I highly recommend it. You'll wait at least an hour to get in & the experience is actually worth every minute.

Cowboy didn't work out as well as we had hoped. The folks who own him definitely know how to care for horses & all of them seemed happy with the digs. Cowboy himself was decent-looking, to be sure, but his hooves were under-slung a bit & he was very stiff on the front end (to the point of circling his legs outward just a bit). He's a very friendly, yet VERY serious, yearling. While that's a spectacular quality for a show horse, I'm not looking to show all that often & his "all work" demeanor doesn't suit my attitude. I want to work a horse & also let him have some fun.

That leads us to "Gambler" - who, ironically doesn't seem like much of a gamble. We checked him out on Sunday before we headed home & this little weanling is not only sweet & playful, he's also blessed with good conformation, sturdy legs & his sire displayed similar qualities to Miss Hammy's Paint. We researched a bit more & it turns out Gambler is related to Miss Hammy's Paint (Her Paint's grand-sire is Gambler's great-grand-sire)! This may account for the similar attitudes - or not...who knows at this point.

The folks at this small farm care for their horses very well & openly answered all questions without hesitation or a "sales pitch" attitude. They let us take some video of him & a few pics. We have one concern that Miss Hammy noticed & will address that. If it's a minor issue, we'll get him vetted & consider going ahead with the purchase.

Here's a pic of the little guy...

Horse's Butt Award

2009-09-17T09:56:00.003-05:00

Our great, all-knowing, merciful leader - "messiah" president barack obama has given away our European-based missile defense system...for absolutely nothing.

He claimed that his new strategy will provide "stronger, smarter & swifter" defenses against countries like Iran. Sure thing, buddy. Does your new strategy involve harsh words & spit balls? Oh, wait, you said on the news that it would be a "mobile" system. Does that mean we & our European allies you sold up the river all run for cover in bomb shelters?

So, instead of defending the USA & our allies, we're going to stick with the concept that MAD (mutually-assured destruction) is the best plan. Nevermind that we can reduce the nuclear threat of an increasingly recalcitrant Russia with this shield. No, the so-called "second coming" decided to honor the 70th anniversary of the Soviet invasion of Europe by giving up the best option for the West's strategic defense.

Congratulations, Mr. president, you are the recipient of the first Crunch Time Horse's Butt "Award"! Wear it with typical liberal pride...

Pretty Cool

2009-09-15T13:36:00.002-05:00

Miss Hammy & I are looking at a horse. Now, before any of you read into that, we're looking at a horse for me to buy. Things are going well with us but this is from a trainer/student perspective, not a couple vantage.

I'm looking at a really cute little fella named "Cowboy" (barn name, not full one). He's a yearling Paint who is halter broke & supposed to have a great personality (we'll see about that). While there's certainly no commitment to make a purchase at this time, we are heading down to OK for a visit so we can see him & hopefully have Miss Hammy work him a little on a longe line.

Now, I'm still jobless but have the $$$ to purchase him ($2500) & stable him for a year or so. I'd darn sure better have a job by that time! We're hoping to talk the sellers down to $2000 or less since he hasn't sold for awhile & he probably won't sell over the winter months.

I wouldn't claim to be ready to own a horse. However, in the event I do make this purchase, Miss Hammy is willing to work him for 30 days, turn him out after that (until he's 4) & then give him 60 days to ensure he's saddle broke & trained in basic dressage (1st level, tops), jumping (to 3ft or so) & some western pleasure/trail. He'll end up with a hybrid discipline set, which works since Quarters aren't particularly suited to dressage (though they have the brains to learn it) & I've seen more than a few who love to jump.

Her Paint, "Packer" - who, for you Green Bay fans, was foaled on the same day the Packers won their last Super Bowl in 1998 - L-O-V-E-S to jump! He's actually helped other horses clear the hurdle (pardon the pun) & learn to jump over 3ft where they'd normally stop faster than Rosie O'Donnell passing an all-you-can-eat Ho-Ho buffet.

Anyway, Miss Hammy believes that riding lessons also mean the rider MUST prep & tack the horse as well. She has me brush him down, give fly spray, pick the hooves, add polo wraps & put on the bridle. We alternate on using a saddle. Riding bareback provides me natural stability & I don't have any stirrups with which to "cheat". After that, yes, I'm expected to muck the stall - which is actually good because it's perfect "me time". The good thing about this is I'm picking up habits that won't allow for cutting corners. If I'm going to own a horse down the road, I have to understand what is needed to care for him/her at all steps (tip: feed bags are HEAVY...but not as heavy as a hoof on your foot).

Well, I'll keep y'all updated on how Cowboy does! He's a real handsome fella...

Deep thoughts: Poles or Polls

2009-09-11T18:47:00.006-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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Facebook AKA Stalkerland has way too much time on it's collective hands. They throw out all kinds of stuff. I ran across this in my perusings which I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it......

The results for "The "Re-elect Obama" Poll"

Will you vote for Obama in 2012
yes - (24.3%)
no - (70.9%)
undecided - (4.7%)

Jimmy Carter even did better than that!!!
How did THAT happen if Facebook is dominated by the younger generation College / Highschool age peeps.....

nObama's Propaganda Czar must not doing their job.

Wait...... that's MSNBC. Nevermind. That explains a lot.

One Year

2009-09-10T08:59:00.004-05:00

Hard to believe it's been a year since the seizure. Not that I haven't had a few ups & downs, just like all of y'all have, but I'm generally in good health; pretty happy; and am fortunate that the only reminder of that incident is this well-hidden scar on the top of my noggin. (A special thanks to Mrs. Who, whose thoughtful gift kept it that way, even right after the surgery!)

Since the C-shaped scar is in fact there & I have a needlessly disturbing sense of humor, I figure having a little fun with my situation is in good order. You see, baldness runs in my family. It seemed to skip me, as I have a gloriously full head of hair, but how would I explain this scar if that well-coiffed "do" wasn't perched up there?

Explanations for Hap's C-shaped Scar
-- Horrible incident involving an impromptu nap in a pumpkin patch.
-- "Darn right I'm a hardcore Carolina fan!"
-- "Dad thought reminding me of my GPA in high school would help for college."
-- Something involving the rescue of a busload of nuns/orphans.
-- #6 of 12 extreme protesters who declare "OBAMACARE SUX".
-- "I took folks literally when they said I should have my head examined."
-- "When someone says, 'I double-dog dare you', there's no WAY I'm backing down!"
-- "DNC tried to remove my brain & all they got was this lousy tumor."

No "Option"

2009-09-09T13:46:00.004-05:00

The "Public Option" of Obamacare is dead. Apparently, the Senate finance chairman (Max Baucus - D, Montana) says it just can't pass...sort of like a congressman after a 24-hour cheese binge.

With this in mind, I figure it's only appropriate to eulogize this abomination of a health care "plan" in the most inappropriate of ways:

Top Ten Most Likely Headlines for the Public Option's Demise
10. "Public Option no match for Public Opinion."
9. "Former-president Clinton Dismayed at Failure of Pubic Option...Claims Issue Is Misunderstood."
8. "Obamessiah Fails To Heal The Masses."
7. "Dems Left With Foot-In-Mouth Disease."
6. "President Obama Quoted As Saying: 'Uh, um, you see, uh, uh'."
5. "NYT Uncovers More Pictures From Abu-Graib."
4. "VP Biden Unavailable For Comment."
3. "Obamacare Dies of Talking Pneumonia"
2. "Public Option Still More Popular Than Congress, Poll Shows."

And the #1 headline for the failure of the public option is...

1. "Town Hall = Down Fall!!!"

A Tale Of Two Presidents

2009-09-01T10:15:00.001-05:00

I wonder who the Marines liked better: Dubya or Barry?

Here's the results...

Deep Thoughts: nObama Care and Plastic Surgery

2009-08-24T22:15:00.005-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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What is going to happen to Plastic Surgery if nObama gets a hold of it.

Or WORSE YET!!!!!!

Eiew......

Deep Thoughts - Typos

2009-08-22T10:30:00.002-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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It occurs to me that the letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard.

This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending an email with the phrase "Regards" again.

hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Deep Thoughts: Is that wrong?

2009-08-21T14:13:00.004-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.
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An internet friend of mine sent me this joke......and it got me thinking.

**** Joke****
Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.

In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white he called his doctor and told him of his problem.

The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.

Barack drank the concoction and replied, 'That tasted like bullcrap!'

The doctor replied, 'It was, you were a quart low.'
***********end of joke***********

So is that really racist being that nObama is half caucasian? I'm not sure wether to half laugh or half rebuke my internet friend. Then I had to think again .... Does it count that the friend is a African American? Or would it count that he was a Conservative African American.

Being PC is so freaking impossible.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Cash For Codgers

2009-08-20T10:30:00.001-05:00

JUST IN.....

Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named.....

"CASH FOR CODGERS".......

and it works like this..... Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers
will garner the highest amounts.

Special "Bonuses"......will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and
ANY member of the Republican Party.

Smaller bonuses......will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, ice cream or other dairy products, bacon, or Girl Scout Cookies.

All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.

Remember....... You heard it here first.....

Sleepytime Fun

2009-08-07T12:23:00.004-05:00

Old Fart Football!!! **this was sent to me by Mrs. Engrish. ....don't get any ideas Mrs. Engrish or it's to the couch.**

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'

The old man replied, 'It's fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says 'Touchdown, tie score.'

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.'

Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable,he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, 'What the heck was that?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides."

Simple Science at Work

2009-08-07T10:22:00.004-05:00

New Element Discovered (From an internet friend)

Scientists have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 Czar neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Deep Thoughts: Teamwork

2009-08-05T09:35:00.002-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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Is it really called "Bipartisan if it is just a massive orgy of Democrat Liberals and Communists?

Hmmmmmmm.........

Moral Question

2009-08-02T11:47:00.003-05:00

I was at the barn, with Miss Hammy, a few days ago & one of the cats had caught a small (chickadee, I think) bird. The feline was in the "playing" stage of the kill & hadn't yet caused any lasting damage.

When the kitty set the bird down in preparation for the festivities, I stepped in, shooed the cat away & picked up the bird (with a glove - wild birds can have parasites). We brought her over to a tree a ways off & she hopped up to a branch & flew away.

The question: Do you save the bird or let nature take its course?

Obamacare

2009-07-28T11:09:00.001-05:00

TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO OBAMACARE:

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter
the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “an apple a
day."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill
last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not
a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming”.

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED OBAMA’S HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.

Deep Thoughts: Criminal Minds

2009-07-27T11:06:00.002-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

and.......

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

hmmmmmm

Geography Lesson

2009-07-14T09:47:00.002-05:00

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered,
half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and
open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and
convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but
still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a
glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through
war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but
open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a
mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages... An adventurous spirit
and a thirst for spiritual knowledge....

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran: ruled by nuts.

Deep Thoughts - Luxury Cars

2009-07-13T10:48:00.006-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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Luxury cars are soon to be a thing of the past if the current regime has it's way.

They have always been beyond my means but I took out a luxury car last week, just to drive that sucker.

The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained the seats directed warm air to your butt during the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

I couldn't resist: I stated the car must be a Republican car.

He asked; "Why do you say it is a Republican car?"

I explained if it were a democratic car the seats would blow smoke up your ass year 'round.

Deep thoughts - The Uh Oh.

2009-07-10T14:25:00.004-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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We know that if you put lipstick on a pig it is still a pig. BUT......

If you put lipstick on a horse will Barak still kiss her goodnight? (maybe after he buys her a $6000 feedbag?)

In The Saddle

2009-07-08T14:18:00.003-05:00

I've taken up a new hobby!

As you may have guessed from the title, it involves our equine friends. Miss Hammy owns two horses & knows how to ride English (English & Western being the two major disciplines). I think she knows Western but claims people who ride Western "don't know how to ride".

She started me off, bareback, on her quarter horse & we kept it at a walk. The next time out, I rode her Thoroughbred & we walked around the farm area (a mile, or so).

Last night, we worked our way up to trot - which reminds me: her boys are trained to respond to both physical AND verbal stimulus in English: If you say "trot", that's what you get, so be prepared. They were both patient horses & treated me pretty well. I still have to get used to showing a 1200lb animal that I'm in charge & my behind is a little sore, but I think a few weeks & I'll be up to a canter.

Right now, the trot is still jostling me a bit - I have to learn to relax - but I am getting better with my form & turning my head/shoulders with the horse.

It's fun stuff & maybe there will be pictures in the future!

Hap's Cross-Country Adventure

2009-07-01T14:56:00.005-05:00

I departed last Tuesday (along with Miss Hammy, as the girlfriend will be called on this blog) for the People's Republic of California. She had an appointment out there last Friday & asked me to tag along. We drove...

***Queue "Holiday Road" from National Lampoon's Family Vacation***

After an interesting adventure (read: massive, catastrophic delay) just 30 miles before Las Vegas, we made it to California on Wednesday night.

I'll go over the details at a later date but now for the highlight of the little trip:

The Ronald Wilson Reagan Presidential Library!
(Apologies to Pam...I'm not a photographer on any level)

It really was an amazing place to visit. Because of an earlier delay, we didn't arrive until 3pm & the museum closes at 5pm but still, it was enough time to take in a well-designed library that pays tribute to the accomplishments of a great man.

Miss Hammy particularly loved this statue (by Veryl Goodnight) of stallions trampling over the ruins of the Berlin Wall. OK, mostly because she loves horses but there was a lot of excitement on her face on seeing it.

OK, I had to capture this pretty image!

The car governor Reagan traveled in while campaigning for president...OK, I'll forgive the fact it's a Ford.

The first image one sees walking into the museum.

OK, I've got at least 100 pictures to show & I'll throw a few posts up covering the whole experience. There is one picture to end this post that made the entire trip worth the time:

This is Ronald Reagan's burial site. I've read & been told that people can feel a tangible sense of evil in places where inhuman atrocities have taken place. Well, upon entering this small memorial, the feeling of calming peace wrapped itself around me. It was a beacon of good. All else that can be said is that the man's dedication to all that was best in America left a lasting impression at his place of rest on this earth.

Deep Thoughts: Waterboarding

2009-07-01T10:26:00.004-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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I think I would rather undergo waterboarding than have nObama, Pelosi, Biden, & Reid.
Yeah I would certianly enjoy waterboarding more than suffer through the Qlueless Quad.

Where in the world is HAP?!?

2009-06-26T15:47:00.002-05:00

I am not sure anyone noticed or not but Mr. Hap has been ...missing for a while.

As a joke a while back I sent him a Russian Mail Order Bride catalog.... no I didn't..... and neither did he.
He wanted me to tell you that he DID NOT GO TO ARGENTINA!!!

Last week Hap told me (paraphrased) that he may be going to just about the coolest place he's ever wanted to visit! He said it would be very likely that he will be there by the end of the week. He did not want to ruin the surprise for us all but we'll definitely agree this is one "must see" place in a lifetime.

So he is visiting someplace that most of our readers all want to visit at least once in their lifetimes. I will let your minds wander and please GUESS AWAY. (I got it in three guess ...four if you count one of my associates guessing another location incorrectly as well.)

Rest assured Hap will be back and with some stories and Pics of his gallivanting.

I can't wait! This is gonna be good!

Deep Thoughts: Green Electric Cars

2009-06-26T12:08:00.006-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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Dumb question.

Did anyone stop to think of where we are going to dispose of all the batteries from these Electric Cars? Last I checked they were an environmental hazzard. Some one correct me if I am wrong. The gas powered vehicles are recycleable to the relatively small battery. These Hybrid cars rely more on their batteries than the gas cars. One would expect that in this Green World; batteries would be in higher demand and replaced more often requireing NON-ENVIONMENTAL FRIENDY waste.

Also Carbon Dioxide was something that was reversable. I don't know of anything that reverses Battery Acid into something useable.

I don't know.... the whole thing seems stupid to me. Weaker less effecient cars that do more harm than good replacing better but albeit stinkier cars.

Maria Belen Chapur

2009-06-26T11:20:00.003-05:00

I have to wonder about the quality of Eye Care in Argentina and in South Carolina.

Gov. Sanford heads South of the Border in more ways than one and we get rumors of this mystery woman.

Rest assured as I have used my vast investigative resources and intelligence contacts we have hunted down this mystery woman know only as Maria Belen Chapur. But the quote from the media states: "A witness who works near her home described her to Buenos Aires Continental Radio as a beautiful brunette with big eyes who plays tennis on a nearby lawn and runs every morning in her neighborhood."

Like FoxNews States.

We'll Report You Decide.

Deep Thoughts: The King is Dead & Other Random Thoughts

2009-06-26T10:57:00.004-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

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The King is Dead. And sympathies to his family and family friends who were real friends not the moochers.

Okay I got that outta the way.
Random thoughts.....
Too much Jesus Juice? The Batteries ran out? Macaulay Culkin wouldn't take a collect call from him?

What ever the cause maybe the Environmentalists can rest easy. We can recycle 90% of him.

Something that is kind of puzzling .... With soooo many wax museums around the country with Jacko as featured display, why couldn't they find the spare parts? Were they already outdated models and incompatible with the Michael Jackson 9.5?
"We can rebuild him. We have the technology." and millions of spare parts.

It's sad really. Now Lady Gaga has to find another potential boyfriend. (That lady reminds me of a guy in drag. eiew.)

I see a conspiracy brewing too.... Heath Ledger played The Joker in one of the best roles of a bad guy yet. Truly one of my favorites. He dies last year. This year the guy who emulated The Joker in real life dies........ I am really concerned.... How is Jack Nicholson doing????

Horse Sense

2009-06-11T11:08:00.001-05:00

SEGUIN, TEXAS...

A man is sitting in a bar far from home when Barack Obama comes on TV. The man looks at the TV and says, "Obama is a horse's ass." Out of nowhere, a local jumps up and punches him in the face, knocking the first guy off his bar stool, then stomps out.

He gets up, rubbing his cheek and orders another beer. Shortly after, Michelle Obama appears on the TV. He looks at the TV and says, "She is a horse's ass too!"

Out of nowhere, another local punches him on the other side of the face, knocking him off his bar stool again.

He gets back up and looks at the bartender, "I take it this is Obama country?"

"Nope." replies the bartender. "Horse country."

Dumb Liberal Humor

2009-06-10T11:44:00.002-05:00

A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to the place of eternal torment, he saw a democrat making passionate love to a beautiful woman.
"What a ripoff," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity and that democrat gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."
Jabbing the man with his pitchfork, the escorting demon snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punnishment?"

****
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On the way back to through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear," replied the mother. "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said "Here lies a democrat and an honest man."

****
You are trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a democrat. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?

Shoot the democrat. Twice.

****
Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of democrats?

He threatened to release one every hour if his demands wern't met.

:)

Nothing To Prove

2009-05-30T10:08:00.002-05:00

OK, I know that some high school kids have precious little to do this time of year. School is getting out, they're hanging out with friends & their little hormone-driven frames just need to prove something. For that last part, I now have some advice:

Think about the person you choose to make your point.

My date & I were walking to grab a sandwich at the local Hardee's last night & just having a nice conversation when we saw six kids - two guys, four girls - hanging out at the corner by the restaurant. Now, that's not a completely unusual sight but something seemed a bit off about one of them. He started walking our way & intentionally kept to the middle of the side walk - guaranteeing I'd either have to move out of the way or butt shoulders with him.

Not being a simple thug, I chose the former. This little punk had one thing - starting a confrontation - and darned if I was going to give it to him. As we walked past, I gave his buddy a bit of a look to let him know these two people weren't an easy target & he definitely kept his distance. Obviously, doofus #1 didn't see that glare & turned around to come right up behind us. He was certainly trying to impress his friends & meant to "look big" at our expense.

We walked off without incident.

However, I'd like to say that this 16 or 17 year-old really did get lucky. Had he started something when I was alone, there's really not much of a problem: I'd get out of there as soon as I could - since there would be little sympathy for an adult with two black belts fighting off a common thug/kid. Being with a lady, the situation changes dramatically. Had he attacked, I'm now defending someone else. Nothing would have mattered other than getting her out of there safe & I would have ruined this dumbass to do it.

For you simple hooligans out there who think playing around like this is fun, just consider with whom you're messing. They may have skills in fighting/self-defense & not be so willing to avoid confrontation. Not to toot my own horn (I hope what I know never has to come out) but had this moron started something last night, I'd probably be asking someone to bail me out instead of typing this blog post.

Deep Thoughts: The nObama Official Number

2009-05-29T14:44:00.004-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

***************************

The President nObama has earned himself the first official Number of a President. A Symbol of his presidency.

#34

I think it is fitting. From now on we can refer to the President nObama as Number Thrity-Four.

Hap do you think that they will get it? Hint: Clinton would have to be #81.

Bad Break

2009-05-29T13:21:00.003-05:00

Literally.

We had 3 people testing in HKD this week: One for red belt, one for green belt & one for yellow belt. The good news is all of them passed.

The bad news is that one of them (testing for red belt) suffered a broken radial bone in his right arm that could not be set at a local doctor's office & had to wait until the next morning. He's a tough kid of 17 years & there's no doubt he'll be fine. This guy can hang with me in most situations & he's giving up at least 50lbs...so yeah, he can hold his own.

We have a final drill in every test that we call the "Circle of Death". This is very much a tongue-in-cheek thing & consists of the four most senior belts standing at the corners of the mats & attacking the defender in succession. There's no break in between attackers & the adrenaline gets pumping. Unfortunately, this is where the break happened.

Now, I've talked to the guy ("green") who did the breaking & let him know he didn't do anything wrong: HKD is a rough & tumble art (I've got a chipped tooth to prove it) that brings about injuries. There was no malicious intent & he simply went faster than expected when taking "red" down. "Green" does great at this art & needs to know that these things will rattle someone...to which I shared with him my story of being rattled once.

I was also an orange belt, over 5 years ago, and we were working on throws. The particular technique is called the "One-Step Throw" & can really send the attacker flying for distance. Now, when we do this sort of throw with someone of a low rank (below brown belt), it's customary to let them know what we're planning to do. It helps avoid accidents (in theory).

So, a young lady who was also an orange belt (all of 15, I think) was the "attacker" & I let her know we were going to do the one-step throw. Upon her acknowledging this, I repeated the name of the technique, did a couple of set-ups & then did a "ki-hap" to let her know I was ready to go. She did the same & I performed a breakaway from her grab, stepped deep & turned around to step for the throw.

She whipped forward & didn't tuck her head down for the rolling fall that was supposed to happen. Literally, time seemed to hold its breath as she bounced once on the mats (thankfully very cushioned) & lay there for a second - it seemed like much longer - crumpled in a heap.

My first thought was, "Oh my God! I just killed this poor girl because I did something wrong!". My instructor (who is still my instructor), came up to me after seeing what happened & noticed how upset I was. He simply & calmly asked if I told her what technique was going to happen. When I replied that, yes, she did know & we had done a couple set-ups, he replied plainly that she failed to roll properly & it wasn't my fault in any way.

The most important part, however, is that she was perfectly fine. Stunned a bit, but no worse for wear & completely understanding that she didn't roll properly. To be honest, I was just happy she was OK.

So, as I was telling "green", I know what it's like to be rattled to the core & feel like you've done a horrible thing. While knowing you didn't mean any harm may not help, we all assume the same risk coming into that class. "Red" knew that as well as anyone & there's no doubt in my mind he'll be just fine. "Green" is a spectacular student & I know he'll bounce back from this.

Martial Law

2009-05-25T12:16:00.003-05:00

Patti of Good Googledy Moogledies commented on a recent post where she asked:

"Have any advice that might help a mom who'd like to let her boy explore what [martial art] he is interested in, but in an environment that is productive to the boy - not just the instructor's bottom line?"

Choosing a martial arts school can seem complicated: Tuition costs, uniforms, extra equipment, etc. are only a few of the thoughts that will run through your head when trying to choose a school. Honestly, though, the above concerns aren't the most important. Ultimately, the concern is finding a martial art & school you enjoy.

With that in mind, here are Hap's recommendations for finding a martial arts school:
1) Style: What does the school teach? This is what the student will study & it needs to match what you want out of a martial art. Do you want self-defense? Jeet Kun Do or Hap Ki Do are great...Tae Kwon Do or Karate aren't for you in this case. I'll offer more suggestions at the end of the post.

2) Location/Facility: Try to find a close school with clean, organized facilities. Traveling for an hour, unless the student is exceptionally dedicated to the art, is not practical. Facilities should be appropriate for the art (i.e. - clean, spacious mats for Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu or high ceilings with clean, smooth floors for Tae Kwon Do). Fancy equipment is often expensive & schools generally are in this for profit. That means the students are paying for what you see. That's not necessarily a bad thing...just keep it in mind.

3) Contracts: This also includes tuition costs. There is ZERO need to sign a contract, in my opinion. The school should either bill by the lesson or by the month. Just because "you get what you pay for" is a popular adage doesn't mean it's entirely true. A good school won't break the bank. In fact, I'd be suspect of any school that charges over $80/month (major cities may cost more). My instructor charges far less, though teaching is not how he earns his living.

Any school worth your time will let a prospective student try out a lesson or two for free AND will answer all questions honestly.

4) Equipment: Can you purchase your own or must you buy from the school? The latter often means marked-up prices. Depending on the art, there may be a lot of equipment to purchase & purchasing from a distributor such as Century can often be less expensive than buying from the school. A school can determine the dress code of students & the students should be allowed to obtain that equipment by the most cost-effective means.

With those basics out of the way, here are some questions I'd ask based on experience:
(If you don't get a straight answer on any of the below, just leave the school)
1) How many years have you practiced AND taught in [martial art]?

2) What is the core philosophy of the school (sparring, self-defense, discipline, competition, etc.)?

3) How much is tuition? Are testing fees included in this price? If not, what are the testing fees for each level & for what (exactly) does the testing fee pay (boards, new belt, certificate, instructor time)? I'm personally against the instructor charging a large test fee for his/her "time". That should be part of the tuition, not test. The testing is the student's time!

4) Are there any age restrictions for rank? Unfortunately, some schools will promote based only on time-in-rank & not consider age. Remember that rank is a combination of skill, effort, time and maturity. The belt is basically a measuring stick for progress. By itself, the belt keeps your pants up - it does not determine actual ability or dedication to the art.

There are plenty of other questions that may be asked. If anyone comes up with any, I am always available to answer them. Please feel free to e-mail me (e-mail link is at the top of the site) if something is on your mind.

Now, for a quick summary of martial arts. These are arts to which I have been exposed but do not necessarily have a rank:
1) Hapkido (2nd Degree): My first martial art & the other love in my life (besides God, Country & Family). Hapkido focuses largely on joint locks, balance disruption & minor striking elements. The main focus is to prevent/deter an attack & strongly discourage the attacker from pursuing another assault. It is a difficult art to learn but exceptionally difficult to counter in its primary application: Self-Defense.

2) Taekwondo (2nd Degree): A striking art that utilizes snapping kicks (70%) & hand strikes (30%). It is an art in the sense of patterns (kata, poomse) to learn & an entire philosophy permeating every aspect of the discipline. This is a very popular art across America for families & children as one major focus for schools is to instill discipline in students. There are also more "acrobatic" kicks & techniques that make for good demonstration, competition & sparring.

3) Arnis (Level 2 of 10): An overly-simplified summary of this art is "stick fighting". More accurately, it is close-quarters self-defense with a combative edge to the art. The stick & knife techniques supplement Hapkido's joint locks with practical weaponry. Still, the art easily stands on its own in terms of self-defense & adaptability.

4) Jeet Kun Do (No Rank): The art founded by the late Bruce Lee, JKD is simplicity in self-defense. It borrows elements from various Chinese styles & offers discipline along with self-confidence. If there were a place to start in martial arts, this would probably be the best. A student can get in shape while learning valuable skills.

5) Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (No Rank): A grappling art, the traditional form founded by the Gracies is renowned for revolutionizing Mixed Martial Arts & gave us organizations such as the UFC. BJJ deals largely with ground fighting applications & utilizes chokes, holds & joint manipulation to submit or render an opponent unconscious. There are "street" applications of this art that focus on self-defense but I am wary of any art that takes an attack to the ground. The focus of self-defense is to get out of the situation, not prolong it on the floor (That is just my opinion).

"Taken" Review

2009-05-24T21:22:00.002-05:00

***Minimal Spoilers - Ending NOT Revealed***

Summary: Don't mess around with daddy's little girl!!!

This was honestly an excellent movie from start to finish. Liam Neeson (a spectacular actor)plays a former government agent whose teenage daughter is abducted by a kidnapping ring in Paris, France. What results is the most one-sided kicking of criminal @$$ that I have ever been proud to see.

Neeson's character is resourceful & he stops at no moral end to gain information towards locating his missing progeny. In this way, the movie is exceptionally believable: no matter how brutal the actions of the protagonist, you always know his behavior brings him productively closer to finding his baby girl. He's a father protecting his child & Heaven have mercy on anyone in his way...

From a martial arts perspective, the film is a complete thrill. There's ZERO over-the-top flippy kicks & stunts. My best guess is he employs Krav Maga (or Commando Krav Maga) in most of his "dealings" with the animals in the kidnapping ring. It's an exceptional style that suits the subject material perfectly & the brutality of the techniques is a mirror into the soul of a fearsome, angered father. At no point can you doubt how the movie will end.

If you want to see a great movie, don't even glance elsewhere. Taken will hold you from start to finish & the conflict resolution, much like the father's morals, is absolute.

Memorial Day

2009-05-24T21:04:00.002-05:00

As we enjoy a long weekend with our families & friends, please, let us all remember there are many men & women who have served this great nation who can only look down from Heaven & hope for one more moment, one more day or even one more word to the ones for whom they sacrificed everything. Keep in mind that we have to live for them - appreciate their courage & commitment to a grateful nation - and be thankful every day we bask in the glowing freedom each service member has provided.

Freedom is not free. The price paid, so terrible to those who have lost soldiers; Marines; airmen or sailors, guarantees we can wake up every day in a land that is free & strong in the face of adversity. Every morning all of us can look at our beautiful Flag & know that that day we awoke as a free people.

Honor these brave men & women for their memories truly deserve the very best we Americans have to offer.

The Highest Order

2009-05-22T23:36:00.002-05:00

A compliment of, that is.

At our most recent test in TKD, we had a pretty lousy showing. I couldn't believe how poorly many of them did - it's like most of the students just didn't want to try. Even the most recent student of the month did terrible. Frustrating, just frustrating.

Fortunately, the adults who tested did a decent job. One student in particular did a spectacular job even though he's a white belt. Now, he's also an advanced student in Arnis & can really handle himself, so it's not like we're talking about a completely new-to-martial-arts student here.

In any event, I was the one judging him & even his terminology was excellent. He was straight-forward in his answers & demonstrated complete knowledge of the material. Afterwards, he came up to me & mentioned that he started TKD to work with his young daughter & decided to stick with it because he was impressed with how precise & strong my kicks & strikes are.

This, coming from a man who could whip me in a no-holds-barred fight in about 30 seconds! It's a great compliment & one that will only encourage me to work harder so the example set is the best possible.

Deep Thoughts - CAFE Standards

2009-05-20T10:40:00.004-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

***************************

Can we impose CAFE standards on Congress?

$$ per mile of performance?

The fines we would get back from Congress would pay for nObama's StimU-Less Bill.

WARNING!!!!!

2009-05-19T11:53:00.004-05:00

WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING

If you get an e-mail titled
"nude photos of Sarah Palin,"

DON'T OPEN IT!
...It could contain a virus.

If you get an e-mail titled
"nude photos of Nancy Pelosi,"

DON'T OPEN IT!

It could contain nude photos of Nancy Pelosi!

Lesson Of The Day

2009-05-17T13:11:00.002-05:00

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to clear his parched throat.

He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, 'Hey old man, have you ever danced?'

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, 'No, I never did dance and just never wanted to.'

A crowd had gathered quickly and the gun slinger grinned and said, 'Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now' and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector in order to not get a toe blown off or his boots perforated was soon hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet and everybody was laughing fit to be tied.

When the last bullet had been fired the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers back. The loud, audible, double clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The quiet was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. He found it hard to swallow. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands.

The old man said, 'Son, did you ever kiss a mule's ass?' The boy bully swallowed hard and said, 'No. But I've always wanted to.'

There are two lessons for us all here:
1. Don't waste ammunition.

2. Don't mess with old people.

Meme for Me? Me!

2009-05-16T16:01:00.002-05:00

Harvey of Bad Example tagged me on a recent (under 1 year old) meme and, being the obliging blog-groupie that I am, here's the skinny:

Rules:
1) Post the rules on your blog.
2) Tell 5 random things about yourself.
3) Tag 3 people at the end of your post.
4) Pass on the tag.

5 Random Facts
1) Every time I talk with my parents, I can feel some sense of their disappointment & wish I had made more of my life.

2) The scar on my head (from the surgery) reminds me both of how strong & how fragile we all are.

3) "A Bit of Fry & Laurie" is one of my favorite shows.

4) I've wanted to move to South Carolina for over a year. Now that it's close to that time, I'm scared to death of what my life will be like.

5) I will worry constantly about my screw-ups in some odd hope that worrying will fix the problem when there's nothing I can actively do.

Now the taggees:
1) Mrs. Who of House of Zathras
2) Pam of pamibe
3) Patti of Good Googledy Moogledies

Sorry, Guys

2009-05-16T03:07:00.004-05:00

Well, I have to give myself credit: at least I made it 1 week into dating again without screwing up.

Of course, I had to be typical over-thinking me after that time & sentence myself to probably at least another 2 1/2 years without a social life.

Some advice: when you know in your heart of hearts that you are meant to be alone for the entirety of your life, don't drag someone in hoping for a miracle - just accept it & lower the risk of one more person getting hurt.

She's a nice lady & I wish her the best - she deserves an actual man.

***Update***
OK, you can upgrade me from "dumbass" to "dork". As usual, I was worried about more than the actual problem.

Turns out, she was concerned that I was trying to push her out of my life (which would be phenomenally fast for me - considering this pretty girl has hardly been given the time to be in my life). We talked a bit yesterday & kind of resolved the concern - which is good being that I really do like this lady. Maybe we both freaked out a little because hitting things off so well is odd for me & the same for her.

Mrs. Who: Sorry about the "actual man" comment. Reading that, for a friend who treats me with the respect you do, must have been a slap in the face. Can I blame it on the former hole in my head just this once? PLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSE???

One should becareful about blindly passing legislation.

2009-05-12T16:20:00.004-05:00

This was emailed to me and I find it fascinating. ...Probably not nice to put right after the Happy Mother's Day Blog... but..

(Note to self: CALL MOM! You dummy you forgot.)

I digress.... Where was I ... Oh yes. This IS fascinating.

Be sure to read the final paragraph; your understanding of it will depend on the earlier part of the content.

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.

Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England , because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Romebuilt the first long distance roads in Europe (and England ) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.
Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.. Bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with it?', you may be exactly right.
Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horse's asses.)

Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRB's. The SRB's are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRB's would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRB's had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRB's had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses controlled almost everything.

Happy Mothers' Day!

2009-05-10T14:00:00.002-05:00

To all you mothers out there who make this a better, brighter & funnier place in which to live, thank you & have a great day - you've earned it!

All of you have a thankless job whether you stay at home or split work at home with a career. As a former kid I can tell you from experience that the little devils we are sometimes will drive you crazy but we sons & daughters love our Mothers.

Have a beautiful & blessed Mothers' Day!

As my gift to you, tell your families to make sure the house is clean, Mom gets to do what she wants (or doesn't want) to do & everyone tell her how much she makes your world a better place...or Hap will give them a free "lesson". :-)

Relativity

2009-05-09T23:30:00.002-05:00

"Relativity: Put your hand on a hot stove & a second can feel like an hour. Put your hands on a hot woman & an hour can feel like a second" - LL Cool J, Deep Blue Sea

Well, Hap finally made a change - he went out on a date for the first time in 2 1/2 years. Honestly, the young lady I was so fortunate to attend for the evening began the pursuit, so I can hardly say it was my idea.

Imagine, if you will, the perfect evening: dinner in a quiet, calm, softly-lit Italian restaurant; gradually moving over to the lounge area with its cozy couches, light oldies playing in the background; relaxed & talking the entire night away until the place closes at 2am. You know, just getting to know someone & doing so in complete comfort.

It sounds like something from a great romantic comedy - too good to be true. But this "perfect" evening actually happened last night.

Now, I don't know if she reads my blog but even if I KNEW she didn't, Hap makes every effort to be a gentleman, so there will be no confirmation or denial about romance save my saying that I'm attracted to AND respect this woman, so a perfect first date is the perfect introduction, not a scene from a trashy romance novel.

The problems I find now are these:
1) I was laid off from my job. Yes, I have money but still feel embarrassed to tell this lady that I'm unemployed. There's no good reason, I just feel awkward.

2) I want to move to South Carolina, planned to do so & planned to tell her up-front but now, selfishly, I'm thinking there's no harm in staying longer to get to know her & wonder if that means my integrity is lacking for changing my mind. (For the record, she knows I want to live in SC).

Beyond any issues my mind can dream up, this woman is a smart, passionate (driven to succeed, fellas), former Marine with red hair, blue eyes & a smile that could melt a glacier. I even was comfortable enough to let her feel the scar on my head & explain the surgery. To say this impressive gal has qualities I appreciate is to say Elvis dressed a just little flashy in the 70s...

Why, oh why, did someone come along right when all the biggest changes started happening in my life? I have to wonder if it's a blessing or another case where I have horrible timing & it'll all go "bye bye" in a snap? Obviously, I'm praying for the blessing but don't know if I've done anything so well to deserve that.

Defining

2009-05-06T10:27:00.002-05:00

http://james4america.wordpress.com/2009/05/03/economic-recession-depression-and-recovery/

The Coffee Cup Conspiracy

2009-05-01T17:37:00.004-05:00

As promised the little known "Great Coffee Cup Conspiracy."

Not too long ago a think tank made up of coffee experts mainly consumers with not much else to think about but more than Liberals and Progressives ususally do in a lifetime, were sitting and enjoying their daily cup of joe when one of the cups was turned horizontal unintentionally thus spilling the contents upon themself. It was this instant when the deep realization of the gravity of the Great Coffee Cup Conspiracy.

The Spiller, we'll call him Bill, not because it rhymes with spill, but because Bill is his real name. Anyway Bill, slightly agitated that he not only lost his morning beverage and would have to go back to get another because who would want to live through a morning with out that addiction fix.? He left mumbling at how much the cup of coffee was actually costing him when he included his wardrobe costs. I think it was all of $30. When he arrived at the coffee pot he discovered that someone had taken the last of the pot and did not make any more. Is there anything more infuriating? So he proceeded to brew another pot. I and the others joined him in the break room because I was out already and Chris's coffee was cold. I mentioned to Bill that this was a huge waste of money. We all agreed and we came up with the following points for the Great Coffee Conspiracy.

The beverage of and by itself is hugely addictive. You just cannot go by too long without a fix. It has to be more addictive than non-conventional narcotics.
It is brewed too hot to drink so one has to wait before taking the first sips. This adds to the enticement and makes it that much more irresistable.
If spilled .... it stains like none other. We are thinking that the textile manufacturers and clothing manufacturers had something to do with the incompatibility with these two addictions. The need for coffee and the need for clothes. We accepted that the second addiction was not exactly an addiction but more of a social decency. Especially in some cases.
Look at the cup. The very design of the cup lends it self to more consumption of an already irresistable addiction. It is bigger on top and open. Heat rises and the cooling surface of the cup creates a temperature reduction cycle that the very design of the cup accelerates. What happens when the coffee gets cold? As Chris did: he dumped it out and got another cup.
The design of the cup is also top heavy, and as Bill experienced, has a very major tendency to turn 90 degrees. No one ever saw a coffee cup right itself. No no that would be counter productive to the selling of more coffee (and clothes).
If coffee is left for too long (which seems like not very long) on a warmer then it burns and it needs to be thrown out and another pot created.
Drinking coffee has become a traditional begining and ending to the day. It is the first bevarage of the morning to wake up and is offered by eating establishments (they are a big part of the conspiracy) for an "after dinner drink."
It is rather inexpensive and readilly available. Often free. Hmmm $1.25 for a Pepsi or a Free coffee? Well twist my conservative arm.

Coffee is one of those things that is pushed on us as a society and we get hooked and are now dependant to the mercy of the growers of the bean. What would happen if Columbia decided to quit exporting thier brown gold? This country and I imagine several others would revolt! We would invade Columbia like they were the fourth axel of evil. Can you imagine if Coffee were taxed like cigarettes? nObama would have a surplus budget. (Sorry. I just couldn't do a whole blog without at least two shots at him.)

Those were all the angles I could think of on short notice I think I missed a couple. Feel free to ponder the Great Coffee Conspiracy and enlighten us with your angles on this menace to mankind. In the mean time I got to refill my cup. It's kind of dry.

See you in the break room.

Benefits of Training

2009-05-01T10:20:00.002-05:00

Last Tuesday, I was working in the basketball court area of a local rec center with a few of the other black belts on their forms. We started with the first 1st degree form & then I asked them what they wanted to do next.

"Koryo", the 1st degree form in World TKD Federation, was the universal response.

It's a fun form & the beginning has double side kicks (low & high) that can really show off the practitioner's abilities. Heck, I enjoy that part of the form more than any other section.

As it turns out, basketball courts have floors that are well-waxed, shiny & quite a bit on the slick side. So slick, in fact, that a certain black belt attempting the high part of that kick combo might discover that the ball of his foot is inadequate for keeping him firmly standing on terra firma. Yeah, that "certain" black belt was yours truly.

Now, if this was a stuntman competition, this guy had it won - hands down! My right leg kicked high; and the left leg, apparently saddened at being all alone, decided to join righty...in mid-air. The result was a horizontal, twisting position that had me facing the opposite direction of my intended kick - again, in mid-air.

There I was, headed for a personal crash of NASCAR proportions, when the years of HKD training kicked in. The arms came up, forearms in front of my face, head turned to the side & legs extended to prevent my stomach from belly flopping in a most painful way. BOOM! textbook front fall..albeit from an, um, elevated position.

The guys were pretty shocked - even more so when I stood right up & got right back into the mix.

Am I the only one turned off by the $5 subway song?

2009-05-01T08:17:00.002-05:00

Random Thought Warning.

Is it just me who thinks that the weightloss phenom known as 'Subway Jarred' been benched by a 3rd grade jingle talent contest? The economy must really be hurting.

I even went to Subway's website to ask them to please stop and they have the flipping thing on their front page where if you didn't get enough of it during Prime time television watching or on the radio every 20 minutes ... you could click on it and watch it again. What kind of sadistic creeps are working there?

I rolled my eyes and shut my browser. Then I headed to Jimmy Johns.

nObama's Swine Flu Scape Goat. Code Name: Pigs do fly

2009-04-29T08:38:00.003-05:00

They claim they found the source of the swine flu.

It was this kid!

More Like Great!

2009-04-27T00:03:00.002-05:00

From a recent comment, I decided to check out Patti's blog, Good Googledy Moogledies.

Personally, I think it's worth an upgrade to "great" but you can judge for yourself when you pay her a visit. She's got to-the-point, humorous quips about life; a few pics of the farm; and even some valuable philosophical insight.

The blog is a nice combination of musings on life & well worth anyone's time.

Gange Green

2009-04-25T18:16:00.004-05:00

The recent spread of swine flu has claimed its first tragic loss in both the ecological & acting communities.

Sadly, it seems the virus can also be spread via sexual means from one infected person to another and, well, the results speak for themselves...

Just Dumb

2009-04-25T12:43:00.003-05:00

I was hanging out with one of my good friends at a local bar last night & a person he knew came up to us. My temporary hiatus from the working world was mentioned in the course of conversation. I guess it was a topic that just came up.

Instead of the usual, "Sorry about that", or other sympathetic gesture, this guy decides to appeal to my sense of greed - which is like appealing to a leftist's sense of decency - by inviting me to join a thinly-veiled ponzi scheme that's been going around the area for awhile.

Needless to say, I shot that idea down in a very direct (yet reasonably polite) manner.

Listen, buddy: I ain't yer pal & if I'm going to earn any money, it will be by honest work. Truth be told, I'd rather earn $6.25/hour flipping burgers than know I cheated someone out of their money. It's called ethics & self-respect. Try getting a little of both.

Sure Thing, Buddy

2009-04-24T08:12:00.002-05:00

Well, my plans to move to SC may have been accelerated just a bit. As part of the 2nd round of layoffs at work, I was let go today. It's considered a layoff, not a firing & the company is going to pay me through 4/30, plus remaining vacation & will not challenge unemployment benefits. Plus, my COBRA will be 35% of regular cost.

In other words, I'm free to enjoy an 83-degree day, while getting paid by a former employer whose most redeeming characteristic was creeping my blood pressure up slowly while I worked there.

I'll miss working with some of the folks there...just some, not most. Trucking is a stressful industry. I was planning on getting out at the end of June, no matter what, so this is not entirely an unexpected turn of events. I've spent the last 8 months preparing for this day...it just came a little sooner than expected (not even mostly a bad thing).

How Leftists...

2009-04-22T11:42:00.002-05:00

Celebrate free speech...

Sure, you CAN say what you want but if some silver spoon-fed twin brother of a certain moronic blonde hotel heiress doesn't like your answer to a question & uses vulgarity to express an opinion about you - well, you're the bad guy, not him.

Regardless of your position on same-gender marriage, you're entitled to that view. While it doesn't mean everyone must agree, or even respect, that decision, it doesn't entitle a bunch of Hollywood leftist kooks to jump on a Miss USA finalist because her answer wasn't the right one in their eyes.

My belief has always been that when you resort to sarcastic insults & parodies of a person & his/her position on an issue, it means you can't defend your position in honest debate. The Hollywood left obviously has no concept of "honest" so they simply smear anyone with whom they disagree. It's a tactic meant to belittle & hijack debate from potential opposition.

If you can't come up with a productive counter-argument, Perez, shut yer yap with the insults. Some day, you might get learned good by someone who isn't willing to take your crap.

You can't make this stuff up. Pt. 2

2009-04-20T23:06:00.005-05:00

A friend of mine worked for a great company but for ....well a pair of Asshats. They cut down their underlings mercilessly and for some reason their reign of terror still exists to this day. They use mostly temporary help because finding someone to sell their soul for a paycheck that is not in politics is just rare. But sometimes ..... Sometimes the underling is just a little more clever than the Asshat. Okay they are ALWAYS more clever than the Asshat but sometimes the underling is willing to go the distance with the Asshat. My friend reached that level and the following is a VERY TRUE story.

This Asshat Supervisor pair was looking for some way to inspire their underlings to work harder and faster and love them for this 6 grader attempt at team building. They were to create their own award/recognition system for people who bust their butts for statistical superiority or figure out how to manipulate their numbers and work the system as it always goes.

First question I had was: What was the award? Money?, Gift Certificates?, A free lunch at the company cafeteria? a roaming cheap rumagesale trophy?

The profound answer: "Nothing."

Now how profound can "Nothing" be. oh it gets better.

My friend came up with and submitted and the deep and vast wisdom of the Asshats passed this on to the team for a vote. The team also in on the award declared the following the winner:

This is an excerpt from the actual email...

Subject: Revised award program name...

As a team, you provided the suggestions......and as a team you voted.
Now, without further ado.....I would like to introduce the name of our new, revised award program............
and it is.........

The 'Notable Offering To Honor Impressive Numerical Greatness' Award.

Thank you to everyone who participated in the name selection process! Thank you to XNameOmittedToProtectTheGuiltyX as well for suggesting this magnificent name!!!!! I will be providing more specifics regarding our revised awards program at a later time. Stay tuned!!!

They totally missed it.
Notable
Offering
To
Honor
Impressive
Numerical
Greatness award.

Hmmmmm very profound, the reward was a perfect fit.

Why do people not understand that you get what you pay for..........
Unless you steal it from tax payers.

There is only so far I can go with out a political smack.

Deep (non-political) Thoughts By Ronny Engrish

2009-04-20T21:03:00.008-05:00

For those days when there is nothing better to do than to ponder through musings of a twisted mind.

***************************

Birds of a feather flock together........

and poop on your car.

Thanks to Break.com for the nasty picture and switchpod.com & pbs.ors for flipping me the birds

Trigger Squeeze

2009-04-19T17:45:00.003-05:00

A new bill, HR 45, would increase the requirements for purchasing a firearm. The bill is named the Blair Holt Firearm Licensing & Record of Sale Act of 2009. So named for a young man who bravely sacrificed himself to save the life of a young lady on a school bus from a gunman.

Using the death of a young man for a political chess move is underhanded, so I won't provide a counter-argument to stricter gun control by invoking his sacrifice.

My issue is requiring fingerprints, mental evaluations & possible home safety checks to ensure children are kept safe from guns. The bill, in typical congressional double speak, says children are not to have access to guns & parents will be prosecuted if children use a firearm EXCEPT in the case of self-defense. So, little Timmy can use the gun to defend his family as long as he isn't educated on how to use the firearm...which, somehow, makes sense to these "representatives".

I took the time to write my Representative - a rank & file democrat - that he should oppose the bill because it does the following:
1) Adds needless redundancy. Registration is already required for firearms.
2) Discourages the purchase of firearms in the case it passes. This will drive prices up & out of the reach of some who want to purchase them for home defense.
3) Does nothing to allow for children to be educated with regards to firearms.

I also took notice that the bill applies to all handguns & any semi-automatic firearm that can accept a detachable ammunition-feeding device. In other words, all shotguns & bolt action rifles are excluded. Basically, they're aiming at any personal carry self-defense firearm as a "feel good" measure for the public.

I guess as long as you're a law-abiding citizen - which most of us are - you'll have to deal with being defenseless in the face of a gun-wielding psycho. After all, everyone knows that because Congress puts it on a piece of paper, the criminals will just fall in line. Asshats!

Disgusted by part of the American Race

2009-04-17T12:36:00.002-05:00

Ever get writer's block but not because you have nothing to say but because you have too much to say and everything you have to say is aptly communicated with a screaming ......

YOU BUNCH OF ARROGANT ASSHATS!!!

Some one said today that Janeane Garofalo was somehow popular and respected in conservative circles because she is on that cheesey soiled diaper of a TV show called '24'. Yeah that show was kinda interesting the first time around. I watched parts of it. Then the second one came out and I watched a couple episodes. I didn't waste a minute of my life on it since. but I digress....

Janeane Garofalo is known in Conservative circles like a town whore is known in an Amish community. Everyone knows who she is and what she is all about but nobody invites that beotch to dinner.

Okay I am back.

Red Ink Genocide

2009-04-04T10:49:00.003-05:00

Never can it be said that liberals fail to appreciate the power of over-inflating a situation. There is certainly no shortage of strife, malice & tragedy in this world with opportunity to be politically exploited. Still, one has to wonder if those who supposedly "speak truth to power" have more than a tenuous hold on the concept of truth.

For example, take the perspective of Bill Keller, executive editor of the New York Times. The faded grey lady has fallen from grace in recent decades largely due to an ideological list to port that prevents any chance at righting the swamped vessel. In an actual ship, such a calamitous move would expose the keel & reveal a doomed craft. In a paper that fancies itself a cultural & media icon, the vantage we're offered is an exposed backside of a leftist agenda.

Only in the most ignorant, selfish mind could ANYONE take the collapse of a failed, agenda-driven periodical & make even a tangential comparison to genocide. It's this impervious-to-reason ideology which allows tragedies in the world to continue: Why fight a travesty against humanity, when one may objectify it & frame it to suit a business model?

The left is often & appropriately caricatured with the motto, "The ends justify the means". Apparently, this holds true even with (lack of) respect to the struggles against the most vile examples of inhumanity.

Perhaps the Times would better direct its crimson pens against actual tragedies in the world & refrain from the self-pitying foolishness of comparing running in the red with the horrific red flow of human violence.

Republic or Democracy

2009-03-31T17:19:00.003-05:00

Courtesy of Walter E. Williams...the answer can be found HERE!

For Heaven's sake, if we don't oppose what's been laid before us over the past 20 years, we deserve the oligarchical fate that awaits us.

"...for if in so doing we lose this precious freedom of ours, history will record with the greatest astonishment that those who stood to lose the most did the least to prevent its happening." - Ronald W. Reagan

Drug Free

2009-03-31T14:34:00.002-05:00

I've been off the meds for a few weeks now & the most noticeable difference is my blood pressure no longer seems to be prohibitively high. While we do have high blood pressure in the family, 164/92 is exceptionally high at 34 (he hypertension has never "kicked in" before 50).

The doctor didn't think it was unusually high given the meds I was on, so the fact I am able to perform at normal levels now tells me exactly what that Dilantin stuff does to you over the course of six months.

The "normal" feeling really came back yesterday in TKD & carried over to the lunch class today. Ms. Watson & I even sparred a bit (no contact) & we each had good exchanges. She's good but doesn't fight dirty like I do. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Why, Cat, Why?

2009-03-26T13:00:00.005-05:00

I've never understood cats...

Being a dog person, those furry little felines conjure images of hair balls & litter boxes. That's probably why I was reluctant to take my brother's $700 Scottish Fold when he moved into an apartment that doesn't take pets.

As for why I mention the cost: My brother did a lot of research on what kind of cat he wanted & ultimately picked the Fold because of their tendency to bond strongly with one person & their general placid demeanor. What he didn't count on is the little kitty would, for some odd reason, bond more to me than him.

She is a very nice cat (that unfortunately listens as well as any other cat) & he felt she'd be happier staying with me instead of giving her away. I agreed there since who knows what can happen to a pet when another person takes him or her.

This little bundle of Gizmo-looking joy has taken to sleeping in my bed at nights. Hey, that's fine. She's a little one & doesn't make a sound. She likes to curl up at the foot of the bed which is just fine with me since we won't see Spring here in Iowa until May.

The problem?

I generally sleep on my back & this one has figured that sleeping on my stomach/chest is a darn comfortable place! Being soooo smart, I reasoned that a little roll to my side would dump her off of me & put the idea of sleeping there out of that little cat brain.

WRONG!

With the cat now sleeping on my hip, I reluctantly rolled onto my back again & resigned myself to many nights of moderate discomfort. This holy terror will make noise & run all over the place if she doesn't have ready access to my room!

Here's a few pics of her taken on my new 5.0MP Smartphone camera...

Group Think

2009-03-25T23:19:00.002-05:00

Well, secretary of State Hillary Clinton says we Americans deserve some of the blame for Mexico's drug problem.

Now, you might think my issue here is with another democrat pulling the "blame America, first" crap but you'd only be partially correct.

The real effing problem is the former-First "Lady's" grouping of law-abiding Americans with the corrupt, devious & shameless. No, I'm not talking about Congress...I mean those losers out there that buy, sell & use illicit drugs.

This is a typical leftist tactic of eliminating individualism by putting us all in groups. There's not you, me & our friend. No, it's a trio of gun-toting, bible clutching red-staters. Dhimmocrats just don't have the time to learn the names of all the people they hate. This way I guess it's easier for them to round us all up & keep us with our "kind" when the last of our rights go bye-bye.

Look, madam secretary: we're not even mostly the helpless, worthless individuals you & your ilk make us out to be. We want your kind to stay out of our lives, let us live free as we deserve & hopefully all of you pols can take a flying leap.

Good Eats

2009-03-22T15:01:00.002-05:00

OK, not sure where my sister got this recipe but - dang! - it sure is good stuff!

It's an avocado bean dip that's just great in every way...

You'll need:
2 regular avocados
1 can of black beans
1 can of kernel corn
1 small can of Rotel (or diced tomatoes)
1 - 2 tablespoons of lime juice
cheese
blue corn chips

Half & dice the avocados & dump into a large bowl. These should be small chunks.

Drain & rinse the beans, corn & Rotel (dry them a little with a paper towel, too!). Add to the bowl.

Add the lime juice.

Cheese - this depends on your tastes. It calls for feta but that's a little too much on the saltiness for me. I tried a shredded asiago & that was just about right. Either way, use about 3 -4oz.

Mix all the above in the bowl & you're ready to go!

Note for the cooking-impaired: the chips DO NOT get mixed in!!! Duh!

That's about the size of it

2009-03-21T22:19:00.011-05:00

Well if this is the money we could be saving with Geico ......................

Then what is THIS???????

It is the money we could have saved with McCain & Palin.

The Obama Health Care Plan and Bragging Reichs

2009-03-19T10:56:00.004-05:00

In a recent multi-national conference Hillary Clinton attended the topic of Universal Health care was brought up.

The Israeli Minister of Health bragged: "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it into another and have him looking for work in six weeks!"

The German Minister of Health who stood up and said, "Well medicine in my county is so advanced, we can take a lung out of one person and put it into another and have him looking for work on 4 weeks"

The Russian Minister of Health and Social Development got up and said "My country is even more advanced, we can remove half a heart from one person, put it into another and have them both looking for work in just 2 weeks!"

Not to be outdone, the American Secretary of Health and Human Services stood up and addressed the conference, "Well", he said, "My country is so far advanced in medicine, we can take an aaah* uhem Sphincter out of Chicago , put it in the White House, and have half the country looking for work in 24 hours!"

edited for Mrs. Who's kids and any other impressionable readers. ;)
**thanks to Internet friend for the original work

Thought for the day

2009-03-19T09:18:00.003-05:00

Forwarded to me from an Internet friend.

Do you realize that Obama probably signed his stimulus package at the same desk where..................

....Clinton got his package stimulated?

Kinda makes you think. Doesn't it?

All Class

2009-03-17T21:40:00.002-05:00

Note to former presidents Carter & Clinton...take a lesson from former-president Bush. He refuses to criticize president Obama.

This is following tradition, sirs! Something neither of your self-important, needy, attention-getting personalities allow. It's been tradition since the formation of the United States that former presidents cede the spotlight & allow our current leaders to perform, uninterrupted by their predecessors.

Do the United States a favor: retire & leave the limelight of public office. Follow the example of a true leader, not a cowardly pacifist or sex-offender.